Monday, December 21, 2009

Quote for 12/21/2009

No matter how far a stream flows, it never forgets its source.

-- Aham

I need to be writing

and not blog posts. Later.

When I walked into the bar and saw all those people wearing Titans regalia

I thought: There is money in football.

I can't dress my bears in licensed stuff but I can buy material with team names/logos and use it. I've sold several Steelers bears.

When I go to Jo-Anne's, I'm gonna see what material's available though I'd be hardpressed to do a bear for the Dallas Cowboys.

I'm not gonna say you couldn't pay me to make one, you could, but oh, the price you'd pay. . .

that's why they're the Pittsburgh Steelers

Last seconds, last play -- Mike Wallace keeps his feet in the endzone and the ball in his hands.

37-36

*that* was so amazing

today I get organized

really. When I moved out of the apt. I put stuff in a storage unit and some misc. books and other in my locker at work. I kept saying that before the end of the semester, I was going to get that stuff out of the locker and into the storage unit. Take my dirty work shirts and wash them. Man, if it isn't already the end of the semester and I've still got to do that.

Move stuff from my work locker to the storage unit. Get the dirty clothes from the storage unit and take them to where I'm staying. Wash all the dirty clothes.

Take that bag of books and other misc. to the storage unit.

Take library books from work locker across the street to the library 'cause they're probably overdue anyway.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Quote for 12-20-09

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.


--From "The Notebook"

I like Christmas time

prices like no other. Scratch the panini grill off my wish list 'cause there's one on sale!

A couple of things I do this time of year, but I haven't got them done (though one I possibly said I wasn't going to do anymore.)

There are these cookies I love that are available only at Christmas. When I worked at Target, I bought boxes and boxes and boxes of them 'cause I got a discount. I was eating Christmas cookies well into March, heh heh. Gonna go in search of them tomorrow.

The other thing, the one I should probably let go, is moose hunting. I know I saw a pattern for one when I was at Jo-Anne's or Hobby Lobby so maybe I'll make my own this year or maybe I'll just stop 'cause I've got several -- not nearly as many bears I own (you don't want to khow how many I've bought since I've been here) and maybe that is just okay, Gwendolyn.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Quote for 12-19-09

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.


--Johannes A. Gaertner

I gotta go write

A contest deadline tomorrow -- it was extended from a previous one and this time I am so much closer to finishing the work I wanted to enter.

Yes Pierre I am much warmer

this man at my job was concerned that I'd only have that sweater come winter.
But yes Pierre, I now have a coat.

A hot shower

Standing under the running water, waiting to start bawling, but there were no tears. Only enlightenment.

Did I say this was the worst year of my life? Let me rephrase that-- this has been the year I have grown in ways that I didn't forsee, I have seen myself act with acceptance and grace in the face of heartbreak, I have been reminded of how dear my children are to me and how much they have brought to my life, I have met people who have helped me and in one instance, I had someone cutting me some slack so a dream of mine could be fulfilled, though it was for naught-- but still no one had to extend themselves to me and here I've found individuals who have given and given and given to me and on my behalf.

I have learned that I need to take much better care of my health, not take it for granted 'cause I know what I stand to lose. (Next week, I'm back to jogging, well walking first and then it's running, running, running)

This has been the best year of my life because I have learned gratitude.

Man, it's a wonder that washing your hair and shaving your legs can bring such clarity.

(and I have a place in Vermont!)

But there's probably two feet of snow in Vermont

that's what Marc told me. And the house has SIX---------66666666666666666--------- bedrooms.

Break my heart

that's what I thought when I looked out the window this morning. Heard that last line from the Eagle's "Heartache Tonight" so clearly. For days there has been talk of snow. Saturday, it's supposed to, for sure, someone told me. But it was just wet.

(pouting)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Quote for 12-17-09

I need to know, yes it's okay
Can I hurdle this storm, yes but only together
With God in our hearts, the only way
Somehow,things will work out just you
Wait and see

But right now it hurts so bad
And feels so bad
But tomorrow waits with laughter
If we endure the tears then joy comes after

--from "It's Okay" by Bebe and Cece Winans

let up off me --please!!!!!!!

Now I find out my oldest son has to have some kind of heart surgery, which the doctor said is quick and uncomplicated but it's still surgery.

And that's my baby.

My other children hate to hear me say it (though my son with the kids understands 'cause he's said the same thing) -- there's just something about your first child that's so special.

We're almost there

Found a scanner so I can post some images/photos I've been meaning too. That I think is pretty much the 'almost to the last' thing I'll be doing here at this blog.

Man this month is going fast. But, okay, now to find those photos. . .

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I can't prove it but still

I think 4/5 times that I've queried an editor with a "you've had my story since [insert time frame, usually three to four months, sometimes five, one time six(!)] are you going to use it?" the answer comes back "no."

Should I not have asked?

No matter. I wrote a flash today. Have plans to finish a longer story tonight.

And no Mr. Editor, I won't sending either to you.

Quote for 12-16-09

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

--William Allen White

I gotta go write and bum around

Have worked nine days straight-- a day off and I've got some works aching for my attention.

And I want to go lie down, do nothing but dream of what 2010 and even later may hold for me. A rough year, but you can always turn manure into fertilizer and I'm quite a gardener:)

The more I talk to him, the more in love I am

Was talking to the guy with the house in Vermont and I was mentioning my plans to have a "bear room," a "writing room" and a room to paint in and he said, "Oh you'll want to paint in the front room." I asked him why and he said 'cause the house has landscape windows and one can see Mt. something.

Five bedrooms, three baths, hardwood floors, two stories and a view of the mountains!

If only I could get those kids to move east. No matter. A year or so and I'm free to migrate to Vermont, to a place that sounds like everything I want. And it's affordable, under a grand a month.

Man I am so in love with this place and I haven't even seen it!

uhm grrr

Trying to contact some people about a job where I'm heading, where I was supposed to go earlier this year before I got distracted. Was excited 'cause I've got a list of contacts but dang it, nobody's picking up. Leave a message, oh sure, but you couldn't call me back. Okay, yes, I'm sometimes my own worse enemy.

The homefront options look good. Another list of calls to make. Unfortunately the $49 move-in special is long gone. But whatever.

You just have to decide -- the way will open up to you. I know that to be truth.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Quote for 12/10/09

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.

-- Bernice Johnson Reagon

misc writing stuff

My story "getting Paid" was one of the eight contenders for the most recent Glass Woman prize. There were over 470 entries so I'm quite proud of that.

My story "Claim" will be in the anthology "Hint Fiction" along with Joyce Carol Oates! Here's the official lineup:


Jenn Alandy, Nick Arvin, Samuel Baldwin, Max Barry, Kirsten Beachy, L.R. Bonehill, Ryan W. Bradley, Gary A. Braunbeck, William Brazill, Yvonne Brockwell, Jeremy D. Brooks, Randall Brown, Ken Bruen, Stace Budzko, James Burt, Frank Byrns, Jonathan Carroll, John Cashman, Adam-Troy Castro, Douglas Clegg, Danielle Combs, Chris Compson, John Connors, Hannah Craig, Brian Crawford, Blake Crouch, Kirk Curnutt, Tara Deal, Gay Degani, Stephen Dunn, Nicole Duson, Stuart Dybek, David Erlewine, Camille Esses, Merrilee Faber, Nada Faris, Jamie Felton, James Frey, Janet E. Gardner, Roxane Gay, Shanna Germain, Tess Gerritsen, Bill Graffius, Charles Gramlich,Val Gryphin, Jane Hammons, Ann Harleman, Bruce Harris, Donora Hillard, Rachel Lopez Hohenshell, Robin Hollis, Kevin Hosey, Eric Hsu, Gregg Hurwitz, Ben Jahn, Ha Jin, Jason Jordan, David Joseph, Michael Kelly, Jack Ketchum, Jack Kilborn, J.A. Konrath, Christina Kopp, Minter Krotzer, Joe Lansdale, Don Lee, Min Jin Lee, Sarah Lyons, K. J. Maas, Nick Mamatas, Lewis Manalo, Marshall Ryan Maresca, Michael Martone, Natalie McNabb, David Miller, Sarah P. Miller, Ty Miller, John Minichillo, Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz, Christoffer Molnar, Madeline Mora-Summonte, Rose Rappoport Moss, Barry Napier, Joyce Carol Oates, Brendan O’Brien, Daniel A. Olivas, Will Panzo, Edith Pearlman, Benjamin Percy, Sophie Playle, Jason Rice, Katrina Robinson, Jess Row, Robin Rozanski, Kathleen A. Ryan, Marcus Sakey, Joe Schreiber, Jessa Slade, Noel Sloboda, Andrea Slye, Jenn Sober, Kelly Spitzer, Agnieszka Stachura, J. J. Steinfeld, Peter Straub, Jake Thomas, Bob Thurber, Jade Walker, Ben White, Amber Whitley, Sue Williams, F. Paul Wilson, Robley Wilson, Mercedes M. Yardley, Mabel Yu, J. Matthew Zoss



Various stories published in various places-> links to the side


A possible reading -- Pop culture, Warhol and the whole 15 minutes thing-- we'll see

I'm going to be the featured poet in Long Story Short (thanks Russell) in a year from now.

I'm guest blogging in July at THE MOM EGG

I got 2 flu shots yesterday

One arm is really sore and it doesn't make me feel any better to look at the bandage with Bugs Bunny (I am not a fan) smiling up at me, like he knows it hurts.

He's evil like that.

Did ANYTHING GOOD happen for you Gwendolyn in 2009?

Yeah.

I'll be getting to that.

my third grandchild

not to be. . . that baby was lost to a miscarriage.

that brought me great sorrow

I was hoping I could wait it out

but brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no it is just too cold.
I have a peppered-colored pea coat with wood toggles and a gorgeous brown trench coat (I got that last year) and this faux leather black jacket and various sweaters of various colors and lengths and thicknesses but they are all in New Mexico.

and I am not!

A jacket tomorrow! (teeth chattering) Most definitely.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Quote for 12/09/09

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.

--Desmond Tutu
I was out having breakfast the other day and "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn came on. (Don't know it? Head to youtube) Anyway, it made me think of my grandmother who died in December and I started crying.

Damn.

I thought about leaving but I didn't want to waste my french toast stix and the eggs (my cholestrol level is excellent so why not) or the bacon (a treat- I've been real good about taking the blood pressure medicine) but I could not get a grip and stop the bawling.

I miss my kids, my grandkids. I'm worried about my parents and I wonder how long before I see them again.

I feel so out of place here-- have no idea why I thought I could do this (okay, that's a lie- I know why but was it reason enough Gwendolyn?) I don't regret anything but on the other hand I do. This place is not where I belong or want to be.

Days now, crying on and off like I'm a baby -- man, it is so time to go home.

you cannot use stories that are reprinted to establish eligibility for a National Endowment of the Arts fellowship

learned that the hard way.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

No wonder he didn't win any Majors in 2009

The boy had to be f***ing exhausted!

Monday, December 07, 2009

Quote for 12/07/09

Change always comes bearing gifts.

--Price Pritchett

and a house in Vermont

not in the town where I want to live but close enough and considering this just kinda fell into my lap, I'm just gonna take it as a gift that I should be grateful for receiving.

My children are ADAMENT about not moving so it may not be until this time next year that I can take over the place but that's okay.

I've got a place.

In Vermont.

:)


and the man to whom the house belongs used to work for someone who pitched an idea to the Vermont Teddy Bear Company which they declined but my biz could accommodate.
!!!!!!!

"I'll put you in contact with him, Gwen," Marc said.

I think I've turned the corner on the worst year of my life.

Reading in New York City next year

YAY!!!!!!!!

Maybe I'll get through Central Park this time.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Quote for 12/05/2009

Knowing love, I will allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and take everything that comes with great courage. As Rasa would say, Life is Right in any case. My heart is as open as the sky.

-- from "Kama Sutra"

heading to goodbye

so I've come back to this blog to wrap some things up/ share some stuff I've been meaning to and then I'm done.

At least here. I'm thinking I'm gonna be like Reb and reemerge at another blog/maybe not.

We'll just see when the new year starts and this blog ends.

my buddy Bill


Et tu, Tiger?

damn.
Long time. Been busy having the worst year of my life. Seriously. So many things did not work out as I planned. So stressed my 2nd to last blood pressure reading was 263/145. Uhm okay Gwendolyn maybe it's time to take some deep breaths.

Or make some life changes.

Something, you think?

Sunday, September 06, 2009

All work and no play

seriously. overtime and then some. but it's temporary and it's funding my future.

would love to talk but uhm, it's time to go there (again).

An acceptance-- Lil' Reverend is upcoming in The Mom Egg and "The Boogeyman" is in the current issue of The Shine Journal. Google, if you're interested.

adios.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Writing quote for 8/23/09

I don't know much about creative writing programs. But they're not telling the truth if they don't teach, one, that writing is hard work, and, two, that you have to give up a great deal of life, your personal life, to be a writer.


--Doris Lessing

Quote for 8/23/09

You're not obligated to win. You're obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day.

-- Marian Wright Edelman

I might as well face reality 'cause I'm thinking it's not gonna happen

. . . getting some of my earlier stuff reprinted 'cause it's not my strongest work. Maybe I should just stop. Get my ego in check. Concentrate my energy on the works I'm currently developing.

Yeah, that's a plan. If nothing else, my rejection #'s will not continue to rise needlessly.

another rejection?

Man, I just sent that to you hours ago.


Actually we'll just count this as 1/2 a reject 'cause I misread the guidelines in regards to word count so there was nothing inherently or organically [;-)] "wrong" with the story. Just too long.

I'll try another mag.

And send you, dear editor, a much shorter piece.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

5 rejections in two days

three of them in just one of them.

ouch.
ouch.
ouch.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Creativity quote for 8/20/09

The object of art is to give life a shape.

--William Shakespeare, Midsummer Nights Dream

Quote for 8/20/09

Success, remember, is the reward of toil.


--Sophocles

what a morning

turned the radio on, Tom Petty/Heartbreaker's "Breakdown" just starting, I sat down at the computer and wrote a micro story that I've been trying to get out for a minute. This morning it just flowed onto the page. Got it submitted too.

yay!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Bret coming out of retirement (again) and Sean and Robin Penn divorce papers (again)

can we stop with the revolving door thing already?

Writing quote for 8/18/09

You must want to enough. Enough to take all the rejections, enough to pay the price of disappointment and discouragement while you are learning. Like any other artist you must learn your craft—then you can add all the genius you like.


--Phyllis A. Whitney

Quote for 8/18/09

You can't imagine what a pleasure this complete laziness is to me: not a thought in my brain- you might send a ball rolling through it!

--Leo Tolstoy

I was a bum all day

the only thing I accomplished was writing emails and letters to some people.

Tomorrow, before and after work, I'll be scrambling to do the things I should have done today;-)

???

got a rejection for a story which the editors declined due in part, I think, to the ending which they said was a surprise but the editor who rejected it previously said the ending was clear from the beginning of the tale.

go figure.

an anthology acceptance, two if I

get the release from NM and send it back to the publisher in time.

grrr Gwendolyn. My decision to move here was spur-of-the-moment; I didn't think about things like my mail still going to NM and my kids were supposed to send it to me every week, but they don't.

But let's think positive :) My son is arriving this weekend, so hopefully my mail will too!

I've got work published in one anthology so far. An acceptance for another. A pending acceptance. Four submissions to four other anthologies. Four story ideas for four upcoming anthologies.

Yeah, my ego would love to be in them all.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Writing quote for 8/17/09

Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.


--John Jakes

Quote for 8/17/09

This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.

- Susan Polis Schutz

they say it's 75 degrees

but it feels so much hotter.

I just woke up but I'm going to go lay my partially-clad self back in front of the fan.

Later.

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger

what is there to say?

41 submissions and counting

most are reprints, to magazines and anthologies. But I've got 20 stories pulled from my pile of drafts that I'm most interested in working on, so maybe I'll have 50 subs again soon.

my feet hurt

but I had a good day at work.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

the day is done

got no writing done

got some submissions off-- reprints of stories that have fallen off the web. I have about 40 that have. Don't think I'll be able to get them all republished but I'm gonna try for as many as possible.

am going to eat and then finish some bears

Need to take some more to the florist shop. that's working out.

Got an email from an inn in Vermont. They have a fall foliage special going. I have never seen leaves go from any color other than green to brown in NM so I'm looking forward to the trip. Just need to decide on the dates so I can ask for time off. Anyway I brought that up 'cause the inn has a bear-related name and I just might take a few with me. hmmmm

Tiger hasn't won yet but he hasn't lost yet either. I wish it were over already.

I got a new book:



think I'm gonna add reading to my to-do list and then head to bed. Adios.

Creative quote for 8/16/09

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.

— Maya Angelou

Quote for 8/16/09

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.


--Jimmy Dean

B.B. King @ B.B. King's

He's going to play at his namesake club. I gotta get a ticket. And this time, should I have another chance to speak with him, I'm taking a picture!

On the other hand

everything else in my life is hunky dory.

Think I have it figured out how to get my stuff here (and then move it on to Vermont. Shhh, but don't tell my kids. I've gone back to my 2006 plans and seeing them through. I've already started making contacts again in the city I wanted to move to. The city I AM moving to. No, they won't be happy but they have to ride the Gwentrain for a couple more years; then they can do what they want. Right now we're doing what Gwendolyn wants.)

On the prowl again

Yesterday I went to Office Max, hoping to get this office collection for my writing room. When I did an online search, the bookshelf was appearing in the clearance section. I decided to go and find out wth?

Got up early --> straight to the store to find out that, yes, they no longer have the desk and associated that I wanted:(

Have searched the Office Max site, Staples, Walmart.com-- cannot find a desk I like, much less love.

I will write on the kitchen table if I have to, but I had this vision of my writing room come next week.

poof. gone like that.

damn.

Hope Tiger pulls it off

Course the drama is all part of the "story" of Mr. Woods

Commenters crack me up

Lots of back and forth on Michael Vick. Everybody wants to make a comment-- some are funny, some are sooooo looney. I'm not sure how they don't get it: It's about football. Not role modeling, not dogs, not nothing but football. And all the warped values associated therewith.

Friday, August 14, 2009

HE CAN'T MARRY HER!!!!!

no no no no no

I used to collect Archie comic books== gave them to my teenaged son.

Just read that on the 19th, the Archie comic book will have him down on bended knee. . .

before


Veronica?????


Archie, it's Betty.

It's been her all along.

1st day of work, kind of

the last few days have been orientations and such. Today was a bit more of a workday, but not really. Come Monday, it is a different story. Up and at 'em then. But I'm looking forward to it. LOVE my supervisors. That makes a whole lotta difference.

Off the weekend! Hallelujah. I'm going to write and make up for lost time.

That was fast!

Submitted a work yesterday and today it's posted. That's the kind of turn-around I could get used to.

Tears is up at http://www.camrocpressreview.com/

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A show of hands

Who didn't think Michael Vick would be suiting up again for the NFL?



You?

You thought what he did was unforgivable and that no team would ever sign him.

Here, put on this dunce cap. Wear it while you're watching the game.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Off to write

'cause that's what I do.

Writing quote for 8/08/09

But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.


--Lord Byron

Quote for 8/08/09

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.

--Lillian Dickson

I need you in my life

meeting people with info and skills I need. In the past week, I have meet a music producer (my son and daughter write and perform and my son wants to create a home studio), a man who was in prison and is working to create a new life (I've got a story about a man who is trying to create a new life following his release from prison) and a guy who does websites (I need a personal and a business one).

Serendipity.

You will always be sent the people you need to make it happen. As the Martin Lawrence character in "Blue Streak" said: "Believe that."

"I ain't trying to holla at nobody"

That's what this guy told me. He was explaining the need for the preface to something he said he had to tell me.

"But don't take it the wrong way," he said.

I said I wouldn't, way curious though.

"I just wanted to tell you, you have the most infectious smile."

Hmm, why would he think a compliment would lead me to think he was interested in me? Just a compliment, not a proposal. Anyway it was a sweet compliment -- what could I do in response to that but smile?

(But for the record, not even thinking he was someone I'd want to holla at me.)
I'm in transition. Moving to my own place in less than two weeks. Much to my delight, Boston Ferns thrive in this climate. Already envisioning them on the front porch. Waiting for time to pass for so that can happen. Also waiting for a job to start. Am working in a university setting again. Not teaching-- am too selfish right now for that, though I'm in discussion on conducting a few writing workshops for the public library. It's a job, but a full-time job with benefits. Enough "freedom" around the job that I can breathe and the pay is good so I won't be stressing finances (I'm even started to save a bit).

another submission and another work to contemplate and write

So I got another work off and that makes me happy. I still haven't gotten any responses to some older submissions, though I've gotten some rejections from more recent ones.

And another voice asking me to take dictation. Aw right ( searching for a pen and the idea notebook)

Okay, I'm ready.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Quote for 8/06/09

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

--Ann Landers

And speaking of sidewalks

I met one up close.

I am in the process of changing my image and part of that is wearing heels on a more daily basis 'cause I'm only 4'11" and I want to send a power signal. Too, heels and jeans is sexy looking.

I usually wear heels to church, on a date, job interview and back when I was teaching at a community college. So to prepare my mind for the change, I've been working an affirmation regarding:


"I carry myself with elegance and grace."
"I carry myself with elegance and grace."
"I carry myself with elegance and grace."

And that's exactly what was running through my head when my flip flop slipped against the curb and I went down! LOL!

Brother, can you spare $1600+

The cost to get my stuff from there to here. Better start picking up those pennies I bypass on sidewalks and streets.

Writing books I recommend









Wednesday, August 05, 2009

and I wrote a new poem

:)

My number of submissions is moving up. . . albeit slowly. . .

This week, for various reasons, I won't have a lot of time to spend writing. I am writing everyday, whatever I can, but this week has some serious limitations. Anyway, I'm happy that I'm making progress. I will soon have 50 subs out.

Need something to pick you up?

Go to youtube and listen to "Miracles" by Jefferson Starship.

Was reading something about Marty Balin and I recalled how much I loved that song.

Go on and spend the rest of the evening dancing (hey, maybe even naked) around your living room.

Writing quote for 8/05/09

Write. Stay with the discomfort. Stay with the uncertainity. Stay with the emotions that a scene or a memory might conjure up for you. Stay with the work. It'll guide you back home.

--Laraine Herring
from "Writing Begins with the Breath"

Quote for 8/05/09

Life is just a chance to grow a soul.

-- A. Powell Davies

today was a good day

that's the thought I had yesterday evening. A couple of things happened exactly as I thought (and hoped) they would and THAT is very good. Very, very good.

Exhale and smile, Gwendolyn.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

You will be able to find me on Facebook

I'm not really into the social media thing. Like I said before I have a Facebook page 'cause I needed to contact someone through Facebook and had to create the page. Anyway the other day I got a message in my email that a friend from my elementary, junior high and early high school years had tried to contact me through such.

Oh my!

She was one of the most dearest of my friends.

For her, I would do Facebook.

Yet another story idea

stop stop stop

I'm becoming so disorganized with these scraps of paper, pieces of napkins, whatever I can jot a line down on at the time. . .

Writing quote for 8/04/09

The hardest thing for a fiction writer to do in a story is not tell a lie.

--Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz

The part of "the process" I'm not crazy about

I love writing. I love submitting. Contacting editors with 'are you gonna take it or not?'-- uhm,not so much.

Monday, August 03, 2009

And I got a new calendar-- 2010!!!!!!!

Man, is it me or is time really going by fast?

Is it me?

or is time flying by?

Some of those things I said I wanted this year, I haven't even given much thought to, much less effort and attention!

This summer was not as easy as my first summer here, even last year, I didn't face some of the obstacles I've been dealing with. But what can you do but roll with the punches>

And rely on God 'cause (again and again, esp. when I am not so deserving) He helps me out/makes a way. I was talking to some one yesterday and some things have been falling together, right when I need them to.

"God is good," Helen said.

I was stilled for a moment 'cause sometimes I forget that He's involved and then I recalled all the times He'd acted on my behalf and I had to think that He has some hand in what's happening now so I had to say an 'amen' to that.

Quote for 8/03/09

Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.

--Jane Rubietta

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Micro fiction anthology call

Hint Fiction

http://www.robertsw artwood.com/ ?page_id= 8

hint fiction (n) : a story of 25 words or less that suggests a larger, more complex story.

Anthology Guidelines: Tentativ ely scheduled for the fall of 2010, W.W. Norton will publish an anthology of Hint Fiction. What is Hint Fiction? It’s a story of 25 words or less that suggests a larger, more complex story. The thesis of the anthology is to prove that a story 25 words or less can have as much impact as a story 2,500 words or longer. The anthology will include between 100 and 150 stories. We want your best work.

It’s possible to write a complete story in 25 words or less — a beginning, middle, end — but that’s not Hint Fiction.

The very best Hint Fiction stories can be read many different ways.

We want stories we can read again and again and never tire of. Stories that don’t pull any punches. Stories that make us think, that evoke some kind of emotional response.

Take a look at the winners and honorable mentions of the Hint Fiction Contest for examples.

Payment is $25 per story for World and Audio rights.

Reprints? Sure, but unless you’re one hundred percent confident in the reprint, why not try to write an original piece?

For formatting purposes, you must include a title (which actually works in your benefit, as the title helps give a better “hint” of the overall story).

Writers can only submit up to two stories, both embedded in the sa
me e-mail. Don’t worry about a cover letter. We don’t care where you’ve been published or what graduate program you’ve attended — all author identification will be stripped by a third party so we will only see the stories and nothing but the stories.

To make everyone’s lives easier, embed the stories like this:

TITLE

Story.

TITLE

Story.

Your name.

Submissions will open August 1 and close at midnight Eastern time August 31. Submit only to this address:

hint.fiction(at)gmail.com

(replace (at) with @)

(An auto responder has been set up so you can get immediate confirmation that your submission has been received. On the off-chance you do not receive an automated response within an hour, submit again. If on the off-off-chance you still receive nothing, e-mail me at my personal address and we’ll get it figured out.)

Please note that due to the expected volume of submissions, we will be forced to respond with form letters.

Thank you, and good luck.

***For a limited time, if you link to these guidelines on your blog or Twitter, you can submit a third story. These must be posted between July 1 and August 15. Include the link at the end of your e-mail. If you don’t include a link, the third story will be deleted unread.***

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Writing quote for 7/30/09

Writing exposes what the heart refuses to acknowledge.

-- Barbara Ling

Quote for 7/30/09

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.


--Maria Robinson

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"you like him?"

the woman at my job asked.

Oh yes I do.

My future husband, I told her.

She laughed, but he so is.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS!

I offered cookies to a woman where I work but she declined, said she was going on vacation and she needed to watch what she ate 'cause she wanted to look good.

When she came back, I asked where she'd gone and she said "New Orleans."

For whatever reasons the Essence Music Festival came to mind and I asked if she'd gone to that. She said yes.

"Did you see Idris Elba?"

She grinned, said she'd met him.

I moaned. I asked if he was as great looking in person as in photos.

"Uh-huh," she said. "And he smells even better."





sigh.

Writing quote for 7/28/09

If you really want to get published, you will.


--Ann E. Cannon

Quote for 7/28/09

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.


--Henry David Thoreau

bought a box

for a manuscript! Giddy and crazy scared, but that collection is getting in the mail.

Bought some large envelopes too. Some contests -- deadline the 31st.

And now to find Nat Sobel's address.


Dear Mr. Sobel,

'memba me??

Life is so funny

So a little while back, I decided to quit running. Have no idea what I've been running from, just a crazy skill I acquired during childhood (moving targets are not so easily hit) but it's pretty useless now.

I'm never gonna outrun "it." I don't even know if "it" exist-- what "it" is-- I just know I've been determined to stay one step ahead of "it" but I'm done.

Decided to stop running-- entering that cave as Mr. Campbell said-- and then Life starts giving me what I need to make it happen. Dropping the crumbs to entice me down the path I need to travel. But not literally 'cause GJM has reached the end of the road.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Creativity quote for 7/22/09

The most potent muse of all is our own inner child.

– Stephen Nachmanovitch

Quote for 7/22/09

Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.

--Joseph Campbell

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Writing quote for 7/21/09

A writer lives, at least, in a state of astonishment. Beneath any feeling he has of the good or evil of the world lies a deeper one of wonder at it all. To transmit that feeling, he writes.

-- William Sansom

Quote for 7/21/09

Have a plan. Follow the plan, and you'll be surprised how successful you can be. Most people don't have a plan. That's why it's easy to beat most folks.


- Paul "Bear" Bryant

Monday, July 20, 2009

Creative quote for 7/20/09

I dream for a living.


-Steven Spielburg

Quote for 7/20/09

Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it.


--Anne De Lenclos

but it's a really good idea

Okay Robert Olen Butler would not agree with the "idea" of stories -- in "From Where You Dream" (if I'm remembering correctly) he says that stories come from, well, where you dream and not from an idea 'cause ideas come from the mind. But, anyway, one of the new/recent "ideas" that came to me, that I was working on yesterday has a voice that I love, so I'm going to shoot this work to the top of the pack and work on it some more today.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Writing quote for 7/19/09

One has to live a life that creates a writer.

--Erno Paasilinna

Quote for 7/19/09

You can know what's in your life when you know what's in your heart.


-- Sam Keen

How do you turn this thing off?

Started a new story. Actually started three new ones. Argh! I'm trying to revise some early drafts and get some other stories that I've been pondering, done. Don't need any new ideas, though I'd much rather have the too many ideas than not enough.

Saturday, July 18, 2009






Another book recently finished. Found a wonderful quote by Joseph Campbell in it which lead me to today's quote. Actually there were many wonderful passages and quotes in the book. Like this one from Tony Robbins: "Dreams don't come true. They are true."

Anyway, some things shifting in my life. Some calls out to me and I see how the "stuff" that was going on was preparing me to answer. The confusion is lifting and I can see a little bit further down the road.

Sunflowers

I am working with the enthusiasm of a man from Marseilles eating bouillabaisse, which shouldn't come as a surprise to you because I am busy painting huge sunflowers.

- Vincent Van Gogh, Aries, letter to his brother Theo




O, wonderful bartering. I can have a sunflower in exchange for a bear. Yay, yay! I hope I can do this on a weekly basis.

Quote for 7/18/09

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

-- Joseph Campbell

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Quote for 7/14/09

To suffer one's confusion is the first step in healing.

Robert Johnson

Three stories recently published

  • "What I Call Him"
  • (you gotta scroll down a little)

  • "What You Should Have Done"


  • "Out In A Snow"


  • a list of 64 stories that I'm revising (yes, some of the 100 I wrote a while back and some new pieces) and chugging along through a novel :)

    Wednesday, July 08, 2009

    fighting with a dj

    I was listening to the radio 92Q -- Kenny Smoov-- and I wrote this note to the dj 'cause I believe if Steve McNair was in his home WITH HIS WIFE then he might not be dead. They said that McNair cared about kids and mentioned his football camps-- I think it's time to stop focusing young black men's attention of playing ball and being rappers. Playing football is not a life skill!!!!!!!!

    Lots of people do charity work but charity begins at HOME!!! How you treat those closest to you says more about you than how you treat strangers.

    The dj said on the air that it was a nasty email and he invited me to call, even threatened to read the email on-air if I didn't and he called me a COWARD 'cause I sent an email in the first place. I don't have a phone but I would have called him if I did.

    He said I just wanted my 15 minutes! Ha. Baby, I'm going to earn my fifteen. They pointed out that I wasn't from here and I probably didn't understand what McNair meant to the community. Here's what I do know: That lots of people I've come into contact with, black people who live in Nashville don't know who Diane Nash is. They haven't a clue about Nashville's part in the Freedom Rides and the Civil Rights movement.

    I ride the bus and listening to the conversations, I am deeply distressed. Can someone teach these young children their history-- let them know that they come from fighters and people who put their lives on the line so that future generations of blacks and other minorities could have more. Can you teach 'em that instead of some game plays?

    No, I just have a problem with athletes being idolized as if their off-field behavior is unquestionable. I bet there are guys out there who think Kobe isn't a rapist. And Oj's showed us who and what he truly is. Or does it not matter 'cause he was good on the field?

    And what's so wrong with saying it? Out loud, even. It's called consequences. I didn't say he deserved to die. Man no one deserves to be killed and not the way it happened to him, but if he had CHOSEN to be AT HIS HOME at ONE IN THE MORNING, then . . .

    People should have ONE LIFE not multiple ones. ONE LIFE with integrity. Decency. Honesty. Imagine that.

    Saturday, July 04, 2009

    Quote for July 4, 2009

    You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.

    David Lloyd George

    me time

    Long time. A month, well how time flies.

    News: June became a bust. Not one thing I wanted to attend, not even the coveted workshop. Things fall apart.

    Took it in stride-- what else could I do? Learning to focus on inner stuff and not so much that which happens outside me; I can only control my attitude;-)

    Exercising, lost 8 pounds and got the best blood pressure reading I've had in a looooooong time. "It's still a little high," the med tech who took it told me, but I was thinking at least it's not stroke-waiting- to happen, you know?

    Just got off work, though it was just for the 4th of July, a temporary thing. Big news story- Steve McNair was shot and killed. Wow. At the job I previously had-- restaurant-- there was a bit of hulabaloo; Steve McNair had come in. Who? Former NFL player. Oh. But he was killed today. wow.

    & Michael Jackson's dead. & Farrah. & Ed McMahon. & the Oxyclean guy. & all those people on those planes. wow. wow. wow.

    The governor of S.C. should stop playing the too-much-information-game and Sarah Palin, well, what do you think she's got up her sleeve, hmmmmm??????


    I got a chapbook out to a publisher. That collection of short stories is gonna take me another month or so. Some sloppy writing on some early drafts of some of the stories. Some damn sloppy writing. Anyway have two more chapbooks I want to enter in a contest; one I need to search out the stories that fell off the web. Do I have them back in Las Cruces? Gotta go back there. Soon.

    Anyway, not much else. Hope you're having a grand (but not hot like me) summer. Am having a birthday this month and there is something I said I would accomplish before I got a year older so I'm gonna be working on that so I may not be back here till August, maybe later.

    Maybe sooner. Who knows? It is GJM we're talking about.

    Thursday, June 04, 2009

    another story acceptance

    yay!

    it's raining!

    But I got to go out at some point--hope it slows or stops. Most days I don't mind being out in the rain, but today is not one of those days.

    Wednesday, June 03, 2009

    Creative quote for 6-03-09

    It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

    Duke Ellington/Irving Mills

    Quote for 6-03-09

    And God spake unto Moses, and said unto him, I am the LORD: And I appeared unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, by the name of God Almighty, but by my name Jehovah was I not known to them.

    Sunflower quote for 6-3-09

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It's what sunflowers do.

    - Helen Keller

    I gotta work today

    writing 'cause I've got a deadline==TODAY! Got something out yesterday, hoping to get two more pieces plus the previous mentioned out today.

    Tuesday, June 02, 2009

    Still writing

    Life is, you know, a mixture of what you want and what you so don't want! Anyway writing up a storm (yes, that's a cliche) 'cause it keeps me sane.

    Have found a very quaint flower/gift shop that will carry my bears. The owner is a very lovely woman and we both are excited about this. Even better, this morning she told me her biz has a website and they take online orders, sending flowers and such. Oh why not send a bear along? This could work.

    Trying to figure out where I'm going. I was thinking of staying here. Yeah, a few reasons. But I really want to move to the east coast, this guy I was flirting with was from Cleveland and we both got all excited when we were talking about playing in the snow. He wanted to take me to Ohio. ha. Anyway another man said I should forgo Vermont (yes, I'm back on that kick) and go to Conneticut. Hmmmm. I'm still thinking about that $49 apartment special; maybe I should head west? Just somewhere Gwendolyn. I miss my plants and I want my dog and to get another cat (mine died and I think I'm more than ready for another)and to get my craft room and my writing room back up.

    Not much else. I'm off to write now. If I continue on my current disciplined journey, I will have this collection of interrelated stories in the mail next week:)

    Adios.

    Sunday, May 31, 2009

    I believe in Magic




    There's a big screen TV where I work. The other day it was turned to ESPN and there was Dwight Howard recapping a previous game, as the Orlando Magic was playing against the Cavs.

    I was so looking forward to going to work today and seeing Mr. Howard on tv all day since he was instrumental in the Magic heading to the NBA finals but it wasn't on ESPN --some other channel, syndicated shows all day:(

    Unfortunately will not watch them play the Lakers. Not a Kobe fan AT ALL-- was hoping for the Cavs to win so Kobe would have to play in King James' court.

    Monday, May 18, 2009

    misc

    I was in the newspaper yesterday. My hometown one. Calling my kids-- buy the Sunday paper and keep it for me! I'm so full of myself!

    Got an acceptance. Yay! Feels good to be back on that publishing path. Working on something tonight, working on those 5 submissions for this week. And I have to write my piece for the San Fran workshop and upload that by next Monday. A week. I need to get B-U-S-Y!

    Sunday, May 17, 2009

    Creative quote for 5/17/09

    Creativity is like a great receptive womb.

    --Lynn Andrews

    Quote for 5/17/09

    Strength doesn't come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will.

    Gandhi

    I'm doing some serious writing

    so very happy that's happening. Some things in life switching up and I'm being afforded what I need to support this writing habit of mine. Some submissions out last week and I hope for no less than 5 this week. So it's off the computer and back to the stories-- longhand because I lack a certain discipline with the internet so close by to distract me!




    Got this new book by Annie Dillard, illustrated by Sam Fink. What a wonderful inspiration! When I settle somewhere (I am, really, someday, maybe soon) I'm gonna hang it between two walls. (If you don't know, it unfolds like an accordion)

    Monday, May 11, 2009

    The funniest scam letter I've ever gotten in my email

    The line about what to do if I don't have the money to wire to them cracked me up! Hahahahahahahahahaha





    FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
    FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
    Federal Bureau of Investigation
    J. Edgar Hoover Building
    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
    Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

    Attn: Beneficiary,

    This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Mr. Michell Brown From union bank kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you
    have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
    Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$10.5million in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $10,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.
    Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect You. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $570 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

    CONTACT INFORMATION
    NAME: Kelvin Williams
    EMAIL: kelvinwilliams43@sify.com

    Do contact Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details: EMAIL ADDRESS: kelvinwilliams43@sify.com
    FULL NAME:
    HOME ADDRESS:
    TELL:
    CELL:
    CURRENT OCCUPATION:
    BANK NAME:

    So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $570 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. Please if you know you cannot be able to afford the $570 for the delivery of your ATM card via FedEx then do not bother to contact Mr. Kelvin Williams as we are in the begining of new year and he should be busy with some other things.


    We order you to get back to Mr. kelvin williams Only right away.

    FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.

    Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possesion of your ATM CARD, you are hereby adviced only to be in contact with Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to Mr. Kelvin williams so we could act upon and commence investigation.
    THIS IS FBI SECURITY ALERT EMAIL DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL FOR SECURITY REASON.


    GET BACK TO MR. KELVIN WILLIAMS ONLY.

    Thursday, May 07, 2009

    Awwww Manny!

    Man, not you too:(

    Friday, May 01, 2009

    another pig pic








    photo credit-- unknown/snagged from Yahoo home page

    sooooooo

    I wish Life would let up off me for a minute. Some good things occurring but there's some other stuff pressing down on me; feels like forever. Gimme a break! And I don't mean a rerun of that tv show!

    Thursday, April 30, 2009

    They said yes! and they said no!

    I got accepted into the weeklong writer's conference that I wanted to attend. Only 10 or less people are chosen to attend any one workshop (there are six offered the first week when I'm attending) so I feel very honored (though I believed I would be selected).

    I did not, however, get my first choice-- the fiction workshop. I will be in the memoir workshop.

    So my stay in San Francisco will be extended. I will go there to read for Juneteenth (that should be on a Saturday) and then Sunday I'll move onto the University of San Francisco and hang out for a week. Yay!

    Tuesday, April 28, 2009

    Seriously?

    Why don't the writers of the guidelines for some magazines know the difference between simultaneous and multiple submissions??????

    Sometimes when I read the guidelines and see that whoever wrote them obviously doesn't know that simultaneous means I send my ONE story to 45 magazines; multiple submissions means I send my 45 stories to just you Mr. Fiction Editor, to just your ONE magazine, sometimes I wonder if I really want to be in that publication at all. . .

    National Poetry Month

    One of my favs:



    The Road Not Taken -- Robert Frost


    TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could
    To where it bent in the undergrowth;

    Then took the other, as just as fair,
    And having perhaps the better claim,
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
    Though as for that the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same,

    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black.
    Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back.

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.

    Saturday, April 25, 2009

    National Poetry Month

    Grace by Forrest Hamer



    This air is flooded with her. I am a boy again, and my mother
    and I lie on wet grass, laughing. She startles, turns to
    marigolds at my side, saying beautiful, and I can see the red
    there is in them.

    When she would fall into her thoughts, we'd look for what
    distracted her from us.

    My mother's gone again as suddenly as ever and, seven months
    after the funeral, I go dancing. I am becoming grateful.
    Breathing, thinking, marigolds.

    Lesson in Love #3

    I was having an especially bad day, some somber news from home about my mother. At work, a man I usually have very animated conversations with, noticed that there was something amiss.

    My first response was to brush it off, to tell him that it was nothing, that something that had my mind preoccupied ('cause when we ask someone 'how are you?' do we *really* care?) then I decided to be honest and I told him (briefly) my distraction. Much to my surprise, Donnie chose to be present with me and he expressed his sorrow and concern.

    He and some buddies come into the restaurant to have coffee in the morning and then return for coffee in the afternoon. When he returned after lunch, he said he wanted to give me something, in hopes that I might feel better and he went on to sing "Diary" by Bread.

    How did he know I loved that David Gates song!

    I smiled, tears coming to my eyes. He had made me feel so much better.

    Love is wonderful when it's given; so much sweeter when it's received.

    Friday, April 24, 2009

    so cute





    I love pigs(preferably in strips next to some scrambled eggs) and I collect pig stuff. This pic is too cute!







    and I can't credit the photographer 'cause I don't know who he/she is or I would 'cause that's the proper thing to to. Snagged it off the Yahoo page, though.

    I'm soooo in love





    Haved enjoyed him in his six-episode stint on The Office. Sadly I think it ended with last night's episode (which was hilarious). He is uber-yummy-sexy!


    No, I will not see him in his big-screen movie that opens tonight 'cause I'm not fan of the singer-who-thinks--she-can-act who co-produced and co-starred. I sat through "Dreamgirls" but I will NEVER sit through another film with her in it!

    Wednesday, April 22, 2009

    I made the wrong choice

    except for one particular, I think I should have chosen the $49 apartment special.

    Tuesday, April 21, 2009

    Reality vs live vs Life

    So there's much being made about the 12-year old on "Britain's Got Talent." Someone wrote on a comment section of an article that Simon Cowell had tried to manipulate things so this young man beats out Susan Boyle. (He stopped the kid from singing one song and they put on another recording, which this person felt was unfair.)

    Uhmmmm. . .

    This show is not live. It is a reality show and therefore is edited and don't think that the judges don't know what's going on /what's going to happen.

    It's not LIVE TV where anything could happen just keep rollin' the cameras.

    And, it is not LIFE. Don't get so concerned about the contestants. Put that same energy, passion and concern into your own self, dear commenter.

    National Poetry Month

    Grandfather Says
    "Sit in my hand."
    I'm ten.
    I can't see him,
    but I hear him breathing
    in the dark.
    It's after dinner playtime.
    We're outside,
    hidden by trees and shrubbery.
    He calls it hide-and-seek,
    but only my little sister seeks us
    as we hide
    and she can't find us,
    as grandfather picks me up
    and rubs his hands between my legs.
    I only feel a vague stirring
    at the edge of my consciousness.
    I don't know what it is,
    but I like it.
    It gives me pleasure
    that I can't identify.
    It's not like eating candy,
    but it's just as bad,
    because I had to lie to grandmother
    when she asked,
    "What do you do out there?"
    "Where?" I answered.
    Then I said, "Oh, play hide-and-seek."
    She looked hard at me,
    then she said, "That was the last time.
    I'm stopping that game."
    So it ended and I forgot.
    Ten years passed, thirtyfive,
    when I began to reconstruct the past.
    When I asked myself
    why I was attracted to men who disgusted me
    I traveled back through time
    to the dark and heavy breathing part of my life
    I thought was gone,
    but it had only sunk from view
    into the quicksand of my mind.
    It was pulling me down
    and there I found grandfather waiting,
    his hand outstretched to lift me up,
    naked and wet
    where he rubbed me.
    "I'll do anything for you," he whispered,
    "but let you go."
    And I cried, "Yes," then "No."
    "I don't understand how you can do this to me.
    I'm only ten years old,"
    and he said, "That's old enough to know."

    Ai

    Another acceptance!

    But change these few things.


    oh, all right. . .

    It's not over yet

    Here is a note from Talia.

    Please continue to support her! I've read the excerpt and though I haven't yet a chance to post a review, I'm going to try to get to it. But don't be like me; go the distance. Trust me-- her writing ROCKS!

    --------

    New York, April 15, 2009

    Out of close to 10,000 entries, my yet-unpublished novel JERUSALEM MAIDEN has now made it to the semi-finals in Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. The selection was made solely upon Publishers' Weekly review combined with Amazon's experts' reviews.

    Thank you all who have read the excerpt and reviewed it on Amazon. Your reviews will now play an important role as Penguin's editors are reading the semi-finalists to determine the top 3 finalists. Customers' reviews is one of the three criteria they use.

    That also mean that the race for more reviews is far from being over. If you have not yet read the excerpt, please do so, and, since you've had a good reading experience, please tell your reading friends about it. The direct link is:
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001UG3AOG .

    Set in the early 1900s in Jerusalem, JERUSALEM MAIDEN is the story of Esther, a young woman destined to be married in order to hasten the messiah's arrival, when she discovers her talent for art. However, visual expression is against the Second Commandment, “though shalt not make any graven image,” and thus begins Esther's struggle between her yearning for individuality and the demands of her society's religious dictates.
    Thanks a million for your support!

    Warmest regards,

    Talia Carner
    Author, Puppet Child & China Doll
    www.TaliaCarner.com

    Sunday, April 19, 2009

    It's raining, the Doobie Brothers are singing "Jesus is Just Alright," I'm terribly happy and it's still National Poetry Month

    Tell Me a Story by Robert Penn Warren


    Long ago, in Kentucky, I, a boy, stood
    By a dirt road, in first dark, and heard
    The great geese hoot northward.

    I could not see them, there being no moon
    And the stars sparse.I heard them.

    I did not know what was happening in my heart.

    It was the season before the elderberry blooms,
    Therefore they were going north.

    The sound was passing northward.

    Maybe the Yankees should spend all that ca$h they got

    on some brains.

    'cause something just ain't working;-)


    not that I'm complaining 'cause if they sat out another World Series, yay!

    Friday, April 17, 2009

    hooray for hulu

    The Office season 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Susan Boyle

    The lesson remains-- what a person looks like says little about who they are, what gifts they possess, what lessons they could teach us.















    (yes, grammatically incorrect --singular noun/plural pronoun, but that's okay for the sake of this post.)

    naked cheerleader coach

    So somewhere in America, a cheerleading coach got fired because she'd posed for Playboy. Don't know if if was pre-coaching days or post-, still some girls who didn't make the team were instrumental in "exposing" her. Hell hath no fury as a wanna-be cheerleader who doesn't make the squad!

    There are cheerleader moms in an uproar --the boys on the football team have probably seen the cheerleading coach!!-- but guess what Mommy, the boys on the football team have probably seen your little Becky sans clothing via a text.

    Monday, April 13, 2009

    National Poetry Month

    Lyn Lifshin.

    An amazing talent. If there is a magazine that publishes poetry that has not published a work by her, please let me know 'cause it is probably a new publication or a rarity 'cause that wonderful poet, it seems, has been published everywhere.

    I discovered her when I worked at a library. Found chapbooks hidden in the "forgotten" stacks in the periodical section and one book was sooo amazing I had to steal it. Have it still this day.

    I love Lyn Lifshin.

    Saturday, April 11, 2009

    don't like mornings, but

    they're tolerable when you wake to good news!

    National Poetry Month

    We Real Cool

    The Pool Players.
    Seven at the Golden Shovel.
    =

    We real cool. We
    Left school. We

    Lurk late. We
    Strike straight. We

    Sing sin. We
    Thin gin. We

    Jazz June. We
    Die soon.


    Gwendolyn Brooks, “We Real Cool” from Selected Poems. Copyright © 1963 by Gwendolyn Brooks.

    Friday, April 10, 2009

    June is pretty full

    I hope to reading in LA on the 6th, I will read in San Antonio and possibly speak or conduct a workshop at a conference on the 13th/14th and then the next weekend I'll be in San Francisco to read at a Juneteenth celebration and then the last week I hope to be at that writing conference.

    Unsure if I'm going to leave Tn and travel or if I will be heading out completely. Like everything else, we will wait and see.

    another rejection

    :(

    a freak accident gets me a trip to the emergency for some stitches

    but the doctor ends up doing the staple thing so I'm forced to return to the hospital 'cause my blood pressure was crazy crazy and they want to check it out again when I return to have the staple removed.

    I've never had stitches, well only in connection with childbirth but we won't discuss that;-). Glue was also an option. Probably wasn't gonna be Elmer's. Getting stapled was weird and it looks weird but that's better than gaping and bleeding.

    Monday, April 06, 2009

    Three things you didn't know about Gwendolyn Mintz

    Did you know that Gwendolyn Mintz...
    1. Translates to the number 3 in numerology
    2. Has the Sabre-toothed Tiger as their Power Animal
    3. Shares their name with a guesstimated 5 Americans?
    See more at http://www.isthisyour.name

    Posted using ShareThis

    Wednesday, April 01, 2009

    Hail the mighty Tiger

    soooooooooo unbelievable.

    National Poetry Month

    Go read something by Lucille Clifton.

    Out loud and with feeling.

    Poetry quote for 4/1/09

    Poetry is the music of the soul, and, above all, of great and feeling souls.


    --Voltaire

    Quote for 4/1/09

    You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again


    --Tom Petty

    This post belongs on the teddy bear blog

    but I'm too lazy to sign out and resign in under another user.

    I've got to run to Hobby Lobby really quick and then get back here and make my orders. I can't believe and I can believe that I'm headed where I want to go!!!!!!!!!!!

    No fears, no holding back. I'm just ready to do this.

    Sunday, March 29, 2009

    The first rejection of the year

    well, at least it's over with.

    Quote for 3/29/09

    Discipline is remembering what you want.

    --David Campbell

    Creative quote for 3/29/09

    Sewing mends the soul.

    --Author Unknown

    Facilitating a workshop

    or giving a speech about my writer's journey or something else.

    An opportunity to participate in a writer's conference in San Antonio! Yay yay

    I just gotta decide what I want to do and get back to the coordinator with such.

    and I gotta write a bio and send it to the gentleman coordinating the Juneteenth reading in San Fran.

    But that will have to be this evening, 'cause I've, uhm, got plans for the morning.

    Man, it's early

    There was a tornado watch last night. Never been through that before. The sky was crazy gorgeous with dark clouds and the rain was just this constant downpour-- for awhile -- and then the rain stopped and it didn't feel so dark, though the sky was filled with grey clouds. It was beautiful.

    Anyway, this storm watch interrupted my plans for the evening so I've got to make up some time by getting my butt up and to work this morning. I would love to write, psyched by the acceptance, I've got five other new pieces out and I'd love to up that number back to six, maybe make it seven, but I've got to get those bears done. PRIORITY.

    Discipline myself! Work on this project and make the $$ you need to have the REWARD: You won't have to work outside and for someone else and you can write Gwendolyn. The never-getting-out-of-your-pj's, eating-corn-pops-while-you-sit-before-the-screen-searching-for-the-right-word-on-your-quest-to-understand-the world-and-yourself-through-writing, you can have days and months of that, Sweetie, but you gotta do this other thing first.



    Oh, all right.

    Saturday, March 28, 2009

    My first acceptance of 2009

    "Times Were Hard," a micro has been accepted by Flashshot.

    Friday, March 27, 2009

    Creative quote for 3/27/09

    Child, to say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that's the whole art and joy of words.


    -Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

    Quote for 3/27/09

    Let everything that hath breath praise Jehovah. Praise ye Jehovah.



    --Psalm 150: 6
    American Standard Version

    misc

    God was really good to me. My current challenge is a tough one and something needed to happen and happen in a big way and quick and yesterday I prayed and prayed and prayed. The answer a "yes" though not on my timetable, but close enough (maybe I'm being given the time to get it together and grow up in regards to this predicament I repeat again and again, hmmmmmm). Anyway, I'm so very grateful God overlooks so much and extends his mercy to me.

    I have a part-time job and I'm ending my first week of work; my feet hurt. Next week, I order everything for the graduation bears and get started doing that in the evenings and weekend. The money from this job is going to be tucked away for my writing. Books, writing and just-for-reading ones, and for travel. And some misc. bills.

    Ireland has been delayed again and I don't even know if the anthology "24/7" is still going to come out 'cause the domain for the organization is parked and my last gmail got no response. Oh, well. Stuff happens. I remember when I was scheduled to do a reading in NJ. I talked to the woman on the phone and she was quite nice and, so it seemed, equally excited to have me doing the reading-- she selected me from a pool of poets. She said she'd get back to me but never did!

    Anyway I've got to get on some stories tonight 'cause this weekend I've got to do bears and ship them back to NM for the display at the bank.


    It was a wonderful rainy day. Jeffrey Osbourne is crooning "Love Ballad," the hit from when he was with LTD/ one of the most beautiful songs. I am at peace.

    My world is good:)

    Thursday, March 26, 2009

    Another story out somewhere

    A micro but I'm loving getting work out again. One day I hope to have the time to submit reprints. I have about 50 stories that have fallen off the web. I don't think I'll get some of them republished, they are some of the weakest writing I've done, but there are some stories that I want people to be able to read.

    Anyway, I'm going to go take a nap and then get up and work on another story.

    Adios.

    uncanny

    I get these inspirational messages in my email. DailyOM. Sometimes I'll be facing a certain something and the DailyOM reflects that situation.

    So I left here for a second to check my email and this is today's:


    March 26, 2009
    Over And Over Again
    Having The Same Experiences
    There may be times in our lives when it seems like we keep having the same kinds of experiences. The situation or the people involved may be different each time, yet one experience may feel exactly like the last one and the one before that one. Perhaps we left a job where we were unhappy and we find ourselves experiencing similar challenges in our new job. A relationship with a new romantic partner may start to seem a lot like our old relationship and the problems that we thought we had left behind. We may feel disappointed or frustrated and wonder why the same situations and people keep showing up in our lives. The truth is that the same kinds of experiences don’t keep happening to us. After all, the circumstances and the people involved are always different. We keep having the same kinds of experiences.

    Subconsciously, there is great value to be had in experiencing life in the same ways until we are ready to have different experiences. Perhaps we feel unworthy of happiness, or worry that we can’t get a break. Our experiences tend to reflect what we believe about life. After all, most of us don’t like to be proven wrong. We may even derive satisfaction in being right or experience a sense of safety every time we confirm to ourselves that know the way the world works. We may choose a relationship partner who is very different from our last significant other and hope that this time love will turn out differently. Yet as long as we hold whatever beliefs we have that limit the good we can experience in our relationships, we will create the same dynamic of limited happiness with any partner.

    We bring ourselves and our beliefs to every situation. If we can figure out which of our beliefs are no longer serving us, we can consciously change those beliefs, make new choices, and start having new kinds of experiences that are in line with what we want in life.



    EXACTLY what I'm going through. Now to reread it and put into action what I need to put into action, i.e. changing my belief system!

    Not my will but Your will be done

    So I have to add something to the post I made the other day about the things I'm hoping to get this year. I forgot to say if God so willed.

    'cause the plan for /purpose of my life may not include a husband or the other things I mentioned. That's not saying those things won't happen. God is generous. I just need to recognize that if I really want to be baptized then I'm surrendering claim to my life and some of the things I want may be in conflict with what God has planned for me.

    And God's will trumps mine.

    Jersey Boys

    The musical about Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons is going to be at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center. I hope I have money that I can spend on tickets before the show closes.

    I'm not so much a FV/4 Seasons fan as much as I am a Frankie Valli fan.

    I LOVE "My Eyes Adored You." Such a wonderful song. When I heard the commercial for the musical "Jersey Boys," I started singing the song and I was surprised how easily the words came back. But not so surprised. I used to have this monster crush on a guy who lived across the street and my adolescent heart dedicated it to him; it never, evidently, forgot.

    "My eyes adored you
    Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
    How I adored you:
    So close, so close and yet so far away. . ."

    I'm in the middle of a crisis of sorts

    challenges, challenges. . . but I'm here (again) because I'm not proactive and my thinking about this thing keeps me trapped. I'm always surprised to find myself at the same place again. Equally frustrated.

    The choice(s) that will turn this around, man, I hope I make it/them.

    You can't find me there

    on Facebook. My friend Maya wrote me and asked if I was really there. Uhm, no. The truth is I needed to ask someone a question and someone who had this person as a friend suggested I join Facebook, go to his friend list, and find her and write her through there, which is what I did.

    Every now and then I get an email that says that so-and-so has added me as a friend. Okay. Or I'll get something from Tagged or Friendster or WAYN and I'm like, okay, 'cause I don't have to time to keep up with this. Shelfari? Can't even remember my password, it's been a minute since I've been there. I don't really even go to my Myspace page but occasionally to add people who send friend requests.

    I don't understand how some people have the time to keep up with all these social networking things. I can barely handle the two blogs I've got going.

    Removing a post

    'cause there are things a certain person doesn't need to know, should that person stumble upon this blog. My state of "gaga-ness" is something I should write in my paper journal and not the virtual one 'cause a certain person doesn't have access to that one.

    Monday, March 23, 2009

    Creative quote for 3/23/09

    Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.


    --William Plomer.

    Quote for 3/23/09

    Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, "Here is an opportunity for you to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary."


    --Anthony Robbins



    I will read this every day if I have to. Envisioning my dreams, WRITING them down, breaking things down into goals and those goals into tasks I need to complete daily.

    This year I plan to get a novel into the hands of an agent, I plan to get engaged to be married, I plan to buy a house, I plan to have a business that makes use of my talents and provides viable income, I plan to meet the requirements to be baptized in the religious organization I want to belong to (and for the record, I no longer write erotica but I'm not taking down the links from the work I published previously. Think Prince; there's stuff he don't do no more, but you can still hear "Little Red Corvette every now and then).

    Not everything I want but it's a start. Now, I have to put dates on these things.

    When do I want them?

    Uhm. . . yesterday;-)

    The Office

    cannot find Season 5 in chronological order. On Youtube the quality is horrible, plus you only get 5 minutes at a time. Was watching them on Netflix. Spoiled that way.

    Feenin' but maybe this is a good thing. Reading about focus and handling distractions so maybe this is Life helping me out. Forget Dwight, Gwendolyn. Remember your DREAMS.

    San Francisco is a go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I will be reading at a Juneteenth celebration, my story about this annual Black event.

    Dancing around the living room.

    Sunday, March 22, 2009

    help a sistah out

    Talia Carnes is a finalist of sorts in the Amazon Novel Contest. This is from an email she sent. Go to Amazon. Support her career.
    ----------------------------------

    Recently I finished editing a new novel, Jerusalem Maiden. Luckily, the manuscript has just been named a quarterfinalist in a contest run by Amazon to publish a breakthrough novel in partnership with Penguin books. There were close to 10,000 submissions!

    Amazon asks its customers--you--to VOTE in order to move it to the semifinal. Will you please read the excerpt on Amazon and post your impression?

    Please click http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001UG3AOG. The
    download is F=R#E^E even as it says "Ready to B-u^y Now?" (If you do not see the blue purchasing icon on the right and you are using AOL, Firefox or such sensitive browser, try Internet Explorer.)

    Keep a copy of the review. After you post it, please check in a day or two to see if it’s up. Amazon’s software can be capricious….

    Jerusalem Maiden is a story of a young woman's struggle with her fundamentalist society's religious dictates, what Hollywood would tag "The Red Tent" meets "A thousand Splendid Suns." I am certain that you will enjoy reading the short excerpt. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001UG3AOG

    This is important to me, but also, each novel I publish draws attention to my previous books and gives exposure to the social issues behind my writing. I use 100% of the revenues to finance my activism.

    A million thanks for your support.

    Talia Carner
    www.TaliaCarner.com

    Saturday, March 21, 2009

    Creative quote for 3/21/09

    Those who wish to sing, always find a song.


    --Swedish Proverb

    Quote for 3/21/09

    Without music life would be a mistake.

    --Friedrich Nietzsche

    So today will end on a great note

    Thursday night I went to sleep with stuff on my mind. Friday it got resolved and today another piece of news, really really good news, so I've been giddy all day. A Jersey Mike's Sub opened up (I LOVE DELI'S) and they were having this special-- $1 subs, money donated to cancer research so I had this delicious Italian sandwich for cheap and for a good cause. I got a flash finished and submitted Yay! Threw my hat in for a reading in San Fran. I wrote this woman who I'd previously contacted about reading in NY; she wrote back that the reading series was no longer and sorry that they didn't get to me :(

    I also wrote that poet who had asked me to read in Chicago but I never heard from him again after I'd selected the timeframe in which I wanted to read. If that reading series is over as well or he's no longer interested, no problem. I'd just like to delete those emails in that pending folder.

    Happy so I've been having a private party this evening. Lots of my favorites at Youtube. Gloria Estefan, Jeffrey Osbourne, Luther Vandross. Doobie Brothers, although they shouldn't be allowed to sing Echoes of Love w/o Michael McDonald and then seeing Jeff Baxter had me listening to Steeley Dan. Then it's Greg Allman and the Allman Brothers Band. No, no Tom Petty 'cause I'm gonna go work on another story before i go to bed and if I get started with the Heartbreakers this party'll go all night;-) .

    But I did listen to Thin Lizzy. and Metallica. and The Dubliners. If one chooses to listen to "Whiskey in the Jar" one should listen to the various renditions, though Thin Lizzy does it the very very best.

    then Chicago, Aretha and Bob

    I'm in love with the trombone player in Chicago. Loved their music, saddened by Terry Kath's death, loved Robert Lamm's voice, not quite sure how I felt about Peter Ceterra becoming the lead singer. Not that it mattered 'cause my favorite song is "You Are On My Mind" sung by that gorgeous chest-baring trombone player.

    And then somehow I had to go listen to Aretha and ended with Bob Seger who I love more than Leon Russell though not as much as Elton John. "We've Got Tonight" and "You'll Accompany Me"-- just keep hitting that replay button.

    If I'd gotten into my Tom Petty/Heartbreakers mood, I'd get nothing done today.

    Hello, It's Me

    Yesterday I caught a commercial with my MOST favorite song playing in it. So of course I went to YouTube and looked up Todd Rundgren and watched him sing it a few times. A clip from Midnight Special! Wow -- the 70's! Wolfman Jack and Soul Train and American bandstand. Ah, the memories. Anyway, there was a more recent clip of him when he appeared on The David Letterman Show; INCREDIBLE version.

    Hello, it's me
    I've thought about us for a long, long time
    Maybe I think too much but something's wrong
    There's something here that doesn't last too long
    Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine

    Seeing you
    Or seeing anything as much as I do you
    I take for granted that you're always there
    I take for granted that you just don't care
    Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through

    It's important to me
    That you know you are free
    'Cause I never want to make you change for me

    Think of me
    You know that I'd be with you if I could
    I'll come around to see you once in a while
    Or if I ever need a reason to smile
    And spend the night if you think I should

    It's important to me
    That you know you are free
    'Cause I never want to make you change for me

    Think of me
    You know that I'd be with you if I could
    I'll come around to see you once in a while
    Or if I ever need a reason to smile
    And spend the night if you think I should

    Think of me...
    Think of me...
    Think of me


    lyrics by Todd Rungren

    Friday, March 20, 2009







    Excellent book. I really do feel empowered and the section on work was quite meaningful for me, given where I'm at and what I'm trying to do.

    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    Creative quote for 3/19/09

    If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head almost nothing.

    -Marc Chagall

    Quote for 3/19/09

    I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.

    --Frank Lloyd Wright

    A beautiful rainy day!

    One meant for pondering and a certain degree of laziness.

    N/R.

    Today, since I'll be staying in, I am going to do some more writing--got a micro done last night (in between episodes of "The Office" Just 3 more shows in Season 4 to watch, yay!)--and also turning my attention to some things I've been procrastinating about.

    Quickest way to get one's life flowing is to finish projects.

    Have to get application packets ready for two different residencies. I hope to spend some time somewhere I've never been to give my writing a jolt of newness. I've applied for two grants and a writer's workshop so far. I'd like to attend a full writer's conference, but I'll think about that once I've got the residencies crossed off my list.

    I'm three stories away from finishing "Gorilla, My Love" and I hope to finish the Empowerment book today.

    So it only looks like I'm doing nothing, sprawled out on the floor; I'm working. I am! I am!

    Wednesday, March 18, 2009

    my new addiction

    I'm not a television watcher but my daughters were raving about this show called "The Office."

    Watched it and like crack cocaine (though I've never tried crack cocaine; I'm just repeating what I've heard) it's got me immediately hooked.

    Watching prior seasons on the computer== man, a season or two can take up a day or two. I gotta stop . . . after those last seven episodes of season 4. . .

    he's so sweet

    I've been writing and doing nothing and surfing the net

    all morning.

    Time for lunch.

    But in the absence of these, condoms do help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The pope says combating the spread of AIDS requires a "spiritual and human awakening," friendship for those who suffer, and a "responsible, moral attitude toward sex."

    I hate when people in a place of influence say dumb things. Arrgh!



    Order
  • here




    Notes from the Back Cover
    What do you do when you find yourself in the company of the best poets in the world? You publish them in your magazine, obviously. But what if the poetry is so gripping, sassy, and masterful that for crying out loud, you can't stand it, you have to take it to the next level?

    That's when you put out a compilation. The Best of Boston Literary Magazine features poems, haiku, prose poetry, dribbles, and drabbles, painstakingly culled from a dozen issues which represent not just the best, but the best of the best.

    We're proud to present poets whose work has appeared in just about every magazine out there, in addition to brand new voices that made us say Whoa! I didn't see that coming!

    American humorist Don Marquis once said that writing poetry “is like dropping a rose petal into the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.” Well we say, who wants to hear an echo? For us, watching the petal float scarlet in the air is enough; in fact, it's what we came here for.

    Robin Stratton, 2009
    Newton, Massachusetts
  • Tuesday, March 17, 2009

    random act of kindness

    My daughter and I were out and about downtown. We stopped to get something to drink (yes, I confess a soda) at a restaurant. The clerk handed us cups and told me the total. I searched inside my purse for my debit card but it was no where to be found.

    "Can you just cancel that?" I said. "Sorry."

    We were leaving when another worker asked if we'd gotten our drinks.

    "I don't have my card with me," I explained.

    "She said she'd pay." He pointed to the woman who'd been behind us.

    "I'll get it," she told me.

    Really?

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    not for naught

    I wasn't deterred from my mission to connect but I had to go to the bathroom so my attention was on getting back to my daughter's place.

    The guy on the sidewalk in front of me glanced back a couple of times, but I paid him no attention 'cause I HAD TO GO! Picking up my stride, I was passing him on the left when he said he knew me from somewhere but he couldn't place where.

    I shook my head and over my shoulder, I told him that I was from New Mexico and I'd only been here a few days.

    "Well, you've got a twin," he said.

    "Maybe," I replied.

    "They say everyone's got one somewhere."

    I HAD TO PEE, but okay, okay. . .

    I stopped; turned, looked him in the eyes, gave him the sweetest smile and meant it.

    "I'm kind of in a hurry," I said, "but you have yourself a nice day."

    He nodded. "You already made it that way," he said.

    making it e-z for me not to do this

    Set out this morning to be present with the world and I have found, so far, that the world is not interested. Ha! Lots of people avoid eye contact, and since they can't "see" you, they don't have to deal with you.

    Hmmmmmm

    Monday, March 16, 2009

    Writing today and other stuff

    Going back over the draft of Soldier Boys and working on my novel. Some things to do with the bear biz and then it's back to reading: the empowerment book, the writing book,and the short story collection, "Gorilla, My Love."

    Creative Quote: 3/16/09

    Our voice is our most creative and musical instrument. It has great power to touch our lives and the lives of others.


    --Ted Andrews

    Quote for 3/16/09

    This world, after all our science and sciences, is still a miracle; wonderful, inscrutable, magical and more, to whosoever will think of it.


    --Thomas Caryle

    What I want

    I was thinking of things I wanted and to get back to acting and doing comedy are there on the list. Shortly afterward, there's a notice of a casting call for a new Tyler Perry movie in my email. The call was for stand-ins and extras and although I knew it might not be possible 'cause I need to spend my time on my bear biz, I sent my pic and resume in anyway.

    Just letting the universe see that I will act on my own behalf.

    A lesson in love #2

    By the time, the guy got on the bus, walked down the aisle and sat across from me, I'd already decided who he was. Some things he did when we stopped for breaks only served to verify my summation.

    Later, my sweat jacket over my head, I was trying to sleep but couldn't because he was having a conversation with the guy behind me.

    That only irritated me more but as his conversation went on (I had to listen 'cause I'm a writer and we eavesdrop and because they were the only two talking on the bus), I realized that I was so wrong.

    The lesson was, Gwendolyn?

    That I don't know anything about anyone until they show me who they are. I had stereotyped the guy and the things he did, filtered through my expectations of him, only seemed to support the stereotype. But what I learned was that he was a human being who had gone through some stuff and he was trying to deal with it the best that he could. I learned that he was looking for a way to grow out of his past.

    That's a lot to get out of the conversation. Were they talking long?

    Nope.

    Then how do you know all this?

    'Cause at some point I chose to listen. Not just to his words, but to his inflection. Listened to his hesitations, listened to his fear that maybe it wasn't safe to share what he was sharing, listened to his hope that maybe it was.

    Wow. Anything else you learned?

    Yep. This experience was quite ripe with some things to learn. You won't be happy to hear me say that I looked at him and decided certain things about him. I know we've had this conversation before, but it's habit. One I need to break.

    It's hard.

    Exactly, because I have to learn to be present with everyone. I have to be open and I have to be vulnerable.

    And that does what to you?

    It doesn't scare me as much as it challenges me to step up to a higher level of interaction with people, with myself.

    Some people may try to hurt you. Deliberately.

    I know, but I've been hurt before. Trying to hide the hurt and trying to hide from the hurt is what hurts the most. People will hurt me. People will disappoint me. I will hurt me. I will disappoint me. I will cry, learn from it all and move on.

    Wow, again. You seem to be serious about this.

    I am. It's freeing. At the next break, the guy seemed different to me. He did some things specifically for me. Maybe he was giving to me in the beginning, but I didn't see it because I'd already pegged him and wouldn't see anything outside of what I wanted to see. He gifted me with some kindness, he gifted me with his humanity. I just had to open myself--without judgment -- to receive it.

    Well duh Gwendolyn

    I realized this morning, after working through a few more chapters in that book, that my life is never going to be the same. I stated that I'd never felt so empowered and I realized that everything I feel from this point on, that everything I do, the way I approach people and allow them to approach me will be unlike anything I've experienced before.

    I hope that makes sense.

    There's a quote about stretching one's mind and its inability to return to the previous place; this is where I'm at.

    I can't --and don't want-- to ever going back to where I was.

    It's like when a child first learns to stand and he/she holds onto a table, flexing his/her legs and there's such delight in the knowing that those things underneath you are sturdy enough to hold you up. I'm sturdy enough to hold me up.

    Oh, maybe I'll fall a time or two or twenty. I don't care. I'll face that when/if it happens. Right now I'm so eager to walk this new road until I'm ready to run to that edge of the cliff, jump off and soar. . .

    :)

    Sunday, March 15, 2009

    Writing quote for 3/15/09

    We share stories not to cause separation, but to create connections.

    --Laraine Herrings, from Writing Begins With The Breath

    Quote for 3/15/09

    Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey.


    --Alex Noble

    READ THIS BOOK!




    When I wasn't writing on the Greyhound, I was reading this first novel. Exceptional!

    I gotta get some stuff sent out

    it's the 15th and that's a deadline for submitting to a publication so I gotta go.

    Chris Gaines, Leonardo da Vinci and me

    I was reading one of the books I brought with me. It's called Empowerment-The Art of Creating Your Life As You Want It. It's an old book. I started working through the exercises but never finished the book. It doesn't appear that I got past chapter 2 (I write in books, highlight and such so in a self-improvement book I know how far I got into it).

    The responses I gave to some basic questions-- where am I going? what do I want? are the same I would give today. My wants haven't changed; they just haven't been achieved.


    When I was moving out of the house I was renting, I spent one night listening to my cd singles (remember them? Ha! And I have about 500 cassette singles. Someone suggested I invest in an mp3 player but nah, I'm so old school [except that I can listen to music on my cell phone and as soon as I figure out downloading, I'll put some on but I still won't part with my cd singles and cassettes. Hell, I'd probably still have 8-tracks if my player hadn't been in my car.]

    But again, I've digressed.

    I was listening to Chris Gaines, the fictional character that Garth Brooks created and I thought how not every thing works out the way you want it to. The Chris Gaines thing was somewhat of a failure but you've got to give Garth props for risking. I had been reading old interviews as I packed my writing room up and I was kinda bummed that I had "failed" to complete so much. But I've got an audio tape about thinking like da Vinci which is in my writing room to push me to greater creativity and I realized that maybe like da Vinci, my thinking was ahead of my time. Maybe I didn't fail because somethings didn't happen, maybe I succeeded by risking, by declaring some intention to want something more, something that was waaaaaaaaay outside my belief system at that time.

    But, now, like da Vinci, some of the things I envisioned are becoming manifest. I think I've grown and finally caught up to my truest self, my dreams my desires.

    Working through some chapters in the book last night, there was such a thread of electricity running through me. The whole book is based on the aspect of a journey and we all know I'm always out and about on some kind of journey, but I think this time it's different. Some serendipity, some charmed events, things that truly matter to me.

    I can see clearly where I'm going and for once I can say in all honesty, it's my path and mine alone, although I'm looking forward to all I'll meet along the way and am grateful for those who are walking with me.

    The way I feel right now-- I have never felt so empowered, so real, so me.