Saturday, December 31, 2005

A journey of a thousand miles always begins with one step.
-- Ancient Egyptian Proverb.
Don't wait for your ship to come in. Row out to meet it.
-- Unknown.
Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice.
-- Unknown.

Tabula rasa

--scraped or blank tablet--

I'm excited about a new year. New possibilities. Chances to start over (again, hee hee).

Remember that last Calvin & Hobbes cartoon? Where they're on a sled and there's nothing but opportunity before them? Tha'ts how I feel-- full of possibilty and curiousity for all that's yet to come.

Can it be midnight already?

Friday, December 30, 2005

Be proud of me!

No, I didn't win anything. I didn't write anything. No, I don't have the refrigerator cleaned or my application for funding ready or nothing. I've still got one day in 2005 to do all that--Ha!

No, yesterday I stood in the plant aisle at Target, coveting a button fern and telling myself that if I bought it and it died, it would only be $2.50 wasted, and then I reminded myself that if I bought the fern and it died, it would be another living creature (roaches notwithstanding) that I'd killed when I didn't have to.

So I put the fern down and walked on.

Obviously, you've never read Proverbs 31

I have been taken to task for believing in submission. Why is submitting to one's husband such a bad thing????? People submit all the time. At your workplace, you submit to the organization's goals, don't you? People piss me off at the restaurant, but I can't tell them to go up the street to McDonald's. I submit to my boss's desires. And we submit to the laws of the land-- you wear your seatbelt, don't you? And you drive on the right hand side of the road? So submission isn't new. Just in light of the women's lib movement, it's gotten a bad rap.

Every man is not to blame for what's happened to women before. Sheesh. Every man is not the enemy.

Also, someone thinks that I'll become this docile robot. Not a chance. I aim to be a woman as described below in Proverbs 31. This woman is working hard for her family and her community, using her talents to benefit her life and the lives of others.

Her husband trusts her and that's the kind of wife I want to be. My baby ain't gonna have to worry 'cause I WILL HAVE HIS BACK!

And I won't "tone" down who I am for a man. I'm an intelligent, ambitious, talented lady. I couldn't, wouldn't and don't want someone who'd feel that my gifts are a challenge or threat to "him" when they, in fact, would be an asset to "us."


"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

She will do him good and no evil all the days of her life.

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

She is like the merchants' ship; she bringeth her food from afar.

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Proverbs 31:10-31

Rock on!

Eddie loaned me her truck so I could get some running around accomplished. The other day I was going to run some errands and my daughter Kara wanted to come along.

"You're not listening to the radio," I warned her. She likes rock and punk and changes the station first thing.

She said okay.

I put a cd that Sylvia had burned from downloaded songs in the stereo.

"Is this music from the 80's?"my daughter asked, her face wrinkled.

"Yep. And late 70's. Old school," I told her. Roger, Cameo, Peaches & Herb.

Kara rolled her eyes.

I just grinned and turned the volume up a notch. Really, three.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

This is for my grandmother

She died in December a few years ago. I miss her.




When I was going to get married, you gave me a quilt.
The Wedding Ring, but the links were doubled. You had pieced
and sewed it by hand and it was beautiful, meant to grace
my marriage bed. I thought
you’d change your mind when I changed
mine, but you let me keep it anyway.
maybe, one day


Your work was always on display at the County Fair.
The state recognized you as a contemporary, traditional quiltmaker and your quilts hung
in the Palace of the Governors. A magazine article and a splash
of fame in the life of a maid.

Later, when I worked for the Smithsonian, I offered your name
for the folklife program. The local coordinator was surprised.
Rosie Brooks is your grandmother? he asked.
And I smiled big, proud to say yes.
So proud.


I only wanted to learn"The Bear Claw." So much a little girl, collecting plush and porcelain.
The other names meant nothing to me — “The Log Cabin,” “Strip,” “Flower Baskets.”

A “Britches Quilt” was what your family poor, black and in Texas
made to keep warm. Old britches were always saved. Your daddy’s and your brothers’.
But I only wanted to learn "The Bear Claw." And I didn’t want anything made from leftovers.


Before you forgot who I was, you gave me
all the quilt tops you had. Of ten grandchildren, only I
loved to sew. I dropped by a quilt shop, once,
bought muslin, but not the batting. You kept asking
and I made excuses.

Later, when you left the hospital, in those days of your dying,
I would tell you how I was finally making progress.
I even promised to bring you a quilt for your medical bed
in your daughter’s house. Yes, I lied.
But I didn’t care because talking of quilts made you smile.


Almost Christmas. A year after your death. At a craft show,
a woman stands and watches me stitch a bear by hand.
She asks if I ever prick myself
and goes on to share how hand quilters often leave drops
of blood in the seams. Later at home, I unpack the quilt tops,
lay them across the living room floor.
On my knees, I search the stitches
for that which also flows through my veins.
Search for what I need in order
to do what you have entrusted to me, and finish it all.

Today's DailyOM

Read this


I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna get everything cross country. I will not leave behind my 80 houseplants and the various aquariums and terrariums of turtles. Not going without my dog, either.

Nothing short of everything

That's what I want.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

And congrats to an amazing writer

There are few writers that I wish I were instead of me. Myfanwy Collins is one of those writers. Go to her blog

Raw, intimate and emotional-- that's her talent.

She recently placed in Night Train's Richard Yates Short Story Competition:

Yates Winners!

3rd Place/Honorable Mention: Myfanwy Collins, Freak Magnet
and she had a second story in the mix as well.

Other Finalists

Myfanwy Collins, The Truth About Bears

A yahoo for her as well!

Yay! Susan

Congrats! Her book "Trattoria" has been nominated for a Romantic Times Reviewer's Choice Award!!

(Did you buy it like I told you to?)

Yay! Yay! Yay! So there-- Amanda Killgore;-p


Personal note to Susan: I soooo love Jimmy Stewart. $1 aisle at Target is currently sale priced at 50 cents and there was a dvd with two old movies starring him. I don't think there's a such thing as a bad Jimmy Stewart movie, so I dropped those two quarters!

Damn, at half a buck, I should have picked one up for you. Next trip--just drop your address;-)

A tin, with snowmen on it, and sugar cookies inside

all for a buck 34-- X-mas clearance aisle at Target.

Nah, it don't take much to make me happy:)

But before 2006, I've got to:

1) Get application to Money for Women

2) Get Dec. 31 postmark on a contest entry

3) Clean the refrigerator out

4) Call Goodwill (again)

E.O.Y. (End Of Year) Assessment

In retrospect, it wasn't all that bad. Ha ha.

In my hands and power to make 2006 incredibly awesome.


1) Finish the framing of kids' pictures and artwork that I started back in, uhm, 2002!

2) Get back to my painting in a serious way-- have a show/reading-- "Paintings, Prose and Poetics" --by the end of the year. I have this cool coffeehouse/gallery in my hometown that I'm going to "convince" to host it.

3) Go to Crockett, Texas, and get the information I need to finish a novel-in-stories

4) Get to Africa

5) read more books!!

Ever have an utterly delicious day?

That was today, even if it was f*****g hot outside.

This next year I MOVE

I need to move from here. I am a fern not a cactus. I thought I wanted to go to St. Louis but that was a second choice made 'cause I didn't see how I could make NY happen.

So the Northeast is the place I want to live. Maryland is gorgeous and I do love NY, but the three choices came down to 1) Westchester, PA; 2) anyplace in Vermont; and 3) anyplace in Maine.

Vermont has won out and ever since I picked the city, its been popping up or now just I'm noticing it more. (Like when you decide you want a certain car and then everywhere, everyone's driving it, like that)

In January, maybe February, I fly out there and open a bank account so I can start stashing cash away and get a p.o. box. Am very excited 'cause suddenly some things that seemed to have a hold on me here have loosened their grip.


It's 70 degrees outside

so very not winter:(

Monday, December 26, 2005

Hey, Steve, I may not be THAT smart

Steve is a regular at the restaurant. We discuss things literaturely. He read "the Known World" 'cause I recommended it(though he wasn't as crazy about the work as I) and he spent the $18 for a mug with my story on it (though he said the work was more orientated for women, but he still drinks his coffee from it). He suggested I read Jorge Louis Borges but I couldn't get to the library to get a work, so Steve bought me "Ficciones" for x-mas.

I flipped to the story "The Library of Babel," which Steve recommended and wants to discuss. YIKES! YIKES! YIKES!

This is gonna be harder than a Toni Morrison work!

The Man Show Part 2

Uhm, okay. A show to counter all the "women-oriented" works on television, 'cept it plays to the lowest common denominator.

I personally believe men are more intelligent than this show believes its demographic to be. I understand the need for titties but really, fart jokes are sooooooooooooo juvenile.

The Man Show

walked in my youngest son's bedroom and he was watching this.


So this and the fact that he's going to Hooters on his birthday this Saturday says he's not "my little boy" no more :(

"You'll shoot your eye out"

So, how many times did you watch "A Christmas Story"? Twice was my limit.

"Home Alone"-- once is enough though necessary.

"Jumanji"-- on two different channels at the same time. Flipping back and forth between the two just to be nutty.

"It's A Wonderful Life"-- could not find it on any channel. Is it not played during the season? (Am not a huge tv fan so I don't know) will probably have to buy it on DVD, if available, so I can watch whenever. Don't you just love Jimmy Stewart??

Back to the grindstone

It's Monday morning-- already????


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Elton's a married man!

Elton John got hitched over in England. In another lifetime, such an event would have broken my heart.

Well, such an event did when years ago he married a woman on the same Valentine's Day that Eddie ("Two Tickets To Paradise") Money decided to take the plunge as well. Such a black holiday that was to my young heart!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I want you . . . well, maybe I don't. . .

I'm surprised EVERY time a solicited work ends up rejected. Silly, silly me.

In my dream house, in my dream life . . .

I have a gazillion Boston Ferns which are green and lush and flourishing.

In the real world, however, I have killed my last one (sigh).

Monday, December 19, 2005

Your house, yourself

Interesting, interesting. Found this in another blog, so thanks to Didi.

Draw a house

Take the test

Some of the things my drawing said about me felt true, or at least I want them to be true about myself. Some others like "You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible" is waaaaaay wrong.

How 'bout you and your house?

Sunday, December 18, 2005

just random stuff

I've been sick all weekend. Though I'm a writer, I'll spare you the details/descriptions of my various aches and bodily functions. Let's just say it wasn't good.

I HATE being sick. ugh. (What a dumb statement-- like anybody likes being sick? so anyway . . . )


Went bowling last night. Haven't bowled in forever. Gutter ball after gutter ball after gutter ball.


I got my first utility bill since turning on the heat. YIKES! Everybody at my house is gonna take to wearing parkas and scarfs and gloves!

Friday, December 16, 2005

I've decided the sweetest moment in the morning

is when that last kid heads out to meet the school bus.

I've got nothing!

as Joe likes to say.

My world has suddenly taken on a quiet tone.

Lovin' it : )

Thursday, December 15, 2005


There has been an issue in my life, a fundamental one, that I couldn't seem to get past. Life kept giving me situations similar to the original so that I could work through it but I kept running away or missing the opportunity or ignoring the possibility of the lesson.

But since I'm working toward my greatest growth, the issue made its appearance at my job one day and another and then another, frustrating me, 'cause every scheduled work day, I'd stress, wondering if I was going to have to deal with it. Of course at some point , I decided to work with it, started turning it over and examining it 'cause I've wanted nothing more than to be done with it!

Yesterday, it was resolved.

The earth didn't quake and lightening bolts didn't fill the sky. In the middle of the situation, I just "got it;" a quiet understanding (finally) of what I was to claim. I was so ecstatic Eddie thought I was nuts, I'm sure.

Events that repeat themselves are the unconscious' call for healing. Something happened to me in my childhood, that was out of my control. I decided something about myself that was an untruth and life has been trying to move me away from that lie and to MY truth. Every situation following was then, of course, a metaphor. Yesterday, I had the chance to voice what I couldn't say before and then boom, there-- it's all taken care of.


Another bit of peace in my life-- sweet, sweet, sweet.

Up 'til 2

eating pancakes at Village Inn with Eddie.

Did not work on story at all.

Daughter's concert was wonderful.

I'm sleeping 'til it's time for work.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Oh, come on

What's with those popcorn-in-the-tin manufacturers this year??? I try to buy a tin every year if I can 'cause I collect them.

I've been to several stores lately, but I can't find one that's so absolutely cute that I have to have it. Saw only one with bears on it and it wasn't THE ONE.

Maybe it's a sign from Life that I should forgo a tin and buy that margarita kit instead;-)

marathon day & night

I have to work this morning, attend another student concert this evening and then stay up all night finishing my next contest entry.

It will be a loooooooooooooong day and night. Have until 6 p.m. tomorrow to get the postmark and where the heck am I gonna come up with the $10 entry fee???

Okay, one thing at a time. Let me get the story DONE before I fret the other stuff.

Up late baking cookies

After my daughter's choir concert, we went to the grocery store for stuff to make more cookies.

(My kids couldn't believe how quickly the last batch went--HA!)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

No spanking for me

I've been a very, very good girl today. Three works out to three magazines.

I can go play now, right?

I guess I wasn't invited

to T.O.'s birthday bash 'cause I called him an ass in an earlier post?

Guess I'll withhold the $5 million gift I was gonna give him;-)


I ate the last of the holiday cookies we baked last night.


don't tell my kids

but, where is it written that a really good mom gives up that LAST one?

I have only one goal for today (anything else I do will be bonuses)

Get three very short pieces I've been tinkering with done and in the mail (yes, Bookworm kept me from finishing that work the other day)

Okay, this HAS GOT TO BE metaphorical

I received a booklet from the one of the hospitals in town. It said that they heard I was "expecting" and wanted to offer me their services. The booklet was about their birthing rooms and such.

???????? (though the pictures of the babies were adorable)


ha ha ha ha ha-- am I on some wrong mailing list!

Later I thought about it in a different way and I realized that I am expectant at this time.

I'm looking forward to being with a man in intimate ways and creating something amazing, birthing a love nothing short of miraculous.

Monday, December 12, 2005

I think Arnold will say "no"

to Tookie Williams' request for clemency.

Political reasons, you understand Mr. Williams. Perhaps yours is a story of redemption, but I've got a career to think about. This is California, you know, and certain things have to be calculated so that one's career moves ahead. Nothing personal, you understand. Not at all.

I was, you remember,the terminator.


How can Dec. 15th be just around the corner???

My latest contest submission isn't even close to being ready.


Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Official Burlesque Reading Schedule (D.C.)

Lolita & Gilda's Burlesque Poetry Hour
Poets taking it off (the last Monday of every month at Bar Rouge in Dupont Circle)

(** Rules are you gotta take *something* off after you read)

2006 Reading Schedule
January 30
Kim Addonizio, Deborah Landau, Matthew Zapruder

February 27
Bruce Covey, David McAleavey, Kim Roberts

March 27
Michael Ball, Gina Myers, Henry Israeli

April 24 - An All Girl Affair!
Amy King, Lauren Bender, Heidi Lynn Staples

May 29 - Boys Nite, aka Sausage Party
Anthony Robinson, Dan Nester, Karl Parker

June 26
Ken Rumble, Fred Pollack, Evie Shockley

July 31
Sandra Beasley, Josh Corey, TBA

August 28
Natalie Illum, Michael Schiavo, TBA

September 25 - FOURSOME!
Gwendolyn Mintz, Emily Lloyd, Moira Egan, Jeffrey Levine

October and November readers to be announced later

Wishing Richard Pryor


Change o' plans

I hadn't been feeling a writing vibe for awhile. Perfect timing 'cause I could spend my time making bears and get some extra money during this season. I've been doing that. But now suddenly my writer side wants to make a reappearance.

A new story days ago. A novella I'd outline 20 years ago crystallizes and starts writing itself yesterday. This morning, while brushing my teeth, lines for a piece I'd given up on revising for awhile start popping in my head. I'm running down the hall, while foaming at the mouth, to my desk so I can write them down before I forget.

That work will go out today [but not until after I've played Bookworm ;-) ]

So I'm a writer now (again).

Coincidence? I think not.

I needed one bookshelf to have all needed for the family room. It was on sale at Office Max, but I was not going to have the money to get it.

I'd been envisioning the bookcase in the place it was to go and I was so ready to get the books, pictures, knick-knacks up off the floor and into it. I felt frustrated that I was going to have to wait longer. It didn't feel -- I won't say fair, 'cause I've learned not to expect "fairness" in life; you get what you get, learn to play the hand you're dealt the best you can-- but it didn't feel "something" along that line.

So Friday, my daughter needed chicken for a class dinner and I decided I'd rather have KFC deal with the grease and all. She needed it at a certain time -- an hour before I had to go to work. KFC is across from the bank and the restaurant where I work is just across the street. The high school is just down from them all.

The plan was to go get the chicken, take it to the school and then loiter at my job. KFC was busy so I decided to go drop my things off at work and go back. When I got to the restaurant, a waitress had an emergency situation and had to leave. She wanted me to stay for her.

As long as she'd go get the chicken and deliver it to the high school office, I told her I would.


I was hoping to make just enough to get the shelf. I did + the part of the rent I didn't have AND enough to order pizza.

Life is good.

my addiction grows

I love the computer game "Bookworm"-- it's like scrabble.

I have this thing for words(I used to read the dictionary for fun, I won the spelling bee when I was in 4th grade and I used to hug spelling books like old friends), so easy to see how this game where you assemble words could be a fav.

I've been playing for months but was unable to get past the "supreme archivist" level. Yesterday though I DID IT!

Two levels higher-- never heard the titles before (don't even remember them) just remember the excitement of finally moving up.

And yes, I'm off to play it again in a bit : )
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are"
~~Joseph Campbell
"You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can decide how you're going to live now"
~~ Joan Baez
"It is never too late to be what you might have been"

~~George Eliot

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Ludwig probably didn't have syphilis

If so, unusual amounts of mercury would have been present in the hair sampling from Beethoven's head, as mercury was used for that STD at that time.

Instead, it appears one of the world's greatest composers died, not of mercury but lead poisoning.


Friday, December 09, 2005

You're killing me!!!!

Logistics. Ugh. I'm working on two stories that excite me 'cause they are so unlike what I've allowed myself to write, but timing is everything in both stories and it's killing me.

In one story I need a certain practice to happen years before it really did, I need a man ( a real person who is pivotal to the work) to die 10 years before he actually did and I need a certain performer at a place where he wasn't at that particular time-- all so I can create this one moment in the work--HA! I'd have to be a real kick-ass writer to pull that kind of "suspending belief."

But in a way I'm thankful for the problems. Makes me dig deeper, work more.

Maybe this is the story. . . or this. . .

Cool to be engaged in the process at another level. To allow myself the thrill of discovery and not just stubbornly work with what I believed to be the story.

reading in Atlanta

A much closer possibility!! A detail or two, maybe three, that needs to be taken care of and I'm there!

Okay, in stone: in April, I'm reading in my hometown; in September, I'm in Washington D.C.; I'm in Illnois at some point.

If Atlanta happens, I've only got eight months to work on. Still gonna try for the Miami Book Festival 'cause I loved Miami. January is just around the corner. Maybe too close to try? We'll see.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

I'm a woman so I can . . .

change my mind.

Gonna play hookie. No writing for me today. (yes, again)

There is very good reason that the "Procrastinator's Creed " is by my desk.

Later : ) & have a grand day!

Bears, bears, bears

I am in love with this stuffed teddy bear by Gund named Timber. I hid him at the store 'til I've got the money to get him.

Hope he stays "hibernated" 'til then.

So, yesterday, I wrote a new story

Finally, and it felt good. Maybe today I'll do another one;-)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


This book is a definite buy. Read this and try not to want more:

It's okay, Ernie

Just read this at a website:

"When I don't write, I feel like shit"-- Ernest Hemingway

getting there

So, earlier, I wrote that I was trying to do three things-- write a novel, get my house in order, and manifest the love of my life.

Well, the novel is a bust. Not that I care. Other people want me to write a novel; I'm quite happy churning out stories, thank you.

Called Goodwill again. Cleared out the storage room attached to my house, but I've got another 10' x 10' rental that I've got to clear out. By year's end. The house is getting in order, yes. Made myself throw away things. And bookshelves are on sale this week. Down to just one needed for the family room.

The love of my life -- have decided a date by which time I will be in contact with him. A friend expressed some skepticism, but an article I read said to set a date and work toward it. Makes sense. If you have a guest coming on a certain date, you prepare yourself for that, right? When I went to read in Miami, I knew I had to be there on a certain date and I had to be ready so I did the things I needed to do to make sure that event happened-- same difference.

I have since engraved that date on my heart. Between then and now, I am preparing myself-- making the place for him in my life, my heart, my bed (as another article suggested -- uhm, hell, yeah!)

I'm all giddy and curious (are you him? I'll smile at you, just in case). Working with doubts-- letting go of fears--recognizing what wonderful gifts I can bring to a relationship.

This morning, the Daily OM is on partnerships -- I like this, from that the article:

"If we have the courage to recognize our reflections in each other, we can grow through our partnerships. A partnership that offers both acceptance of who we are and an opportunity for personal transformation can be fertile ground for growing a healthy, lasting union. When we find this kind of partnership, we are more likely to want to keep it, invest in it, and nurture it.

Life is a collaborative effort. Much of what we do can be enhanced through partnership. Together we are stronger because our personal power is multiplied by two. Through partnership we experience the joys of working, living, and loving together."

That's what I want to create.

But there's got to be a starting place so I am turning up the amp on the things men compliment me on--I like hearing that I'm hot, that I'm sweet and that I'm warm. I've pulled out the booty jeans, I'm demonstrating my caring by my actions more often than I already do, and rather than judge people who cross my path and annoy me (hey, I try hard to be a good person, but I'm human still) , I'm working on compassion-- that we are all doing the best we can, given the circumstances.

Growing. And that's what a relationship should support, even one that's still in my imaginings;-) No matter!

He's on his way and as long as he doesn't show up AT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH, I'm good to go.

crunching through the brittle leaves

cable sweaters
found pecans on the ground
hot chocolate with whipped cream, chocolate syrup and candy sprinkles

what I love about Fall.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Living within the metaphor

I was talking to Nena last night and I found myself overexplaining my belief in myth and metaphor. I hate when I do that.

Myth and metaphor are powerful agents in one's life or could be if one allows it.

I like this, that Joseph Campbell said about it:

" . . . mythology is not a lie, mythology is poetry, it is metaphorical. It has been well said that mythology is the penultimate truth - penultimate because the ultimate cannot be be put into words. It is beyond words, beyond images, beyond the bounding rim of the Buddhist Wheel of Becoming. Mythology pitches the mind beyond that rim, to what can be known but not told. So this is the penultimate truth.

It's important to live life with the experience, and therefore the knowledge, of its mystery and your own mystery. This gives life a new radiance, a new harmony, a new splendor. Thinking in mythological terms helps to put you in accord with the inevitables of this vale of tears. You learn to recognize the positive values in what appear to be negative moments and aspects of your life. The big question is whether you are going to be say a hearty yes to your adventure. . .

the adventure of the hero - the adventure of being alive."

28 days to get my sh** , er, stuff together

I can't believe another year is coming to a close!!! 2006 already??? Just yesterday it was December 1999 and we were all stockpiling goods and wondering if all the world's computers would crash;-) My, how time flies!

Okay, what a year this has been and man, how Life asked me to stretch to accomodate it all. Faced things I never thought I'd be facing but done, and I'm stronger and wiser for it all.

I want to spend the rest of this month doing some things I've told others I'd do. I owe the Universe and can't get any more credit 'til I pay off some of these past debts.

I took the kitten Sara needed to find a home for

"Can I get a puppy?" my son Joshua asked.


"You got a kitten."

"I'm gonna take care of it, and I pay the rent."

"Can I get a puppy?"


"Can I get a puppy?"

"You've got Copper."

"She's your dog."

I reminded him that he'd found her and convinced me to keep her.

"Can I get a puppy?"


"I'm getting a puppy," Joshua told his twin sister, Kara, as she walked into the kitchen.

"How come he gets a puppy?" Kara demanded to know. "You won't let me get a puppy."

"He's not getting a puppy."

"You have a cat," Joshua told Kara.

"I'll get rid of it."

""That's mean," my son said,

"I'll get rid of you too," Kara told him.

"Can I have a puppy?" Joshua asked.

"Can I have one too?" Kara added.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

NY op-ed

Very funny about Goodnight Moon
"My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting others, and comforting those that are sad."
-- Olive Schreiner
Gamble everything for love.
If you are a true human being.
If not, leave this gathering.
Half-heartedness doesn't reach into majesty.
You set out to find God, but then you keep
stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses.
Don't wait any longer. Dive in the ocean, leave and let the
sea be you. Silent, absent, walking an empty road, all praise.

~~ Rumi

Friday, December 02, 2005


There is a lesson I'm refusing to learn or maybe the thought of it's too painful for me to really deal with, but I'm right smack in a place that I don't want to be AGAIN!

I so want resolution, and there are people who know what I'm struggling with and they want to help me get to the place that I want to be at, but I'm resistant.

It's not that I'm afraid to say "hello" to something new. It's that it's just hard to say goodbye to the so much other.

The music these days

really too sexy for kids to listen to (Pretty Ricky's "Grind With Me" is playing in my ear), but it makes me want to get up and strip.

Just thought I'd share that with you;-)

Yesterday was also

the anniversary date of the Montgomery boycott.

A story in USA Today dealt with four people who helped shape the conditions so that Rosa Parks could do what she did.

One was Claudette Colvin, who nine months before Mrs. Parks, refused to give up her seat. She was arrested and the NAACP and other black activists were ready to use her case, but Colvin was rumored to be pregnant (she denies this--although she did have a child the next year, around 16, 17 years old) and she was said to cuss and throw angry fits.

In the news story, Colvin says that she believes her case was not the case chosen 'cause she was a dark-skinned black and Mrs. Parks was not.

Maybe so, but I also think it has to do with character.

When Branch Rickey went looking for someone to integrate major league baseball, he went looking for someone with character, someone able and willing to carry a huge burden-- I really think Satchel should have been the first black major league player, but again his lifestyle. . .

I hope Colvin doesn't die bitter or angry; her part in history was to be a minor one, but really it was no less important.


was the World's AIDS day. I didn't hear too much on it on a local level-- I forgot to ask my children if the schools did anything, but I doubt it 'cause I probably would've had to sign for them to get the information--and that frustrates me.

It's reached epidemic levels.

Although I understand why some are hedging-- I mean it's a disease that wipes out the undesirables, so what does it matter?

My latest pubs

Per Contra

or if you're only interested in my work (hee hee):

me me me me me

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Two things I'm not proud to admit about myself

1) I once believed Richard M. Nixon was innocent of it all.

2) I once had a crush on Rush Limbaugh.

'Cause she used to date Jerry Brown

My daughter attends a charter school, a bilingual one, and she's in the mariachi. She plays guitar and the violla (sp?).

There was a conference/program recently and Linda Ronstadt came to perform.

I asked my daughter if she'd met her and Kara replied, "Why would I want to meet that old lady?"

His laughter

will be the song my heart dances to ~~


Joe, I mean.

Well, he wouldn't have entered the contest on the very last day.


I was going to enter a contest and got everything prepared (and a month ahead of the deadline); I just needed to mail it. I set the envelope on the desk shelf for stuff going out, but forgot about it until yesterday, November 30, the deadline.

I had two stamps, a 23 and a 37 cent, no money and the child support hadn't been posted at the bank so I tried to bum a buck off Joe.

I questioned if the deadline was a postmark or "be there" deadline and momentarily pondered if I should just shuck the whole thing.

Joe thought that I should go that route. (Maybe he didn't want to give me the buck)

I entered it though.

I hope that my entry will be considered, that the organization just won't take my entry fee and toss my work.

Maybe I should've listened to Joe.