Quote for 12/21/2009

No matter how far a stream flows, it never forgets its source.

-- Aham

I need to be writing

and not blog posts. Later.

When I walked into the bar and saw all those people wearing Titans regalia

I thought: There is money in football.

I can't dress my bears in licensed stuff but I can buy material with team names/logos and use it. I've sold several Steelers bears.

When I go to Jo-Anne's, I'm gonna see what material's available though I'd be hardpressed to do a bear for the Dallas Cowboys.

I'm not gonna say you couldn't pay me to make one, you could, but oh, the price you'd pay. . .

that's why they're the Pittsburgh Steelers

Last seconds, last play -- Mike Wallace keeps his feet in the endzone and the ball in his hands.

37-36

*that* was so amazing

today I get organized

really. When I moved out of the apt. I put stuff in a storage unit and some misc. books and other in my locker at work. I kept saying that before the end of the semester, I was going to get that stuff out of the locker and into the storage unit. Take my dirty work shirts and wash them. Man, if it isn't already the end of the semester and I've still got to do that.

Move stuff from my work locker to the storage unit. Get the dirty clothes from the storage unit and take them to where I'm staying. Wash all the dirty clothes.

Take that bag of books and other misc. to the storage unit.

Take library books from work locker across the street to the library 'cause they're probably overdue anyway.

Quote for 12-20-09

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.


--From "The Notebook"

I like Christmas time

prices like no other. Scratch the panini grill off my wish list 'cause there's one on sale!

A couple of things I do this time of year, but I haven't got them done (though one I possibly said I wasn't going to do anymore.)

There are these cookies I love that are available only at Christmas. When I worked at Target, I bought boxes and boxes and boxes of them 'cause I got a discount. I was eating Christmas cookies well into March, heh heh. Gonna go in search of them tomorrow.

The other thing, the one I should probably let go, is moose hunting. I know I saw a pattern for one when I was at Jo-Anne's or Hobby Lobby so maybe I'll make my own this year or maybe I'll just stop 'cause I've got several -- not nearly as many bears I own (you don't want to khow how many I've bought since I've been here) and maybe that is just okay, Gwendolyn.

Quote for 12-19-09

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.


--Johannes A. Gaertner

I gotta go write

A contest deadline tomorrow -- it was extended from a previous one and this time I am so much closer to finishing the work I wanted to enter.

Yes Pierre I am much warmer

this man at my job was concerned that I'd only have that sweater come winter.
But yes Pierre, I now have a coat.

A hot shower

Standing under the running water, waiting to start bawling, but there were no tears. Only enlightenment.

Did I say this was the worst year of my life? Let me rephrase that-- this has been the year I have grown in ways that I didn't forsee, I have seen myself act with acceptance and grace in the face of heartbreak, I have been reminded of how dear my children are to me and how much they have brought to my life, I have met people who have helped me and in one instance, I had someone cutting me some slack so a dream of mine could be fulfilled, though it was for naught-- but still no one had to extend themselves to me and here I've found individuals who have given and given and given to me and on my behalf.

I have learned that I need to take much better care of my health, not take it for granted 'cause I know what I stand to lose. (Next week, I'm back to jogging, well walking first and then it's running, running, running)

This has been the best year of my life because I have learned gratitude.

Man, it's a wonder that washing your hair and shaving your legs can bring such clarity.

(and I have a place in Vermont!)

But there's probably two feet of snow in Vermont

that's what Marc told me. And the house has SIX---------66666666666666666--------- bedrooms.

Break my heart

that's what I thought when I looked out the window this morning. Heard that last line from the Eagle's "Heartache Tonight" so clearly. For days there has been talk of snow. Saturday, it's supposed to, for sure, someone told me. But it was just wet.

(pouting)

Quote for 12-17-09

I need to know, yes it's okay
Can I hurdle this storm, yes but only together
With God in our hearts, the only way
Somehow,things will work out just you
Wait and see

But right now it hurts so bad
And feels so bad
But tomorrow waits with laughter
If we endure the tears then joy comes after

--from "It's Okay" by Bebe and Cece Winans

let up off me --please!!!!!!!

Now I find out my oldest son has to have some kind of heart surgery, which the doctor said is quick and uncomplicated but it's still surgery.

And that's my baby.

My other children hate to hear me say it (though my son with the kids understands 'cause he's said the same thing) -- there's just something about your first child that's so special.

We're almost there

Found a scanner so I can post some images/photos I've been meaning too. That I think is pretty much the 'almost to the last' thing I'll be doing here at this blog.

Man this month is going fast. But, okay, now to find those photos. . .

I can't prove it but still

I think 4/5 times that I've queried an editor with a "you've had my story since [insert time frame, usually three to four months, sometimes five, one time six(!)] are you going to use it?" the answer comes back "no."

Should I not have asked?

No matter. I wrote a flash today. Have plans to finish a longer story tonight.

And no Mr. Editor, I won't sending either to you.

Quote for 12-16-09

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

--William Allen White

I gotta go write and bum around

Have worked nine days straight-- a day off and I've got some works aching for my attention.

And I want to go lie down, do nothing but dream of what 2010 and even later may hold for me. A rough year, but you can always turn manure into fertilizer and I'm quite a gardener:)

The more I talk to him, the more in love I am

Was talking to the guy with the house in Vermont and I was mentioning my plans to have a "bear room," a "writing room" and a room to paint in and he said, "Oh you'll want to paint in the front room." I asked him why and he said 'cause the house has landscape windows and one can see Mt. something.

Five bedrooms, three baths, hardwood floors, two stories and a view of the mountains!

If only I could get those kids to move east. No matter. A year or so and I'm free to migrate to Vermont, to a place that sounds like everything I want. And it's affordable, under a grand a month.

Man I am so in love with this place and I haven't even seen it!

uhm grrr

Trying to contact some people about a job where I'm heading, where I was supposed to go earlier this year before I got distracted. Was excited 'cause I've got a list of contacts but dang it, nobody's picking up. Leave a message, oh sure, but you couldn't call me back. Okay, yes, I'm sometimes my own worse enemy.

The homefront options look good. Another list of calls to make. Unfortunately the $49 move-in special is long gone. But whatever.

You just have to decide -- the way will open up to you. I know that to be truth.

Quote for 12/10/09

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.

-- Bernice Johnson Reagon

misc writing stuff

My story "getting Paid" was one of the eight contenders for the most recent Glass Woman prize. There were over 470 entries so I'm quite proud of that.

My story "Claim" will be in the anthology "Hint Fiction" along with Joyce Carol Oates! Here's the official lineup:


Jenn Alandy, Nick Arvin, Samuel Baldwin, Max Barry, Kirsten Beachy, L.R. Bonehill, Ryan W. Bradley, Gary A. Braunbeck, William Brazill, Yvonne Brockwell, Jeremy D. Brooks, Randall Brown, Ken Bruen, Stace Budzko, James Burt, Frank Byrns, Jonathan Carroll, John Cashman, Adam-Troy Castro, Douglas Clegg, Danielle Combs, Chris Compson, John Connors, Hannah Craig, Brian Crawford, Blake Crouch, Kirk Curnutt, Tara Deal, Gay Degani, Stephen Dunn, Nicole Duson, Stuart Dybek, David Erlewine, Camille Esses, Merrilee Faber, Nada Faris, Jamie Felton, James Frey, Janet E. Gardner, Roxane Gay, Shanna Germain, Tess Gerritsen, Bill Graffius, Charles Gramlich,Val Gryphin, Jane Hammons, Ann Harleman, Bruce Harris, Donora Hillard, Rachel Lopez Hohenshell, Robin Hollis, Kevin Hosey, Eric Hsu, Gregg Hurwitz, Ben Jahn, Ha Jin, Jason Jordan, David Joseph, Michael Kelly, Jack Ketchum, Jack Kilborn, J.A. Konrath, Christina Kopp, Minter Krotzer, Joe Lansdale, Don Lee, Min Jin Lee, Sarah Lyons, K. J. Maas, Nick Mamatas, Lewis Manalo, Marshall Ryan Maresca, Michael Martone, Natalie McNabb, David Miller, Sarah P. Miller, Ty Miller, John Minichillo, Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz, Christoffer Molnar, Madeline Mora-Summonte, Rose Rappoport Moss, Barry Napier, Joyce Carol Oates, Brendan O’Brien, Daniel A. Olivas, Will Panzo, Edith Pearlman, Benjamin Percy, Sophie Playle, Jason Rice, Katrina Robinson, Jess Row, Robin Rozanski, Kathleen A. Ryan, Marcus Sakey, Joe Schreiber, Jessa Slade, Noel Sloboda, Andrea Slye, Jenn Sober, Kelly Spitzer, Agnieszka Stachura, J. J. Steinfeld, Peter Straub, Jake Thomas, Bob Thurber, Jade Walker, Ben White, Amber Whitley, Sue Williams, F. Paul Wilson, Robley Wilson, Mercedes M. Yardley, Mabel Yu, J. Matthew Zoss



Various stories published in various places-> links to the side


A possible reading -- Pop culture, Warhol and the whole 15 minutes thing-- we'll see

I'm going to be the featured poet in Long Story Short (thanks Russell) in a year from now.

I'm guest blogging in July at THE MOM EGG

I got 2 flu shots yesterday

One arm is really sore and it doesn't make me feel any better to look at the bandage with Bugs Bunny (I am not a fan) smiling up at me, like he knows it hurts.

He's evil like that.

Did ANYTHING GOOD happen for you Gwendolyn in 2009?

Yeah.

I'll be getting to that.

my third grandchild

not to be. . . that baby was lost to a miscarriage.

that brought me great sorrow

I was hoping I could wait it out

but brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no it is just too cold.
I have a peppered-colored pea coat with wood toggles and a gorgeous brown trench coat (I got that last year) and this faux leather black jacket and various sweaters of various colors and lengths and thicknesses but they are all in New Mexico.

and I am not!

A jacket tomorrow! (teeth chattering) Most definitely.

Quote for 12/09/09

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.

--Desmond Tutu

I was out having breakfast the other day and "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn came on. (Don't know it? Head to youtube) Anyway, it made me think of my grandmother who died in December and I started crying.

Damn.

I thought about leaving but I didn't want to waste my french toast stix and the eggs (my cholestrol level is excellent so why not) or the bacon (a treat- I've been real good about taking the blood pressure medicine) but I could not get a grip and stop the bawling.

I miss my kids, my grandkids. I'm worried about my parents and I wonder how long before I see them again.

I feel so out of place here-- have no idea why I thought I could do this (okay, that's a lie- I know why but was it reason enough Gwendolyn?) I don't regret anything but on the other hand I do. This place is not where I belong or want to be.

Days now, crying on and off like I'm a baby -- man, it is so time to go home.

you cannot use stories that are reprinted to establish eligibility for a National Endowment of the Arts fellowship

learned that the hard way.

No wonder he didn't win any Majors in 2009

The boy had to be f***ing exhausted!

Quote for 12/07/09

Change always comes bearing gifts.

--Price Pritchett

and a house in Vermont

not in the town where I want to live but close enough and considering this just kinda fell into my lap, I'm just gonna take it as a gift that I should be grateful for receiving.

My children are ADAMENT about not moving so it may not be until this time next year that I can take over the place but that's okay.

I've got a place.

In Vermont.

:)


and the man to whom the house belongs used to work for someone who pitched an idea to the Vermont Teddy Bear Company which they declined but my biz could accommodate.
!!!!!!!

"I'll put you in contact with him, Gwen," Marc said.

I think I've turned the corner on the worst year of my life.

Reading in New York City next year

YAY!!!!!!!!

Maybe I'll get through Central Park this time.

Quote for 12/05/2009

Knowing love, I will allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and take everything that comes with great courage. As Rasa would say, Life is Right in any case. My heart is as open as the sky.

-- from "Kama Sutra"

heading to goodbye

so I've come back to this blog to wrap some things up/ share some stuff I've been meaning to and then I'm done.

At least here. I'm thinking I'm gonna be like Reb and reemerge at another blog/maybe not.

We'll just see when the new year starts and this blog ends.

my buddy Bill

Et tu, Tiger?

damn.

Long time. Been busy having the worst year of my life. Seriously. So many things did not work out as I planned. So stressed my 2nd to last blood pressure reading was 263/145. Uhm okay Gwendolyn maybe it's time to take some deep breaths.

Or make some life changes.

Something, you think?