Monday, July 31, 2006

Multiple or simultaneous

Annoys me when guidelines say they accept "multiple" submissions but ask to be notified if the story is accepted by another publication. Uh, hello. That's called a "simultaneous" submission.

Mutiple means I'm sending your publication everything I've ever written and letting you sort it out.

Simultaneous means I'm sending your publication my story at the same time I'm sending it to several other magazines. There is only a minute chance that you all will want it, and I'll just wait to see if that happens to sort it out.

For the record, I prefer simultaneous when talking about submitting work.

Other areas, multiple of course. I'm greedy like that.

a new one

I'm beginning work on a new story. Excited 'cause I'm being forced to question what I believe about a certain topic. Is anything really black and white? The older I get, the more confused I am about stuff. No, not because I'm going senile;-P

The world is changing fast even though it remains the same in so many ways-- we can continue to hate one another for just any old reason --so much information, ideas and it takes some questioning and exploration to know what one believes and we're not encouraged to do that.

So, I'm doing some research and reading and I'm enjoying the process of becoming clearer where I stand on this particular subject. I may have the same stance at the end of it as I did when I started off, but I like the idea that I'm willing to walk in the other person's shoes and see what road they've been travelling.

* (yes, I know that last sentence is grammatically incorrect)

July 31 deadline

Oh sure several contests that I wanted to enter but I'm broke.

No entry fee money.


But today's also the deadline to apply to take part in a reading series and I just have to send them some poems and a SASE. Less then 80 cents-- I think I can scrounge that up!

Hey, uh Mel, have you read the Bible? Jesus was Jewish!

Mr. Gibson is an idiot. A huge one.

He obviously gets it from his daddy:
(from a story at

"Days before the release of "The Passion of the Christ," Gibson's father, Hutton Gibson, sparked controversy when he told an interviewer that the Holocaust was mostly 'fiction.' "

Rain quote for 7-31-06 ('cause it's still coming down!!!!!)

I love the rain. I want the feeling of it on my face.

--Katherine Mansfield

Writing quote for 7-31-06

One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper patterns at the right moment.

--Hart Crane

Quote for 7-31-06

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

--Albert Einstein

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Writing quote for 7-30-06

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

--Maya Angelou

Rain quote for 7-30-06 ('cause it's been pouring!!!!!)

Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.
The rain makes running pools in the gutter.
The rain plays a little sellp-song on our roof at night--
And I love the rain.

--Langston Hughes, April Rain Song

Quote for 7-30-06

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.


Chocolate quote for 7-30-06

The chocoholics 12-step program:

- Terry Moore

Friday, July 28, 2006

Writing quote for 7-28-06

All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.

--Ernest Hemingway

Quote for 7-28-06

Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.

-- Unknown

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Colin Farrell is so freaking HOT!!!!!

Saw some still photos of him as he's out promoting "Miami Vice."

YUM meeeee
I was flipping through a woman's magazine and there was an ad for Covergirl featuring Christie Brinkley who's pitching their new mature line. A thought ran through my mind for new copy.

It would read:

"You won't look as good as a 19-year old, but you'll look good for your age."

"This is the last time I'm moving these books."

The other day I was looking for something packed away and I had to move some of the boxes of books that I had no shelves for out of my way. Mostly paperback but enough of them in a box and you're working some muscles.

After five boxes, I thought "After Vermont, I'm never moving these books again." And then I laughed because I've moved over 10 times in my life and EVERY TIME I said that.

But this is the last time.

It is.

No, really. I mean it.

It is!!!!

Writing quote for 7-27-06

I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has to get down to earth.

--Pearl S. BUck

Quote for 7-27-06

To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.

--Katherine Paterson

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I am one happy motherf***er!!!!

No reason in particular and even the thought of going to work later doesn't bother me.

Writing quote for 7-26-06

All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.

-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Quote for 7-26-06

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

-- James Dean

Pizza, sex & chocolate

Some friends and I were discussing the better things that Life had to offer and decided that the above rated in the top. We moved on to discussions of each and got all excited when we started talking about how we liked it.

Yes, hot.

Yes, thick.

Yes, so tempting all you want to do is stuff it in your mouth, enjoying the pleasure of it until you swallow and lick your lips afterward.

mmmmmm. . .

We got quiet, contemplating the very thought of it, and then I said, "You can get that kind of pizza at Godfather's."

Or you could, I corrected because it had been years since the restaurant's departure from our town.

"I never ate there," one woman said.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh," another woman and I groaned in unison. "You have no idea what you're missing!" we told her.

On a whim, I searched for "Godfather's Pizza" on the internet and found the franchise still has some restaurants in operation. There are several in fact within a 200-mile radius from where I'll be living in Vermont.

Yes, I would drive 200 miles for pizza. I plan to.

And, for the record, I'd drive 200 miles, hell even more, for sex and chocolate.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Writer's Alliance is protesting the genocide taking place (and has been for years now) in the Sudan (particularly Darfur) through literature and art.

Speak out, write something, do something.

The sky

I like the way the sky looks
in the evenings.
At first it's blue then purple, then pink.
You look up in the sky
and find a moon and some stars
and then all of a sudden
you realize
it's your bedtime.


My fifteen-year old wrote this when she was in third grade. It was published in a journal, which we found during some packing.

Blogging like that's all

I've got to do in the world.

And it's not ;-P

Living Literature

The arms of a good story embrace the world. Appreciation of good literature is of universal importance: A good story is the interpreter of the age. It is the song, the dance, the rooted image or fundamental picture, functionally, and man's common cultural heritage, aesthetically.

A good story must reveal the character of the author as well as the character of the story. It must have action, inner and outer, psychological and physical. It must have conflict. It cannot be static, it must move. There must be changing situations.

The story must be meaningful and have moral significance aesthetically expressed. It is the art of words, of language used to show taste and skill through detail; it must have style, have verbal atmosphere, have a technique, which reveals the author's manner of performance.

Good literature must be an organic experience. It must reflect the writer's attempt toward objectivity in principle. The writer must find a proper symbol for his intentions. He must know how to express his ideas indirectly. The writer must stimulate our imagination. He must reveal his sense of proportion. The story must be related to time and space.

It is a victory of form over formlessness, a conquering of obstacles by artistic means.

-- Norman C. Gilkisin

I don't have that kind of entry fee money, but you might

Thank you to all participants in the inaugural Virginia Kirkus Literary Award. The finalists have been announced and contacted.

The second annual Virginia Kirkus Literary Award is officially underway!

Deadline: January 1, 2007
Early-Entry Deadline: October 31, 2006
Fee: $135 until October 31, $165 after


Kirkus Reviews, the leading pre-publication book-review journal, has officially launched its second year of the annual search for the Next Big Literary Star. "For this project, Kirkus has turned its well-known abilities in the area of literary criticism and analysis to finding a brand-new voice," said Jerome Kramer, Kirkus Reviews Editor-in-Chief. "You might call it American Idol for the book world."

Kirkus is now accepting submissions for the 2006-2007 literary award, with the winning manuscript to be published by a major New York publisher. To enter your completed yet unpublished, full-length (45,000+ words) novel or short-story collection, please follow the submission guidelines for a chance to win a publishing contract.

Over the past seven decades, Kirkus has reviewed nearly 400,000 books, many of which have gone on to become classics of American literature. This literary competition serves to honor the legendary Virginia Kirkus, the founder of Kirkus Reviews, who had an eye for identifying "sleepers"—books not likely to otherwise receive the attention they deserved.



DEADLINE: January 1, 2007

Full-length (45,000+ words) first novels and short-story collections will be accepted, provided they have never been published and are not under contract for publication.
If you have had a short story published in a literary journal or other publication, your work is still eligible for entry. However, if you have previously published or self-published a novel or short-story collection, your work is NOT eligible.
English translations may be submitted, again so long as they have never been published and are not under contract for publication.
Submission Fees: $135 before October 31, 2006; $165 after
Please submit TWO copies of your manuscript in a single package or box.
Submissions should be double-spaced and printed on 8½ x 11 white paper (two-sided printing is permitted), bound on the left side, using one of the following bindings (do NOT use rubber bands or a three-ring binder):
Plastic coil-binding
In addition to the order form below, please include ONE page with the following information:
Full contact information, including email address
Plot summary
Author biography
For notification of the arrival of your manuscript, please include a self-addressed, stamped postcard.
Please note that due to the volume of submissions, manuscripts will NOT be returned to the author.
NOTE: Failure to follow the submission guidelines could result in disqualification.

Apartment hunting

Scanning the classifieds. Some possibilities that I plan to call about this afternoon. One available 9-15, which might fit into my timeline.

Hopeful-- but I'll live in a motel if I have to. No, really, I would.

If nothing else, somebody not me would make my bed every morning.

Quote for 7-25-06

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Writing quote for 7-25-06

What I like in a good author isn't what he says, but what he whispers.

-- Logan Pearsal Smith

Monday, July 24, 2006

I never watched "Survivor"

so I'm not familiar with Richard Hatch, but according to news reports, he's on his way to prison. The story I read said that he was known as [the] " 'fat naked guy' for refusing to wear clothes."

*That* might not be a good idea behind bars, heh heh

Creative quote for 7-24-06

The role of the artist I now understood as that of revealing through the world-surfaces the implicit forms of the soul, and the great agent to assist the artist was the myth.

-- Joseph Campbell

Quote for 7-24-06

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.


Gwendolyn Mintz, reporting

The freelance job for the newspaper is a go! Yay yay yay-- I have a job in Vermont. I just need to get there!

Happy birthday from Pepsi

I had entered an online contest from Pepsi. They know my birthday from the information supplied.

They sent me an e-card.

I really wished they'd sent the dollar their machine took from me instead.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A line I was needing came to me yesterday

Not in a vision, just in the midst of my writing.

The line, however, goes to another story.

A story I sent out a month ago.

I had to meet a deadline and I opted for just a general description rather than the one I knew I needed since it was eluding me.

But it arrived finally.

I've revised my story. It reads much better; it has in fact, become my third favorite of all of my work.

I can't make the change in the story submitted (yes, I had the audacity to query the editor and ask) so I guess I'll just have to wait to see if it's rejected.

Or is that, make the change "when" it's rejected--ha!

Quote for 7-23-06

Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood.


Artistic quote for 7-23-06

Making art is like giving a gift: evidence of your spirit and that you are here.

--Patty Mitchell

Today, today, today!!

You wake up and you're feeling like Alfie's finally told you what it's all about!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

You wanna work for us?

Are you here? Do you want to freelance for us?

An e-mail in my box about a possible job with a newspaper.

Plan to be up @ 6 Monday morning to call-- time difference and all-- and see if I can get myself gainfully employed in Vermont.


Do not make eye contact with anyone on the bus!

One day I will learn.

The hard stuff

Trudging through some things that are NOT working in my life. Well, resolution hasn't come and that makes me impatient, which is not good.

I'm not trusting. In "A Course In Miracles" (which I bought but never read and eventually sold back to the bookstore that I bought it from, although I kept the quotation flash cards)there is the saying "Patience is natural to those who trust."

So my fretting is, I know, unnecessary and unwise. Everything in its own time. If I don't have all the answers now, maybe I don't need all the answers now. Live the questions, Gwendolyn, instead. Right?

My anxiety is a sign that I'm not living right here in this moment. I need to calm down, do what I can about what's buggin' and then let go.

I'm not at war. Surrender is a good thing.

Writing quote for 7-22-06

The pen is the tongue of the mind.

-- Miguel de Cervantes

Quote for 7-22-06

I'm not comfortable being preachy, but more people need to start spending as much time in the library as they do on the basketball court. If they took the idea that they could escape poverty through education, I think it would make a more basic and long-lasting change in the way things happen. What we need are positive, realistic goals and the willingness to work. Hard work and practical goals.

-- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Friday, July 21, 2006

Looking for a good book?

Then look here

You must read

Claiming myself to be a "writer" was arbitrary. When at eight, having written a poem which pleased my teacher and garnished me a bit of fame in the school, I grabbed hold to that title.

Up until then, I had been defined by those around me. I was:

a heifer,
a heathen,
a waste of God's creative power,
never going to be anything
not worth shit.

Being a "writer" gave me new identity. A postive one. One that my family could not mar completely or take away. But, it was, as I said, an arbitrary decision.

At nine, I taught myself to sew, by 12, I was designing and making my own clothes. At 11, I discovered I could replicate what I saw onto a piece of paper using a pencil, pen, or crayon. At 11, I also learned I could dance and at 14 could choreograph. At 14, I also learned I had a comedic flair.

I could have chosen any of these-- I'm a seamstress/fashion designer; I'm an artist; I'm a dancer; I'm a comedienne-- but the writing thing happened first. I held onto that for dear life and yes, it was that very thing that saved my soul but I'm willing to relinquish that now. I have been gifted with talents and I am grateful for them, but neither combined, nor one alone, defines me.

I am not what I do. Who I am is defined, I have learned and decided, by the amount of love I allow into my heart and how I use it in my life and in the lives around me.

I am a sometimes silly creation of a benevolent God. Though I may at times behave angelically, I am humbled by the knowledge of my position in the scheme of things. I am sure of only one thing in this world and that is that laughter and tears will heal your soul.

My name is Gwendolyn. I am me.


Creative quote for 7-21-06

The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.

--Julia Cameron

Quote for 7-21-06

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

--e.e. cummings

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Submission #4 comes back

"We're taking a break -- not reading."

So it wasn't accepted, but it wasn't REJECTED!


It's not about smiling at men. It's really about yielding to the masculine essence, recognizing and respecting it for what it is.

Just follow the stage directions, Gwendolyn

I've been involved in a metaphorical love story called "The Maiden King." That is the big story but a subplot was another story called "The Skeleton Woman." I didn't do what I was supposed to in that story because it would have meant that I risked my heart in a way that I'd never done and I refused to do that because I was ever so slightly SCARED that it would blow up in my face.

But we can rewrite stories, edit or do whatever is necessary to make sure the plot takes us to the end we desire. So I'm back in the tale(s) and this time I'm sticking to the script!

At the end of "The Maiden King," the couple comes together and live happily ever after. But before that happens, the feminine character travels to a place because there her love is waiting for her.

I have to go somewhere. I don't believe it's absolutely literal, though I am moving. In mythical stories, we are a character and we are all of the characters and all of the tale is about us, so I feel that the place I have to go to is within me.

That fascinates and yes, scares me. But I'm going! A journey into a part of me that is unexplored territory and when I emerge, I will have the courage to fully play my part in the tale of "The Skeleton Woman" and then be prepared to find my love represented in physical form.

I have no idea who he will be-- four different men have played the part of the male in the story (in "The Maiden King" the masculine and feminine have four encounters). Again, with the excitement! And the curiosity. I've got to start smiling at all men again. 'Cause it could be him. Or him. Maybe him. Ha! Hey Dude, it could even be you;-)

Well, I guess that takes care of that

My work/my calling/my true "job" while I walk this earth has been revealed. What I always thought and have been working toward but I will not travel the route I believed I would in order to accomplish it.

Writing will be a part of my job description but it will not be the "big" part. For so long I denied myself the writing I wanted to do, the poetry and the short stories, and I thought years ago when I made a place for that very thing that I would never want to do anything else but. You could not have told me that I would ever want to do otherwise, but I'm bowing to what is being asked of me and I'm so okay with it. I will tell stories, but not primarily through printed words.

And I will not be moving anywhere in New England or to Maine. I will be going to the city in Vermont that was decided for me previously because I need to learn something at the college there to prepare me for what I'm to do.

A passport (I haven't found the $100 I can just spend on it! but I will.) and a meeting with this guy in Boston, MA and I'm more or less ready.

It's so perfect that even the care of my three kids is accomodated!

Writing quote for 7-20-06

Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.

--John Jakes

Quote for 7-20-06

Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness.

-- Unknown

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Creative quote for 7-19-06

To think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted.

--George Kneller

Quote for 7-19-06

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.

-- Kahlil Gibran

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Streets of San Francisco

Creative quote for 7-18-06

The truly creative individual stands ready to abandon the old classifications and to acknowledge that life, particularly his own unique life, is rich with new possibilities.

-- Frank Barron

Quote for 7-18-06

i thank you God for this
day: for the leaping greenly
spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;
and for everything
which is natural, which is
infinite, which is yes.

--e.e. cummings

A view from my yard

Monday, July 17, 2006

Writing quote for 7-17-06

The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.

-- Albert Camus:

Quote for 7-17-06

Happiness is your own treasure because it lies within you.

-- Prem Rawal

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Creative quote for 7-16-06

Making art is good for your health, especially if it is done in fun.

-- Orythia Johnston

Quote for 7-16-06

Success rests with the courage, endurance, and above all, the will to become the person you are, however peculiar that may be. . . Then you will be able to say, "I have found my hero and he is me."

-- George Sheehan

Saturday, July 15, 2006

She wasn't a sex ed teacher, so what did she expect?

A former teacher has sex with a student and goes to prison -- deservedly so.

She's guilty of sexual abuse-- HE'S A CHILD!!!! -- and she's stupid besides.

Stay away from him, she's ordered and what does she do? Send pictures and videos. Who does she think she is--Mary Kay Letourneau?

: (

Eleven years ago, my children and I arrived home. We got out of the car and were heading to the front door when we noticed something moving across the front lawn.

It was a baby turtle!

Of course, I claimed it for myself.

Stan was sooooo cute but he died. I'll miss the way he fascinated me for a decade +.

I don't have to work today

and that feels soooooooooooooo good.

Creative quote for 7-15-06

What makes for great art is the courage to speak and write and paint what you know and care about.

-- Audrey Flack

Quote (bilingual) for 7-15-06

Life isn't an answer, life is the question, and you, yourself are the answer.

La vida no es una respuesta, la vida es la pregunta, y tu, tu mismo eres la respuesta.

--Ursula K LeGuin

Friday, July 14, 2006

Maybe Maine

I always wanted to live in either Portland. Oregon or Maine-- made no difference to me.

Now, suddenly Maine is tempting me. I have beaches and lighthouses.

The plan has changed a bit-- drive through New England and take a chance on whereever.

"Just as long as it's a quaint town," my daughter says.

Just as long as there's water nearby, I think.

Creative quote for 7-14-06

When the danger to the will is greatest, art approaches as a saving sorcerer, expert at healing.

--Frederich Nietzche

Quote for 7-14-06

Let go of the old world and the new one will grow around you like a new skin.

--Paul Williams

Working gets in the way of living

It so freaking does.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Meet Ramesh Avadhani

He's here.

I'm supposed to write today

and doing the blog thing DOES NOT count, Gwendolyn !!!


I'm off-- a story wants to be sent somewhere.

Creative quote for 7-11-06

Creativity: a type of learning process where the teacher and pupil are located in the same individual.

--Arthur Koestler

Quote for 7-11-06

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

--Japanese Proverb

Monday, July 10, 2006

Writing quote for 7-10-06

Write from the soul, not from some notion what you think the marketplace wants. The market is fickle; the soul is eternal.

-- Jeffrey A. Carver

Quote for 7-10-06

Every man dies - Not every man really lives.

-- William Ross Wallace

Rain quote for 7-10-06

Here the rain is everything.

-- Marjory S. Douglas

Yes, that was me and my daughter Kara

dancing in the rain last night. Another occasion of it coming down is reason to celebrate!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Quote for 7-09-06

Nothing happens unless first we dream.

-- Carl Sandburg

Creative quote for 7-09-06

Creativity is a central source of meaning in our lives...
[and] when we are involved in it, we feel that we are living
more fully than during the rest of life.

--Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

knit one, purl two

Okay, I haven't learned to purl yet. Maybe this week if I can get into the yarn shop to see how it's done. But I'm learning to knit. First lesson yesterday.

Nothing like I expected. Needles are bamboo and not any kind of metal. Yarn and yarn and beautiful, beautiful yarn. I could do some major damage in that store, but no! I'm still trying to make my way through the 15+ yards of fur I bought in February. Still I could get really crazy! And all the gadgets! A stitch counter-- of course I need one!

And that sweater I'll knit for you -- yes, the one with one arm shorter than the other. YOU WILL WEAR IT and you'll love me for it ;-)

Friday, July 07, 2006

Writing quote for 7-07-06

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

--Elie Wiesel

Quote for 7-7-06

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.


Hoping to get *lucky* tonight

Maybe all of my children will have someplace to go tonight and I can put Tchaikovsky on, sit in the dark with the door open and simply watch the rain come down.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

It's cloudy and overcast and sure to rain today!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Creative quote for 7-06-06

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.

-- Erich Fromm

Quote for 7-06-06

Never, never, never give up.

--Winston Churchill

The answer is in a book

Of course, it is. In the back of my head, I'm wondering why all my fears are suddenly sprouting and this morning I open a book I'm reading and BOOM--

". . . overcoming fear is an integral part. . . of creativity.. . "

I am giving myself permission to be creative in ways I never allowed previously.

Creativity is courage. Courage is the ability to act in spite of one's fears. I can't exhibit courage without the fears and I can't be creative if I don't have courage so it all makes sense ;-)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I love the quiet

that comes on July 5th.

Quote for 7-5-06

If I have no children what would be the point of living.

-- Sheena Easton

Writing quote for 7-5-06

Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.

-- Andre Gide

It's raining


What *exactly* is going on, Gwendolyn?

The other day, I turned the volume up on the flirting with that guy and a part of me was like-- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I don't know.

I went to Hastings because a book was calling me. At the register, I found out it was $2.50; all used books were on sale for $2.50 so I went off looking for another book or twenty at that price.

Later at home, the answers were all there. Two of the books were by the same author, dating and creating love on a spiritual path and there was a line in one about not getting detoured on the way. Hmmmm, you talking to me? I get close to what I want and I start sabatoging it. Explored my motivation and it's, of course, fear.

Up close, there's the possibility of revealing who I really am and is she really enough? Is she worth it? What I don't know about myself and what I've been through--if it scares me, would it make you run?

I'm afraid! Gawd, I've always been afraid.

"One day, sweetie, the gig is going to be up and there's going to be an accounting." Why won't that voice just leave me alone?

I know it's not true. It's not.

But still too often I feel it is.

I think I'm gonna have to comb my hair for this

Wanna see my picture on the cover

Wanna buy five copies for my mother

Wanna see my smilin' face

On the cover

-- Dr. Hook


The woman who asked me to be the July interview for her literary magazine ran into some problems and so she bumped it until later this year. No problem.

We'd have to get together soon for the cover shot, she said.

Cool and YIKES! I don't like taking pictures, but I love the idea of being on the cover.

ha ha ha

I find it quite amusing, though I'm sure Mr. Steinbrenner does not.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Favorite song of the moment

"Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls.

Is that the perfect song to strip to or what?

Well, that's one contest I won't be winning

Friday I was preparing one of two entries only to find that July 1st was not the postmark deadline-- that was May 31st. July 1st was the day that the winner would be announced. I don't think it's gonna be me;-)

Did I say that?

"Hey, the next time you and I have the same days off, I want to take you to lunch," this guy at work told me.

"Can't," I told him. "I wouldn't want to be seen in public with you."

He laughed. "No, really, I was thinking about what you told me the other day and I think you have some insight into relationships and I'd like to hear some more."

"The other day" he'd told me about a situation where his partner felt he wasn't there when she needed him.

"She thinks you abandoned her," I'd said.

"I did," he admitted.

"Well, then, she needs to just deal with her feelings of abandonment and forgive you."

"But I wasn't there for her."

"And she has to deal with her feelings of abandonment and forgive you."

Nothing else, I told him, that could be done. Was that really me talking?

Later, I realized that I'd grown in my thinking.

In relationships we hope for and promise so much and then when the other fails us, we're devastated. But we're all just doing the best we can do at any given time, given our histories and ways of thinking and being in the world.

Realizing this, I decided I could forgive this man that I'd opened myself up to and felt that he, in the end, betrayed me. I was having a HUGELY DIFFICULT time forgiving him, but I'm working that exercise where you forgive past loves and let go.

So I set out to forgive him, but found that I couldn't. There was suddenly no need for it. What I did instead was to bless him.

The "wrong" I was thinking that he'd committed against me was actually the light that illuminated another dark place in my soul that I refused to acknowledge. The pain I felt was actually just that part of me, asking to be healed. I cried for me and for him.

I lit a candle, held him in my heart for a final time and then said goodbye, wishing him the most beautiful of things.
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

--E.L. Doctorow

Quote for 7-3-06

The only true joy on earth is to escape from the prison of our own false self, and enter by love into union with the Life Who dwells within the essence of every creature and in the core of our own souls.

-- Thomas Merton