"Celebrate the year that was and will be"

Isn't that a beautiful idea? Off an e-card I received. Let's all do that.

See you next year.

I just hit the big 6-0!

-- though 13 story drafts are just crazy ramblings I'll try to shape into something meaningful and coherent at a later date;-) but I'm 40 stories away from completing that goal of writing 100.

5 accepted/published; 95 to go (though I have 8currently in submission).

Not much writing will get done this week. Long days at work, it's looking like a 40+ hour work schedule, so I'll just keep reading-- the writing book up next is "The Art of Writing" from a writer's workshop kit and the short stores of Anton Chekhov.

Not too much writing, also, 'cause I'm just plain tired!

You're spoiling me

Another acceptance and I just submitted the story last night. "The Dying Room" will appear in Static Movement in January.

It's something different from me.

I'm loving this almost instanteous acceptance.

You're up

watching "A Christmas Story," aren't you?

Creative quote for 12/24/06

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.

--Allen Ginsberg

Quote for 12/24/06

Love only works these days when entered into for loving reasons -- to extend and expand, to give and to grow, to bless and to be blessed.

--Katherine Woodward Thomas

Writing quote for 12/23/06

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.

--Leo Rosten

Quote for 12/23/06

I guess it took a little time for me to see
The reason I was born into this world
And what I'd have to go through
Before I'd finally realize that I could be infinitely better than before, definitely stronger
I'll face whatever comes my way, savor each moment of the day,
Love as many people as I can along the way
Help someone who's given up, if it's just to raise my eyes and pray.

--from "Always Tomorrow"
by Gloria Estefan

I'm not the only one up late working

The editor at a pub just dropped me a note. Two poems accepted! Yay!
"Poem Written After Reading 'Eugene In Castillo'" and an untitled work upcoming in Lunarosity.

Zen In The Art of Writing

Almost finished Bradbury's essays.

Inspirational.

What he recalls about himself being a boy loving words and language and life pushed me to become reacquainted with that girl who'd jump a fence most days after school to get to the public library where she'd lose, and more importantly find, herself in a book.

Another acceptance!

Yay!

There was a time when it seemed every magazine wanted a Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz story. I rarely got rejected. And then there was a period when it felt all I was getting was rejected. I much prefer the yeses.

("Wading" will appear in Poor Mojo's Almanac(k). I like them a lot. Every five acceptances gets you something. Clothing or liquor. When I was in San Francisco, Morgan (one of the editors) paid up and bought me dinner. I got a cool t-shirt once. Maybe this time, I'll go for a margarita, frozen with x-tra salt.)

Sometimes it's just too early in the morning for me

The story was accepted and published yesterday. (I went back and read the whole note.)
Find "Panties" here. Click fiction and then new fiction.

The acceptance

is a micro called "Panties" and it's gonna be in Barfing Frog Press. Yay! 97 acceptances to go;-)

Step away from the computer, Gwendolyn

I am way tired. Realized that yesterday when I was thinking about a story I'd just submitted and realized I'd changed a character's name mid-story. And on the same day, I lost/misplaced/no longer had in my possession my notebook that I carry to jot down ideas and lines. I'd just bought it so there wasn't much in it, but if there had been. . .

So, this week, I'm just going to read about writing (next up: Zen in the Art of Writing) and work on writing exercises.

Work is kicking my butt 'cause there are Christmas parties and catering and I agreed to extra hours and then I get home and push myself to write. And sometimes it's a hit (just got an acceptance) or it's a miss (a very quick rejection of the above mentioned story. The editor pointed out a few inconsistencies, somehow she missed the name change.)

It's time to just step back. Next week, I'll plunge back into the actual writing of things.

"Writing from the inside out"

is the writing book I just finished.

Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
Find it here.

So let's celebrate!

Because, yes, I got my two stories out. I did miss one deadline, but got a story to the magazine that I'd really wanted to submit to. The second story went out later and to a different place than I had first intended but that was okay because it wasn't ready and I couldn't do anything to force the lines.

Believe me, I tried. But stories don't happen always when you want them to and sometimes that's a very good thing. Patience, patience, patience.

So I think I deserve something 'cause another story will go out tomorrow.

That bear at Sears was awfully cute.

So was that pair of black heels in the window at Cathy Jean.

Or a book! Where is that new Borders coupon???

I can breathe!

Wrong about the scholarship deadlines. A bit later. Then just two stories I will have to complete.

So I can breathe, though I'll still be up all night.

Not heavy breathing 'cause I still won't be up, you know.

That stinks, too

Reading period closes for two mags I want to submit to. Deadline to apply for some scholarships.

I will be up all night and it won't be 'cause I'm, well, you know.

That stinks!

A 40% coupon from Borders good only today and me with 13 cents to my name.

Writing quote for 12/08/06

I'm a writer. I don't cook and I don't clean. . .

--Dorothy West

Quote for 12/08/06

I am at peace with the community of life.

--Louise Hay

The headline reads "Bush says new approach needed in Iraq"

No sh** Sherlock.

I haven't decided if I'm going to rebraid my hair. In the meantime, I wear it pulled back in a bun.

The man on the bus, on the seat behind me, leans forward and tells me, over my shoulder, "I like that you wear your hair natural like that. That you don't color it."

"There's nothing wrong with a few grey hairs," I tell him, turning around to face him. "Means you've lived a little."

He leans back, stroking his chin. "I don't let my beard grow 'cause I don't want anyone to see all the grey."

He's quiet for a moment, then says, "So you've lived a little?"

I think of the entirety of my life and can't help but grin as I turn back around. Yeah, Mister, just a little.

Quote for 12/6/06

Live as though you had ten thousand years, or ten minutes.

--A Shaker saying

Writing quote for 12/606

If my relationship with a text is dyanmic enough, I am rewritten by what I write.

--Gruden

It's a nice story

the one I was about to submit to a mag today, but it wasn't a great story. So I decided to put it aside and dig a little deeper 'til/till/til I have what will make the story soar.

My ego was disappointed. It would have been 9 things out==9 possible publications, but I'm trying not to feed my writing ego these days. I'm trying to feed my writing soul.

Searching for a pot o' gold

Actually just some scholarships. Doing the financial aid thing and I won't be a grad student so the amount of $$$ I got previously to attend school will not be there. But there's money out there--I just gotta find it;-)



The school I'll be attending is a technical college, but an accredited college nonetheless, which means that come January I will be enrolled and eligible to enter the Atlantic Monthly writing contest for college students and the writing contest (for writers of African descent) sponsored by the Hurston/Wright Foundation. Those opportunities I am sooooooooo looking forward to.

Creative quote for 12/05/06

All serious daring starts from within.

--Eudora Welty

Quote for 12/05/06

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

--Harriet Beecher Stowe

No, I won't become a Dallas fan, but I gotta

give them props.

They're always playing on the tvs at the bar--what can I say? Yesterday's game was great to that last 6 seconds, wasn't it?

I not out to buy a blue and white jersey, but I'll stop referring to them as the plowboys;-P

how cool is that

a radio station that plays an hour of the Beatles every Sunday and a classic rock that gives you a Zepplin 'fix at six.'

till or til or 'til

We're talking about the shortened form of 'until.'

Which is it?

What I didn't get for Christmas

"Are you going to the Christmas party?" that guy at work asked me.

"I don't know," I replied.

"You know if you go, Gwen, you could have your choice of good-looking, young men, me included."

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

little boys

little boys

little boys. . .

Writing quote for 12/4/06

You're a writer and that's something better than being a millionaire--because it's something holy.

--Harlan Ellison

Quote for 12/4/06

Sound the note that calls your soul to you.

--Sanaya Roman

Yes, I did

write another work today. Yes, yes, it was a micro. Seems I'm doing a lot of that but it's still a story, so there;-p

I'm three for three. And I got a poem out.

And the moon is glorious and somehow the world seems right:)

But it hasn't been all butterflies and roses

The other night the city bus ran out of gas (really) and while we were sitting there in the dark, a line came to me and I started following its trail--it looked like it would be one of those stories that writes itself--but I made myself stop because I didn't have pen and paper to get it down. I thought I'd write it once I got home, but then when I arrived, I could't remember a thing.

And the deadline for a contest I wanted to enter came and went without my submission getting dropped into the mail.

I'm ambivalent about the photo I'm thinking of sending to Amazon.com for the short story, but I don't have another pic and I really need to get that contract back ASAP.

Darn it.

I like submission

Actually I like getting published, but the submitting thing has to happen first.

Poems (reprints) out today to an anthology and unpublished but older stuff out to a literary mag. Hopefully four more and the last of the "good stuff" out tomorrow, but it's a loooong day at work (double-shift) and the Christmas party afterwards which I may or may not attend.

Still have four micros ready to go out, but two of the magazines I wanted to submit to are closed to submissions. One, the second time I've missed the reading period this year!

One of my daughters did not like it here so the two of them left yesterday back to Las Cruces and the returning one has strict instructions to find my disks and rough drafts and bring them to me. About 11 stories I could tweak and get out. I'm almost a third of the way there (in terms of having stories). Almost. Gonna try for my month of flashes this month. It's the second of December. I've written two flashes. I'm on a roll;-)

Sent two stories out so now there are three

in submission.

If they get accepted, then I will have completed 5.

Only 95 submissions/acceptances to go. Ha ha.

Damn Michael Jackson and the lot of them

Thin Lizzy hawking a pair of jeans?????

Aretha and is it furniture polish?????

And if the Beatles are bastardized one more time. . .

Arrrgh.

Advertisers can really ruin it, you know.

Got semi -admitted to the media arts program!

Have a few things to do-- $50 admission fee, heh heh-- and the admission process is on track. Am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited. I was getting all giddy reading about the program. Classes start up for a new term in January. Enough time for me to get myself resettled and (insert laughter here) ORGANIZED!! Ha, ha ha. First is a screenwriting course, a computer graphics and some general education, which I may or may not see if I can substitute prior credit for. On one hand, I wouldn't have to take the courses. On the other hand, I would get an A+ in English 111, now wouldn't I???


Anyway, got the number for an organization that's shooting a movie here and looking for crew members. Thinking of volunteering just to get my feet wet again.

Bebe Moore Campbell has died

Her book "Your Blues Ain't Like Mine," a fiction based on the Emmett Till murder is a powerful and incredible piece of writing. Among the books of hers I've read, it remains my favorite.

You can read it here:

http://www.maynardi je.org/columns/ dickprince/ 061127_prince/

and briefly about her here.

All I want for Christmas

Okay, I don't do Christmas; I just love buying the stuffed bears and mooses and penguins and the gingerbread men cookies that come out during this particular time.

I don't give gifts, but I accept them;-)

So if you were thinking of giving me something, I'd so love the new book by Alice McDermott or the new short story collection from Margaret Atwood.

You're so generous and kind. Thanks.

My heart's every desire

Sometimes, like today, I'm feeling like I truly can have every one of them and I'm willing to say YES to whatever I need to in order to do just that.

Yes, yes, yes!

Ready, set. . .

Some of the reasons I'm currently where I am: To get some serious writing done and to relearn some media skills.

The day before I left New Mexico, there was a commercial about a school offering tech skills so that one might become an editor, production assistant, etc.

I was thinking I needed something short term like that and I waited for the location of the college. It was in the same city I was moving to! Even crazier, when my friend Carrie and her husband Dennis picked me up, I was telling them about the things I was hoping to accomplish while I'm here and I mentioned the college and Dennis teaches there! Next week I'm going to start the process of getting enrolled. Looking forward to it.

Part of it is a healing thing. In college I had to take some journalism prerequites and then I could move into my chosen division. The first professor I had in the production side said that journalism wasn't a field for women as well as some other unprofessional things. Teri, a student in the class, and I would bitch about him but neither of us ever thought to complain to the dept. Hell, we were paying to be taught not demeaned. Anyway, the class was divided up to do a televison project and I held a position that others had previously messed up when it was their turn. Lucky for me I grew up having learned to keep my cool and focus when everything's crazy around me. And in a tv studio, so many things have to happen simultaneously, that it can quickly get crazy. I kicked ass though -- so well that the prof commented me before the class when he was critiquing my group's work(begrudingly but what else could he say?). But still I never really felt comfortable in classes after that, felt like I didn't belong, so by enrolling in this media arts program, I will be reclaiming my right to be in the field and also building on the competence, smarts and creativity I already possess. Let's see what vision I can bring to the screen now.

I'm also trying to get some things finished. I'm the cover story for the December issue of a literary magazine back in Cruces and I had directed the editor to several previous interviews that I had done. Rereading them myself, I was dismayed to find that many of the things I'd said I was doing were still undone. So this week I'm pulling together two chapbooks and I'd have four of those six mentioned in an interview done. Some chapbook contests I might enter. I'm also looking at small presses. And Lulu.

I'm ready. And some things are now set.

I just have to shoot the starting gun. I just have to let myself go.

A thirty-minute commute to work and then again, back

Time enough to write a micro story. So today I did.

And speaking of books

I found another collection of stories-- Flash Fiction Forward that I didn't have enough for, I found when I got to the register, but I didn't ask to have the book held. Not a good thing. It's in the store somewhere, but not any where I (nor the information clerk) can find it.

There's also another book I want called "The Art of the Short Story" which takes a critical look at certain stories and it has essays by famous authors regarding techniques, etc.

Would love to use the Borders coupon to cut the price on that one, but Borders also is selling "It's a Wonderful Life" and well, I just love Jimmy Stewart and all. I'll have to pull out the board game that covers the movie. I was supposed to be living in the northeast and Susan was gonna come over.

Ah, well. There will be no snuggling this winter. Too hot, no snow.

Will probably change the menu from hot chocolate to Margaritas on the rocks.

New collection of short stories

I found a short stories collection at Borders which featured "new voices." It's called "Pieces" and was published in part by MTV.

I've gotten through four of the stories and they are INCREDIBLE. Awed and jealous at the same time. When I'm done, I'm gonna review the book and should my review be published, I'll hook you up with the link. There are some stories in there (if you are a lover of the short story) that you should definitely read.

If no takers for my review, then we'll just publish it right here. Hoping to get through this week. Definitely a book you stay up late at night with.

I'm thinking you're like 35. . .

I've met this guy here who is Young Enough To Be My Son. (Asked him to guess my age. Off ten years, his first guess.) Yes, it's cute when he flirts but if he were serious in any remote sense, I would say no. I rarely go five years difference either way ('cept I'd make a huge exception for Mr. De Niro were he divorced and interested in me).

Back in New Mexico, a few years ago, there was this guy who kept asking me out. I told him not possible, 'cause he was half my age ("Think stamina" he told me--ha!). I was telling my kids later that night that he asked me out again.

"Oooh," my oldest daughter said. "Gwen gets her groove back."

Uhm, hello. I told her I so never lost it;-)

007

Saw the latest Bond flick. Roger Moore will forever remain my fav, but this new Bond is a contender. The film had surprises and thrills. I was expecting a lot of gadgets and technology(though there is a "first aid" kit which is a surprise) but got story/character development instead.

Love those kind of movies the best.

Like you've never called a black person a nigger

That black guy who cut you off in traffic and under your breath you called him *that* -- the "n" word. It came out so easily and you relished the momentary high 'cause it felt so powerful but then you were shocked and embarassed because you aren't a racist. . . are you?


---------------------------------------


Richards' tirade wasn't about race although he latched onto a sterotype--it was about power. Getting heckled on stage is HELL HELL HELL. He wasn't in power and he simply chose the easier way to tip the scales. Society taught him how to do that (we still label people to keep them beneath us), but what Richards didn't understand was you're not to say it outloud. GASP!

We need to hear from someone with some experience here. Can someone get Mel on the line, to talk to Michael.

We need to hear from Eminen-- how many times has he called Dre or 50 a nigger when he was angry?

We need to all go to Seinfield's house and watch "Crash."

Reconstructive surgery

Decades ago I lost all of my disks with no hard copies of stories. I rewrote one several years ago and although it didn't seem to me to have the same "feel" as when I first wrote it, people who read it thought it had something, it was published, end of story. Sorta. I was going to include it in a chapbook I'm readying for a contest and I just am so ambivalent about it. I miss the original.

What really sucks is that there were four other stories that I really liked and they're gone and I'm scared to attempt to reconstruct them. Okay, one I don't mind because I've decided on a whole new approach to it--switching protag from female to male, switching the pov from 1st to 3rd limited-- but the others -- I'm just paralyzed at the thought.

I try to tell myself that writing them now would give them the value of my experience, but in my writer's heart, I think that the stories were the best when I first wrote them and whatever I might write now will be second-hand. So I don't do anything about them and that frustrates me. I'm afraid to try and rewrite but I won't throw away the notes in that folder; instead I fret over them.

Ugh, indecision is such a bitch.

When I get married

I want my pictures done by Anna and Steven Wing.

misc.

I've got two numbers for comedy clubs in the area. Gonna call to see if there's an open mic and maybe possibly get back on stage. Test the waters and see if I'm still funny. Write some new material. Feel the joy of laughter all around me and knowing that I created it.

--------

Talked to a man at the one of the organizations that Delano Lewis(the former U.S. Ambasador to South Africa) directed me to. I think it's a fit there. They were looking for someone to do exactly what I want to do. Coincidence? Nah, I really think not.

-------

First thing in the morning

getting up and going to work.

Really stinks when it's the last thing you want to do.

ooooooh another acceptance and a rejection. oh.

So the acceptance doesn't count in the 100 subs (I write 100 new stories, sub and publish 100 new stories) I'm trying to complete. It is a reprint of a work that appeared on a site that is now defunct. But the former mag "The Apricot" was wonderful and Poor Mojo's (where it will show up at some point) is more than wonderful so it all works out.

I'm ready for 2007

or at least I want 2006 to be over already. What a year this was. I'm not exactly calling it a bust because there were some things that helped me move along but it certainly didn't go the way I thought it would back in December 2005.

Besides, there's a beautiful sunflower calendar I want to buy from Borders.

Do you need a copy editor?

I was reading a book about writing and was dismayed at the spelling errors until I got to a point where I understood the writer was from England. Ha!

***

In a review for one of Edward Jones' books at Amazon.com, a person said that he/she gave up reading it because of the grammatical errors. When I was reading "All Aunt Hagar's Children," I found that there were more errors than I would have liked-- cause used for a shortened 'because' but cause is what makes something happen so the word should appear as 'cause.

But the bigger thing is that in the story "Root Worker" which is an excellent read and from a writer's standpoint, an incredibly structured work, Jones says the girl is ten in one place and then says she's twelve in another. (He will leave a scene and come back to it later, sometimes much later, in the work.) I read and re-read to make sure I was a dunce, but no, he's not consistent and the copy editor at Amistad is slacking off.

Or maybe they need one.

I called and asked. No, really. I called HarperCollins and spoke to an editor who said she'd pass my message on.

The writing life

Two acceptances; a poem and a micro story. So now I have one work out. Just one? I used to keep at least 50 works (reprints included) in submission at any given time. I need to get busy submitting.

But I need stories first.

Was thinking I'd write a novel during November (ha ha) but we know how last year went. Cried "uncle" after three, four days?

What I decided to do was simply write every day during November. Thirteen days now. Much of my writing (hard copies, disks and all) got left behind (my move was rushed and sloppy and harried) so I'm writing all new stuff until I go back and get the rest of my things. A work called "An Early Fall" about a boy who witnesses his father kill someone was finished (well, the rough draft)Sunday. Decided yesterday to write a story from the newspaper. A nine-year old killed herself and of course that article struck me. After work I churned out close to a thousand words. When I'm done here, it's exercising and morning pages and then back to the story.

I'm beginning to see a change in my writer's world. I used to not work seriously on stories until I had the end line (I want to know where this is going) but I haven't a clue in this new story about what's going to happen. Opening myself up to new ideas. I know it's about the aftermath and what happens to a couple when their child, a young child, has killed herself. Have to go deep inside myself and feel (no tears for the writer, no tears for the reader, someone said.)

And of course there are parts of the process that are always exciting and fun---Watch me pull a story out of my hat.

Hmmm, hope I'm so unlike Bullwinkle and I bring the right hat!

I think I'll become a Cowboys fan

Not!

But I'm impressed with Romo. Sunday's game against the Cardinals was on at my job. He's good and the other teams are sometimes very, very sloppy. Adds up to a Dallas win. Damn them.

O. Henry Awards

Edward Jones' story "Old Boys, Old Girls" (from his recent collection "All Aunt Hagar's Children") was chosen.

Read it!!!!!

Who'd of thunk

So I just might like it here. It's temporary 'cause the Northeast remains the goal/dream/desire & damn it, I'll have to move those books again (aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh, but oh well and okay.

In the meantime:

Godfather's Pizza

a funky clothes store with a Ms. Pac Man arcade game on the second floor (and it's only a quarter to play!)

a Borders bookstore


I'll keep looking for more reasons.

George W. Bush

on the campaign trail. Watching a news clip and as he's entering the plane, he's being instructed by someone off to the side not to hit his head on the airplane panel just as you enter.

HA ha ha

I wonder who helps wipe him.

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth & other misc. ramblings

Life suddenly decided it had something instead of what I'd planned in store for me. Tomorrow, I am catapulted out of New Mexico but I ain't going nowhere near Vermont:(

Life decided to take me elsewhere--WEST and to the one place (southern states aside) that I said I would never ever never ever never never never never live--Ha! What a sense of humor Life has! Anyway, I know some of the reasons--another one given to me just today -- so I'm okay with it. In fact I'm actually looking forward to this. I am going to choose to believe that I am where I am supposed to be for whatever reasons. No real snowmen for me this year (Hobby Lobby ornament aisle, here I come) but I'll get to fence again and that so thrills me. En guard!

--------------

John Kerry is right! That fucking Congress has renegotiated financial aid so that those who most need a college education can't get much government money to do so but the U.S. will damn well support your ass if you put it on the line in Iraq (but for only as long as you stay alive--that's the only catch.)

-------------

I hate the Dallas Plowboys but that was a great game against Carolina. They certainly pulled that one out. Panther mistakes (and man were there A LOT!!!!) didn't hurt--HA!!!!-they helped.

Wish I could have been the one comforting Jake Delhomme ;-P

------------

Next year, N.Y Mets.

-----------

Still plugging away on those stories. Few in submission. I'm going to just do a horrendously massive submission when I've got a real huge chunk of them done. Just writing and finding that sometimes I just surprise myself with what I can do.

----------

A story of mine "Los Prisioneros Pequenos (The Little Prisoners)" is going to be available through the Amazon Short program. Look for it and read it. Course you'll have to buy it first;-P

Quote for 9-29-06

I don't care how old I live; I just want to be LIVING while I am living!


--Jack LaLanne

Writing quote for 9-29-06

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.


--Benjamin Franklin

Finishing another story today

Just barely inching toward the 25 mark. Submitting but everything is coming back. Some stories twice. One, three rejects now. Such is the writer's life, no?

I'll keep writing just the same :)

He's so good for my ego

I ran into this friend yesterday.

We were talking and I was trying to also put some things into my bag. I ended up dropping things and he started teasing me.

"Stop picking on me," I said. "I just got off work and I'm tired."

He said he was thinking of going to the restaurant where I work for lunch. "I went to Hooters instead," he said.

Ah.

He held his hands out to the side and did the balancing scale thing between the restaurants. "Hooters," he said. He added, though, if he'd known I was working, he'd have gone to see me.

"I was in the back; you wouldn't have been able to see me."

"Maybe I would have asked to eat my meal in the back."

I laughed.

He held his hands out again. "Gwendolyn," he said lifting his left hand. " Hooters." The right hand rose.

"Gwendolyn. Hooters. Gwendolyn. Hooters. . . " His hands rose and fell. He smiled at me. He lifted his left hand in finality. "Gwendolyn," he said.

You like Mark Twain?

So I have a small collection of really nice editions of classic books. I'm packing them and find I have three copies of Huckleberry Finn! (I've read none of them.)

I don't need two of them. One has a red cover with gold embossing and design. The other is in a box and it has illustrations by Norman Rockwell. Brand new--never opened.

You want one? Email me and I'll drop one in the mail to you. And the other to you.

Pimpin' Al Green or is it Al Green, pimpin'?

Ignore the outfit.
Enjoy the voice

Something good for you. Really. You can thank me later.

Right here

Maybe Fantasia won't lend him any money

The father of American Idol winner Fantasia is suing the publisher of her book "Life is Not a Fairy Tale" for $10 million because he says he was libeled.

So much easier than getting a job, I suppose.

The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.

--Ferdinand Foch

Writing quote for 9-27-06

I'm a character-driven writer. When I'm working on a story, I am, like in Life,less concerned with what happens to a character (person); I want to know at the end of the tale what he/she became because of what happened.

--Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz

Calling all writers

Info via an online poet's group I belong to:



An intriguing invitation from Debra Leigh Scott, who writes:

I'm a local writer and playwright as well as the Founding Director of
Hidden River Arts, the non-profit literary arts organization here in
Philadelphia (www.hiddenriverarts .org)
I have recently agreed to produce a Book Channel for New Century TV
(www.newcenturytv. com), which is an online tv station in development
here locally. The two founding principals of the station are two of
the men who were behind the earliest development of CD now....and for
anyone who remembers that far back, you know that CD now was one of
the original music promotion sites that changed the face of the music
industry. Book Channel is putting a call out for all writers of
fiction and nonfiction. NCTV is offering a free filming of all
interested writers reading from their material for the purpose of
posting it on the new channel. The posting is also FREE. There is no
cost to the writers for this AT ALL. This channel is dedicated to
presenting the work of writers, both published and unpublished, both
established and emerging. Our goal is to offer a new venue to
writers who are interested in promoting their work. We will link the
video to their websites, their bookseller
websit
es and any other link that will help them to further promote their
work and their booksales.

The channel is still in development; this is a brand new venture. My
goal with this is to do for writers what MTV did for musicians back
in the 80s. I am hoping that we can develop a whole new arena of
possibility for writers, the way that musicians and filmmakers have
developed the internet for promotion and PR purposes.

Anyone interested in taking advantage of the free filming should
contact me at debraleighscott@ comcast.net. Please include your
contact information: name, email address, address, telephone number,
any publication experience, writing experience/backgrou nd information
and anything else you want to tell me about the material you are
interested in reading (I would ask that you submit about 5 pages of a
writing sample for review). Anyone who already has video of
themselves presenting their material should also contact me. We'd be
happy to talk with you about NCTV as a venue for your material.
Again, this is free. I am hoping for a huge response to this because
it's a win/win situation for writers....no cost and 24/7 online
promotion.

Looking forward to hearing from you all!

Sincerely,
Debra Leigh Scott
Producer, the Book Channel
New Century TV
610-733-7382

__._,_.___

Quote for 9-26-06

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

—William James

Creative quote for 9-26-06

Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.

--Bill Moyers

I watch YouTube too much

Favorites:

funny stunts


and

cool choreography

and

my reminder of whom I didn't vote for last election

"All Aunt Hagar's Children" by Edward P. Jones

In his NY Times review, Dave Eggers said "the collection manages to stun on every page; there are too many breathtaking lines to count. "

Just started it and finding that to be so, so true.

Quote for 9-25-06

Nothing is worth more than this day.

--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Writing quote for 9-25-06

If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it.

-- Unknown

Yes, getting the Louisiana Superdome rebuilt was of the utmost importance

F**k those people still homeless. This is America. We've got our priorities.

Nominate something

Also, fiction and non-fiction is NOT limited to
"flash." These submissions can be of any length.

Thank you,

Doug Martin

As a result of a generous grant from Indiana State
University, Snow*Vigate Press will be publishing a
printed anthology of the best on-line writing which
has appeared over the past ten years. Hopefully the
anthology will be released in August 2007.

The book will include poetry broken into lines, prose
poetry, flash fiction, long fiction pieces, creative
non-fiction, and 10 minute plays. If you would like
to nominate your own on-line work or work from others,
please follow these guidelines:

Paste the URLs of no more than 20 works in the body of
your email. You may nominate ONE piece from 20
different writers, or a total of 20 pieces from a
combination of writers (ONE piece from SIX different
writers, FOUR pieces from ONE writer, and 10 pieces of
your own writing, for example). The combination does
not matter, but please limit your submissions to no
more than 20 links. In the subject line of your
email, please type "Submission to Snow*Vigate
Anthology." Send all submissions to
dougmartin832(at)yahoo.com (Replace
(at) with @)

Work from any on-line site is acceptable, as long as
it has not been published in printed form.

The submission period will end on October 15, 2006.

If you have any questions, please contact Doug Martin
dougmartin832(at)yahoo.com (replace (at) with @).

--

Writing quote for 9-22-06

Easy reading is damned hard writing.

--Nathaniel Hawthorne

Quote for 9-22-06

The best things in life aren't things.


--Art Buchwald

I don't get it

I watched "Sesame Street" with my younger brothers and sisters. I loved Cookie and Grover. Elmo is cute but . . .

Still evidently some are crazy about him

Those damn Yankees!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Writing quote for 9-21-06

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a check.

--Brendan Francis

Quote for 9-21-06

Unless he extends the circle of compassion to all living creatures,
man himself will not find peace.

--Albert Schweitzer

Pay up or you die

Someone or someones has/have threatened to start shooting people in the city at random unless city officials pay up.

In this morning's newspaper, we were told that Friday is the deadline.

What bothers me, of course, is the disregard for life and the love of money that would drive people to crazy extremes (and it is the love of and not the money itself which is the root of evil).

I'm not sure if I'm scared. I'm not looking to die anytime soon and certainly not as some random act. If I'm going to die, let it be heroic--I was trying to do something and Death stepped in.

Of course, I'm doing my grocery shopping for a loooooooooooong while today and I'm getting stamps 'cause I'll be mailing in all my payments to whoever and now I have a very good reason when my children ask why they have to be home straight from school.

Writing quote for 9-20-06

One of the biggest myths around writing is that in order to do it we must have great swatches of uninterrupted time.

-- Julia Cameron

Quote for 9-20-06

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.

--Albert Einstein

Well, thank you!

Someone other than just me frequents this blog 'cause someone sent me some info on a filmmaker's workshop that's being presented in several cities next month and beyond. I think there are eight workshops and three of them are real possibilities. And I can afford it!

And I may have found the organization that I can attach myself to and get to Africa. I already spoke to someone; I just need to call the person she directed me to.

Can I be estatic here-- cartwheels & everything?

Well, f**k! No one told me.

I didn't have to stick around for the court proceedings during the summer. I could have moved. Just had to be here on that particular day in court. Ha-- just found that out. Really wished I'd known.

Anyway, Vermont on the calendar, early October. Am counting the days!!!!!!!

Cancelled the D.C. reading. Stuff gets in the freakin' way, you know. But maybe later.

Gonna spend these last months just trying to get my life back on track. I seem to recall on Dec. 31, 2005, there were some things I was hoping to accomplish in the upcoming year. Hmmm. . .

Creative quote for 9-19-06

The essential part of creativity is not being afraid to fail.

— Edwin H. Land

Quote for 9-19-06

Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you.

--Vipin Sharma

Quote for 9-18-06

Let us not fear the hidden. Or each other.

--Muriel Rukeyser

Writing quote for 9-18-06

I have a sense of these buried lives striving to come out through me to express themselves.

--Marge Piercy

You still haven't learned

says my friend Richard when I appear this morning at his office with my flash drive. A computer whiz, he just shakes his head and offers that there's no recovery.

"Well, that's what I thought. But. . . "

"Backup," he tells me. "Back-up."

Okay, it's an idea. . .

If you are a woman writer

Read

this and this

Both excellent books.

Quote for 9-17-06

What people forget is that the heart is a muscle and it strengthens with exercise, otherwise atrophy sets in. On a daily basis, exercise kindness, humility, decency and most of all, love.

--Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz

Writing quote for 9-17-06

To gain your own voice, forget about having it heard. Become a saint of your own province and your own consciousness.

--Allen Ginsberg

All my eggs in one basket

There are some things that are difficult for me to learn. The thing about the flash drive seems to be something that is just beyond me. No, I didn't lose it again. Although I will confess that I did forget it in a university computer once again since the last time I mentioned it.

No, today, I'm getting ready to do some serious work only to find nothing there when I put the disk in.

"The disk you inserted was not readable by this computer."

ARGGGGGGH-- are there any worse words?

Only my poetry on a back-up. Looks like I'm going to be spending some time typing, typing, typing. Luckily, I had printed out most everything 'cause I was afraid I might lose and not recover the disk at some point so at least I've got hard copies, if not a brain.

Is everyone with the last name "Bush"

untrustworthy?

Writing quote for 9-13-06

Writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted.

--Jules Renard

Quote for 9-13-06

There are still good people in the world. Help increase the number by deciding to be one.

-- Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz

Tornado warning

Just a few hours ago. Think that's only happened here once before (when the winds get way crazy. One year, I was looking out my kitchen window and thought something looked different. Turns out the storage unit was gone-- it ended up in the neighbor's backyard! The next year, same story. I'm looking out the kitchen window thinking something's not right and it turns out the tree that used to stand next to the storage unit was split in half! Next year, I come home and the roof is spread across the lawn and the air conditioner is hanging off the edge! Surprised I never ended up somewhere not in Kansas. Short enough (not even 5' I am) I could've been a munchkin! But I digress-- {again})

Anyway, the sun was shining and it was raining. A few days like that recently. Two seemingly opposites in existence at the same time. But then the sun disappeared and the rain got harder. Sky, much darker. Soon, there was hail and a howling wind.

But now the sun's out again.

And there's God's promise-- that rainbow spread across the sky.

And did I mention snowmen, pigs and mooses?

Meese? (What's the plural of the creature that resembles a reindeer?) Anyway, I collect these things too.

Bees and beehives. Penguins.

Yikes!

Quote for 9-12-06

We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.


--May Lamberton Becker

Creative quote for 9-12-06

Creativity arises out of the tension between spontaneity and limitations, the latter (like the river banks) forcing the spontaneity into the various forms which are essential to the work of art or poem.

- Rollo May

Otra vez

-- going through my stuff again. Really, really assessing the value of things. I don't want to spend the $$$$ to move stuff that means nothing to me or that was part of something I thought I wanted but that's no longer the case.

Cleared out some more books. Never thought I'd want to get rid of any of them, but really, I'm just attached to the idea of the # of books and not necessarily the books themselves. I had a friend who had a roommate and when the roommate cleared out his bookshelves (had finished a college degree and was moving and he didn't want to take all his books along) he passed them on to me and I took them --the one with the most books, wins! was my thinking, I guess. But some of them, I'd never even look at in a bookstore-- much less buy to read. So I went through my books and made some hard decisions. Book credit for a friend at the local used bookstore. That felt good.

I collect all kinds of stuff-- bears, dolls, seashells, clowns, snails, turtles, anything to do with apples, roosters, cows, checker boards, anything that has to do with sunflowers,crystal, porcelain plates, etc. etc etc. There is reason behind it, what I enjoy and why and some of it truly matters to me, but some of it, and I'm trying to be really honest with myself, was gotten to create an image. Not to reflect who I am, but create the person I thought I wanted to be.

So that's what's going on today. More hard decisions. Getting rid of or just dwindling down. Justify me taking you to Vermont-- just *why* should I?

Lucky for me, I know someone who loves seashells and someone who loves sunfllowers. Box up stuff and drop it on their doorsteps!

[But not the bear stuff. Oh no! Never! Never! Never, the bear stuff! It goes along. It always goes along;-) ]

No, Gwendolyn. NO. NO. NO.

At this time, the fabric store carries a wider variety of fur because people use it to make Halloween costumes. I so want to go look at it but I can't. I have too much fur still uncut or unsewn.

I sew by hand and I've managed to make 50 bears of varying sizes, not as productive as I could have been, but all summer, I've been distracted. Okay, I lie. I've got 50 bodies-- the bears are currently headless. (Finish what you've started, Gwendolyn!)

Nothing new until you're done with what you've currently got going on.

Oh, alright. Alright.

I just wonder if they've got any brown fur. . .

Writing quote for 9-11-06

Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public.

--Winston Churchill

Quote for 9-11-06

Plunge boldly into the thick of life, and seize it where you will, it is always interesting.

--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Africa moves closer

Finally.

I've been wanting to get to Africa for years, both for info for my novel and to find stories that the world needs to hear.

Things just didn't seem to go my way, but now it's turning.

Looking back, I see that Life was preparing me and though I wanted Africa years ago, it appears that I had to meet some people and experience some things before that could happen and benefit all involved.

I majored in journalism. A former dept. head/professor helped created the journalism dept. at the University of Rhwanda. He had a deep interest in Africa. On his last trip, however, he contracted an illness which killed him.

I had asked the current dept. head how I might go about joining a news team reporting in Africa and he suggested I contact the University of Rhwanda and be an ambassador of sorts -- reestablishing the ties between NMSU and them. A possibility.

For the novel, I have to go to Ghana. One day I'm at the university and a man asks me for directions. I walk him to the building he's looking for 'cause I'm nice like that and on the way, we're just chatting; it turns out he's the new director of Black Programs and he's from--yes, Ghana. I tell him about my book and add I might be bugging him for assistance. He says no problem.

The novel also takes place, in part, in South Africa. This morning I talked to the former U.S. Ambassador to South Africa (served under Clinton)who now works at NMSU and he's going to e-mail me some contacts (people and foundations) that may be able to help me get to Africa, and to the countries I want to visit.

When I was in San Francisco, the cab driver who drove me was from the Sudan. He gave me his e-mail address so I could get in contact with him. You will stay with my family, he told me.

My recent police incident has enlightened me. Violation of rights in America seemed foreign to me, but now having experienced abuse of power and injustice, I have a greater appreciation for those in countries, like Africa, where you are severely limited in your rights and in protecting/defending those same rights.

I met this man with whom I shared my dream. He told me I was selfish, that I was wrong in trying to go to Africa without much thought to my minor children. Later he apologized, but he was right. (I even told him that he was right--by the look on his face, I think it was the first time a woman had conceded to him--ha!) Although I sometimes feel like I'm only the "ATM-did you wash my jeans-what's for dinner?" person, it wouldn't be fair to put myself in a situation (Sudan) where I could die and leave minor children. Then BOOM, I find out about an organization that does work aiding those in other countries will allow me to take my children along (my children want to go )and at the same time prepare me for Africa. "Africa is a hard place," one of the coordinators told me. "We don't do work there." But working for them can help me adjust, and ease me into Africa. In two years, I'm childless. Even if the situation in the Sudan were to change for the postive, in two years there would still be stories of rebuilding, etc. Guilt factor removed.

I'm coming to trust that when the time is right for all concerned, what is to happen will happen.

All excited 'cause I'm answering my calling and that fulfills me in a deep way. Of course, as I mentioned before, I'm having to give up the writing to a degree and while I said previously that I was okay with that, I'm finding I'm actually not. It could be because I really love writing, but it could also be that I'm going to have to move back to something that I haven't done in years and I'm scared 'cause what if I've lost it.

See my degree is in Journalism but it's in production. I like producing and directing. I used to make short films and I was good at it. I used to do photography as well. I'm very visual. I can't learn something by reading it in a book-- show me and I've got it. But what if I don't got "it" anymore? No great feeling of insecurity here; it's just the getting on the bike again. WHEN will the wobbling stop? If I fall, will I get hurt? I can't seem to pedal, pay attention to the road and direct that front wheel all at the same time---hahahahaha.

So in Vermont, there's a school teaching filmmaking and it's some refresher classes there. There's the Refugee Resettlement Program, working with refugees including those from Africa -- and yes the Sudan.

The thing now is to pull all this together. The end result is this: A new blog where I write about and share the world and its other people. Short videos on YouTube. Short documentaries. Print news stories (yes, I still so want that New York Times byline).

It's the getting "there" that I have to currently concern myself with. From "here" to that place. The new journey I'm walking. It looks like it will be quite an adventure.

NFL recap

Peyton beats little brother. No surprise.

T.O. behaves. BIG surprise.

The "award-worthy" poem lest you forgot it

I wish


I wish I could stop the tears I cry.
I wish I could have made your dreams really fly.
I wish I could still hold your hand.
I wish I could understand
why you had to go.
I wish the reason I could know.

My second "final chance" from poetry.com

Dear Gwendolyn,

We recently informed you that you and your poetic accomplishments could be honored at the legendary Riviera Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, July 20 - 23, 2006 -- even though you were unable to attend.

Please note that because so many people took advantage of this opportunity, we have extended the time for you to elect to receive your 2006 awards and benefits of ISP membership, but time is running out, so please act now! You will receive all of the awards and benefits of ISP membership that we have scheduled for you, and your poem will be presented at our next convention if you take advantage of this offer.

Your awards, which will be shipped to you at this time, include your custom engraved lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award (see it here), your bronze Commemorative Award Medallion, your ISP decal, and your Full One Year Membership into the International Society of Poets for 2006-2007, and a subscription to its magazine, Poetry Today.

Your poem will be presented at the largest and most prestigious gathering of poets in history and it's so very important for us and your fellow poets to hear your poem read with the same passion and emotion which you intended when you wrote it. This is why we have arranged for a professional poetry reader to present your poem, allowing your poetry to receive the exposure and recognition you deserve. All you need to do to have your work presented is submit your poem quickly. Just imagine -- all of the attending guests at the upcoming International Society of Poets Annual Convention will hear your poetry read.

Now, let me tell you a little about the awards and special items you will receive once you confirm your participation by sending us your poem:

* Your Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award ($300.00 value) is a magnificent work of art made from imported crystal; it is hand-engraved and mounted on a three-tier solid marble base. This will be the first time ever we have bestowed these crystal awards. They have been created by artisans that we commissioned specially for this year in honor of our 20th anniversary. This impressive 13-inch award is so valuable and fragile that we have designed a special carrying case to ensure the protection of your prestigious award.

* Your bronze Commemorative Award Medallion ($40.00) is a forged bronze medal with intricate detail that's brilliantly displayed on a colorful nylon ribbon.

* Full one year membership in the International Society of Poets for 2006-2007 ($60.00 value) entitles you to a personalized membership card, an embroidered ISP patch, an ISP window decal, a one year subscription to Poetry Today magazine, and entry into exclusive poetry contests for members only.

Gwendolyn, to take advantage of this limited time offer, please send us your poem immediately that will be formally presented at the upcoming convention. This is your final chance to receive these rewards. Your convention poem can be written on any subject, in any style, and can be up to 40 lines in length. Additionally, we must ask you to send a nominal fee ($169.00 plus shipping and handling) to cover the expenses we incur presenting your poetry, and to cover the costs to insure and ship all of these extremely bulky and heavy awards to you. For this small fee you will receive over $400.00 worth of ISP membership materials, including your lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award!

Gwendolyn, my purpose for making you this offer is for you to see for yourself what an amazing organization we are. I sincerely look forward to meeting you in person and having you read your artistry in front of thousands of fellow poets who attend this live awards event every year. Unfortunately that's not the case this year, so we are trying to do the next best thing. I'd like to offer you one more special gift when you send in your poem and confirmation form, because I would really like to see you in person. I will send you a coupon for $100.00 off a future convention. That brings the total value for this offer to over $500.00! We are making a tremendous effort to include your poetry at this year's convention, and we hope that you will return you confirmation form and poem as soon as possible.

Click here to submit your poem.

Sincerely,

Steve Michaels
Convention Chairperson

P.S. Your lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award, bronze Commemorative Award Medallion, embroidered ISP patch, and ISP window decal will be shipped to you by Federal Express Ground service. Your subscription to the award-winning Poetry Today magazine will arrive separately. All of these items are accompanied by a 100% money-back guarantee. If you are not satisfied for any reason simply return them within 60 days for a full refund, no questions asked.


FUNNY, THAT FINAL CHANCE I JUST RECEIVED SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE THE "FINAL CHANCE" OFFER I RECEIVED A MONTH BEFORE. HMMMM. . .

Dear Gwendolyn,

We recently informed you that you and your poetic accomplishments could be honored at the legendary Riviera Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, July 20 - 23, 2006 -- even though you were unable to attend.

Please note that because so many people took advantage of this opportunity, we have extended the time for you to elect to receive your 2006 awards and benefits of ISP membership, but time is running out, so please act now! You will receive all of the awards and benefits of ISP membership that we have scheduled for you, and your poem will be presented at our next convention if you take advantage of this offer.

Your awards, which will be shipped to you at this time, include your custom engraved lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award (see it here), your bronze Commemorative Award Medallion, your ISP decal, and your Full One Year Membership into the International Society of Poets for 2006-2007, and a subscription to its magazine, Poetry Today.

Your poem will be presented at the largest and most prestigious gathering of poets in history and it's so very important for us and your fellow poets to hear your poem read with the same passion and emotion which you intended when you wrote it. This is why we have arranged for a professional poetry reader to present your poem, allowing your poetry to receive the exposure and recognition you deserve. All you need to do to have your work presented is submit your poem quickly. Just imagine -- all of the attending guests at the upcoming International Society of Poets Annual Convention will hear your poetry read.

Now, let me tell you a little about the awards and special items you will receive once you confirm your participation by sending us your poem:

* Your Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award ($300.00 value) is a magnificent work of art made from imported crystal; it is hand-engraved and mounted on a three-tier solid marble base. This will be the first time ever we have bestowed these crystal awards. They have been created by artisans that we commissioned specially for this year in honor of our 20th anniversary. This impressive 13-inch award is so valuable and fragile that we have designed a special carrying case to ensure the protection of your prestigious award.

* Your bronze Commemorative Award Medallion ($40.00) is a forged bronze medal with intricate detail that's brilliantly displayed on a colorful nylon ribbon.

* Full one year membership in the International Society of Poets for 2006-2007 ($60.00 value) entitles you to a personalized membership card, an embroidered ISP patch, an ISP window decal, a one year subscription to Poetry Today magazine, and entry into exclusive poetry contests for members only.

Gwendolyn, to take advantage of this limited time offer, please send us your poem immediately that will be formally presented at the upcoming convention. This is your final chance to receive these rewards. Your convention poem can be written on any subject, in any style, and can be up to 40 lines in length. Additionally, we must ask you to send a nominal fee ($169.00 plus shipping and handling) to cover the expenses we incur presenting your poetry, and to cover the costs to insure and ship all of these extremely bulky and heavy awards to you. For this small fee you will receive over $400.00 worth of ISP membership materials, including your lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award!

Gwendolyn, my purpose for making you this offer is for you to see for yourself what an amazing organization we are. I sincerely look forward to meeting you in person and having you read your artistry in front of thousands of fellow poets who attend this live awards event every year. Unfortunately that's not the case this year, so we are trying to do the next best thing. I'd like to offer you one more special gift when you send in your poem and confirmation form, because I would really like to see you in person. I will send you a coupon for $100.00 off a future convention. That brings the total value for this offer to over $500.00! We are making a tremendous effort to include your poetry at this year's convention, and we hope that you will return you confirmation form and poem as soon as possible.

Click here to submit your poem.

Sincerely,

Steve Michaels
Convention Chairperson

P.S. Your lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award, bronze Commemorative Award Medallion, embroidered ISP patch, and ISP window decal will be shipped to you by Federal Express Ground service. Your subscription to the award-winning Poetry Today magazine will arrive separately. All of these items are accompanied by a 100% money-back guarantee. If you are not satisfied for any reason simply return them within 60 days for a full refund, no questions asked.



AND IT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LIKE THE LETTER SENT BACK IN 2004 TO THIS GUY.

I forgot to ask

Which Manning are you rooting for tonight?

Writing quote for 9-10-06

If I chance to talk a little wild, forgive me.


--William Shakespeare

Quote for 9-10-06

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.


--Andre Gide

See, what happened was. . .

I believe in miracles, have even experienced them, but that post I made yesterday was not about a miracle. My issues with trust have been resolved because after years and years of work, the psychological shift that had to occur, occurred.

The shift happened in a moment. The work before that moment took years and tears and determination.

This morning's background music

(appropriately) from Rascal Flatts:


"I'm Moving On"

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on


I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

And I'm about to finish another story

Can today get any better?

;-)

Creative quote for 9-09-06

A good idea will keep you awake during the morning, but a great idea will keep you awake during the night.

-– Marilyn Vos Savant

Quote for 9-09-06

I celebrate myself, and sing myself.

--Walt Whitman

Glorious!

The way I'm feeling this morning.

I am sitting on the verge of getting everything that I want. (Not what I thought I may have wanted, but that which will further propel me to the person/woman I want to be.)

I said just a while back that I had issues with trust. Well, cleared that up. Yeah, just that quick. Healing and change can come in an instant when the moment is right. Crazy how Life sometimes just hands it to you. Revelations, revelations. I now have a deeper faith in what is and why it is and I'm just curious to where it's all leading. Eager to see how the story turns out, but willing to take it a page at a time, dance or cry or whatever with those words as they appear in the paragaph and just follow each word, each scene as it unfolds. And I see a very, very happy ending for this tale:)

And I wouldn't be here at this place (not a physical one, a psychological/emotional one) if JUST ONE THING were different. So now I'm appreciating what was and how it all had to be so I could be right here and damn it I LOVE THIS VERY MOMENT!!

You're kidding me, right?

Checked with the airline I usually fly on. Haven't flown "frequently" enough, so I ask for a quote on a flight from Vermont to D.C.

394.00!!!!!!!!

And it's only one way!

And the flight isn't even an hour!!!!!!

Writing quote for 9-08-06

The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.

--Gustave Flaubert

Quote for 9-08-06

May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.

--Unknown

Moving day

My oldest set of twins are moving out today. My oldest son moved out about two months ago as did another son. I'm back to the three youngest. And, now I can get back to the business of moving myself.

I am supposed to do something in the house I'm currently at. First, I have been in this house for six years, the longest I have ever been in one place. I've mentioned before how prevalent the "flight" instinct is in me. Keep moving, Gwendolyn, can't hurt you if they can't catch you. So I've healed (hopefully significantly) that part of me that refused to stand still.

But I don't think that's the reason I've been kept there.

The area of town I live in used to be restricted. Blacks could not live there. The elementary school I attended had previously been the only school that Blacks could attend. Grades 1 through 12, although the male athletes were allowed to play on the sports teams of the other schools 'cause well, Negroes increase your chance of winning, you know that. But I digress--

Most Black people in the town lived in the section of town nearest to this school.

I think my parents may have wanted to buy a home in the section where I live now because I recall my mother bringing up the fact that the developer would not allow Blacks in lots of times.

I think I'm supposed to heal this for those Blacks before me. I think I'm supposed to create a home in this particular area for all those Black families denied one previously.

I was heading in that direction, getting my stuff out of storage, getting my books and such out of boxes and into view, but then all my kids came back and what I needed/wanted got put aside. Back on track now(in so many ways).

Gonna start painting and doing minor repairs where and if needed. Replace the screen door and other misc. Two birds with one stone. Complete my metaphorical task and get my landlord's house in order.

And then I get my walking papers, though I plan to *RUN* to New England.

Writing quote for 9-7-06

I have always felt that the first duty of a writer was to ascend- to make flights, carrying others along if you can manage it. To do this takes courage, even a certain conceit.

--E.B. White

Quote for 9-7-06

I have not failed 10,000 times. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

-- Thomas Alva Edison.

G-men

So I got to speak with two FBI agents (the case was reassigned). It is so not like in the movies.

Very attractive men though and I got one to agree to help me with part of a short novel I'm writing that involves the Federal Bureau of Investigations.

He wanted a signed copy of the book, though, he said.

I promised I'd sign it as soon as he bought it, heh heh.

Yay for Reb!

I met Reb Livingston at the Miami reading for MiPoesias. (She's one of the coordinators of the reading I'll be heading to in D.C.) Anyway, this:

Reb Livingston, That's Not Butter
Appeared in: MiPoesias

is from the table of contents from the Best American Poetry 2006 anthology. How cool is that?

And yay for Didi-- Mipoesias is an amazing publication.

Nothing exciting (ha!) going on in my life right now. Just playing catch up: the bear business, the packing, the move.

Reduced my hours at work so I can get things done. When I go to D.C., I plan a detour to Vermont. Excited. Not scared. Just ready. So, so ready.

Writing quote for 9-06-06

Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.


--Sholem Asch

Quote for 9-6-06

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

-- Kahil Gibran

You must have been a beautiful baby

Have you seen the pics of Tom Cruise's baby?

Gorgeous, gorgeous little girl.

It's a William Hung thing, Mr. Federline

Yes, I was anticipating the debut of Mr. Britney Spears. Not a completely bad song and he's even got a record company behind him now.

But Kevin, don't go thinking it's 'cause you're talented (I'm a Superstar! you say in your song, well, Baby, not quite). It's because you're a curiousity and here in America, we like that. We'll throw our money at that. Hell, even Paris Hilton sold enough albums to break the top ten.

Enjoy your 15, Kevin. The clock is ticking.

Oops I did it again!

Changed templates and lost all my links.
damn it.

Creative quote for 8-30-06

Creativity can never be explained by appeal to reason alone. Like the birth of a child, creativity compels us not to explanation but to wonder and awe.

-- George Vaillant

Quote for 8-30-06

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!
--Amanda Bradley

Checking out early

Have a safe holiday. I'll be back sometime next week.

Rain, rain go away

Only half-heartedly singing this. It's still coming down intermittently, but the weeds!

And the bugs!

Scratch, scratch.

Tug, tug.

A new online magazine

Swill went live today. You can find it at http://www.swillmagazine.com/ (I'm too lazy to provide the direct link.)

They had solicted work from me for their first issue but I procrastinate. They are currently looking for work for Issue 2 so maybe you and me both can get in there.

Russell Bittner is there. I'll be meeting him (hopefully) when I get to Brooklyn and Corey Mesler is in there.

Quite frequently, I'll find myself published at the same time in the same publications as Corey Mesler . Sometimes I think he's following me.

Although I read (when we were both poets of the week at Poetry Super Highway) that he was going to have SIX (!!!!) chapbooks published this year.


Hmmm, maybe I'm following him, hoping to learn something--HA!

Writing quote for 8-29-06

Poetry is language at its most distilled and most powerful.

--Rita Dove

Quote for 8-29-06

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.

-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

Anudder short-short contest

VERY Short Story Contest
http://www.lunchhourstories.com/very_short_story_contest.html

Lunch Hour Stories short fiction magazine is now accepting entries for
its
2006 VERY Short Story Contest, deadline December 31, 2006. We're
looking
for REALLY great, REALLY short stories in nearly ANY genre, 500 words
or
less. (Narrative prose poems will also be considered!) We offer cash
prizes, publication, and free issues! Submit as many unpublished
stories
as you wish. Simultaneous submissions accepted!

Send one printed copy of your story, along with complete contact
information, a $5 non-refundable reading fee per story, and a SASE for
list of winners to:

2006 VERY SHORT STORY CONTEST
Lunch Hour Stories Magazine
22833 Bothell-Everett Hwy
STE 110 - PMB 1117
Bothell, WA 98021-9366

Electronic submissions will also be accepted as long as the story is
sent
in the body of an email, and not as an attachment. Send stories to:
mail(at)lunchhourbooks.com.
(replace (at) with @)
Specify CONTEST ENTRY – LAST NAME in the subject
line.

Reading Fees may also be paid online via PayPal by logging on to
www.paypal.com, clicking on "send money," and sending your payment to:
payments(at)lunchhourbooks.com (replace (at) with @).

PRIZES

First Place: $75, publication in Lunch Hour Stories magazine, and five
(5)
printed copies.
Second Place: $50, publication in Lunch Hour Stories magazine, and five
(5) printed copies.
Third Place: $25, publication in Lunch Hour Stories magazine, and five
(5)
printed copies.
Finalists: In addition to the three contest winners, up to nine (9)
additional stories from finalists will appear in the magazine. Each
finalist will receive five (5) printed copies of the anthology.

Winners will be notified no later than March 31, 2007. Winning stories
will be eligible for publication during 2007.

Complete contest entry information is available at:

http://www.lunchhourstories.com/very_short_story_contest.html

Willing to accept

This day you will be provided with precisely what you are willing to accept. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

You are immersed in an endless sea of abundance. The treasures of that abundance are yours to the extent that you choose to bring them into your life.

There are opportunities branching out in many directions from every little detail. At each fork in the road, accept and explore the path that most closely resonates with your deepest purpose.

To achieve the life that you desire, fully and sincerely be the person who will live it. Anything you can imagine is possible for you when you truly accept the possibility and sincerely bring it to life.

With the thoughts you think, with the words you say, with the feelings and actions that fill each moment, you are accepting what is already available to you. The person you choose to be, comes ever more richly and fully to life as each day passes.

Consider carefully and thoughtfully what you are willing to accept. For whatever it is, you will most certainly have.

-- Ralph Marston

Creative quote for 8-28-06

When we engage in what we are naturally suited to do, our work takes on the quality of play and it is play that stimulates creativity. So play with your intuition.

—-Linda Naiman

Quote for 8-28-06

It all begins when the soul would have its way with you.

—Emerson

Quote for 8-27-06

We are always getting ready to live, but never living.


--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Writing quote for 8-27-06

What is written without effort is in generally read without pleasure.

--Samuel Johnson

short-short contest

Semi-Annual Short Fiction Contest
Canadian Writer's Journal

FIRST PRIZE $100
SECOND PRIZE $50
THIRD PRIZE $25
Prize Money & ONE-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION
to Canadian Writer's Journal & Publication in Choice Works

HONOURABLE
MENTIONS Receive ONE-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION 
to Canadian Writer's Journal
&
Publication in Choice Works

Entries must be original, unpublished stories, any genre, maximum
length 1,200 words (accurate word count please).
Manuscripts should be typed, double-spaced, and prepared in standard
form except that no identification of the author is to appear on the
manuscript itself.
Name, address and a short biography of the author are to be submitted
on a separate sheet to accompany the entry.
Manuscripts will NOT be returned, they are destroyed at the end of the
competition in our fireplace. Send #10 (business size) S.A.S.E. for
contest results only.
Entries received too late for one deadline will be held over for the
next deadline date. If you include an email address, an email
confirmation that your entry has been received will be sent. A
self-addressed stamped postcard would also be another way for you
receive confirmation that the entry was received.
Winners to be announced and prize winning stories are published in the
Canadian Writer's Journal. Entry gives permission to include all the
contest winners in a chapbook called Choice Works which is published
and available separately.
ENTRY FEE: $5.00 for each story.
Entries must be postmarked by September 30th or March 31st.
No extensions. Entries received after the deadline for one contest will
be held over to the next deadline date unless you give us different
instructions.
Decisions of the Judge(s) are final, and NO correspondence will be
entered into concerning them.
Send entries to:
Short Fiction Contest
Canadian Writer's Journal
Box 1178
New Liskeard, ON
CANADA P0J 1P0

Longing for goodness

You've made mistakes and yet you are able to recognize those mistakes for what they are, and to learn from them. There are times when you stumble, and wander away from the path, yet you're always able to get up and find your way back.

There is within you the longing for truth, for goodness, for excellence, substance, and integrity. Though your actions sometimes contradict and compromise that longing, it never goes away.

The very best of who you are is always somewhere within you. Choose often to connect with it, and to let it resonate throughout the details of your life.

As each moment unfolds, remember the good and valuable things of which you are capable. Pay attention to that longing for goodness, and follow where it leads.

Hold in your heart those times when you've experienced how beautiful and blessed life can be. Treasure and strengthen the part of you that draws pure joy from those moments.

You have known the goodness of life and you know that it is as close to you as you wish to make it. Choose to keep it ever close by.

-- Ralph Marston

Writing quote for 8-26-06

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

--Ray Bradbury

Quote for 8-26-06

Your life can be no larger than your heart allows it to be.

--Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz

My heart can hold the world

In a comment in a post down below, someone brings up the issue of my giving. It made me wonder and explore that aspect and I have come to realize this about myself and the world I find myself in: giving is a good thing.

I shouldn't go into nursing 'cause I'm not looking for monetary reward.

Are people so much a stranger to their own hearts that they aren't motivated and moved to help, to give, to serve. I'm not trying to save the world, I have no ideas that I'm that big or powerful. But I do believe, and strongly, that I can do something in my daily life that helps someone other than myself and that I should do that very thing. The possibility that I may get nothing, or at least not what I want, in return should not come into play.

When I first read the post, I thought, "Whoever, save your pity or sympathy for yourself." Life, I have learned, is not about deals.

Life has given me enormous pain. Life has given me enormous joy. The common factor: Life has given me something. What I do with it is my choice and I try to always choose the higher road.

Life is fair. Life is unfair. The common factor: Life is. There's no great mystery. It simply is; acceptance of this gives me the strength to go on no matter what.

I am not like most people. I so don't want to be like most people. Sometimes others find it hard to believe that I am who I am; I've been told I'm "too good to be true." But what I'm trying to be is so true that I can't help but be good.

I'm sorry if some people don't get that. And I'm not perfect. Believe me, I have a side that can wish and imagine the most horrible on individuals, but I never act on it. I choose not to act on it.

I'm not looking for pity and I haven't even told you the whole of what I've been through--'cause I can tell some more stuff like how in a four-year span my brother was murdered, my boyfriend was stabbed to death in the course of an argument, how my best friend committed suicide and another friend was killed in a motorcycle accident -- but what I'm trying to share is that the experience of life is not what happens to you externally, but what you internally choose to believe and what you then choose to do with those things.

My intentions are pure. I'm not doing anything for any other reason than it's the right thing to do (except manifesting the love of my life; I confess I'm doing that so I can get sex). Otherwise, I'm not looking to gain one thing. Maybe some have become so tainted that this concept is foreign.

I've given because I thought I could earn or get something in return, but all I got was bitterness and more fuel for my angry sense of entitlement. As I learned to give to myself, to care for myself before I thought about caring for others, I learned that giving to others could be a joy. And I'm not stupid about it. You can't overstep my boundaries 'cause I know when to say "no" and even then, in my mind, I'm giving you something because that "no" might help you learn in some way.

If you don't choose to be that way, okay. I'm not asking you to be. I only have to answer to God about the person I chose to be. But don't look at me through your narrow vision 'cause I can guarantee who I am will never come into view.

Relief!

I've been stressing and you know that. Yesterday, finally, I got my relief.

It's a very long story which isn't over yet and I will tell you the whole of it when it's finally, completely resolved but I will tell you this now: my mug shot is cuter than Mel's and I've got an appointment with the FBI on Tuesday. Yes, I was arrested, back in April. Shocked? Well so was I -- not as shocked as say Chris Daughtry when he got booted off "American Idol" but I was surprised just the same. No jail time (papers to bond me out arrived at "county" before I did) and I'm kind of ambivalent about that. Not a pleasant experience, but not the worse that can happen to a person. The situation, though, has flagrant civil rights violations that the FBI deems worthy enough to send to the Dept. of Justice. It's not on the scale of Rodney King, but in relation to the situation, way out-of-control.

And, yes, the whole situation came about because I WAS TRYING TO HELP SOMEONE. (But I'd do it again because it would be the right thing to do.)

Yesterday, when I should have been flying to NY to read at the Stain Bar, I was sitting in a courtroom, wondering if I was going to spend the next two years of my life in Dona Ana County Detention.

I learned a bit more about the legal system and I have a greater appreciation of how language and words can be manipulated to create "story."

When I was first arrested, I thought it was only Life giving me something to use in my novel; my book deals with the common issues of black life in America and I thought I was being given the opportunity to gain some first hand knowledge about how the police treat individuals, well it turns out maybe that and a bit more, Gwendolyn.

I can't tell you some things just now because an investigation into the Las Cruces Police Dept. by the FBI has been initiated, but I will tell you that the story has the proportions, the twists and turns of a freakin' police television drama. (A Supreme Court ruling just months before my trial--not largely known, even to my lawyer--provides me an out when I'm thinking it's "checkmate." I appreciate that but I still hold them responsible for their actions in 2000.)

Every stage I'm thinking the case will be dropped, it isn't. Made me crazy--living a dual life: I'm packing and planning to move all the while knowing that I may not be going any-damn-where.

I am breathing this morning because I was found not guilty of the violation for which I was arrested. "You are so innocent," a juror told me afterwards. Uhm, Ms. D.A. if you have to keep bringing your witnesses up to the stand to "clarify" and "reclarify" maybe there's a problem with their story.

Anyway, like I said in my posts about God, part of this was just a lesson for me to move closer toward Him. I appealed to the absolute highest court. I have a good knowledge of the Bible and you'd better believe I went to Jehovah using so many of the instances where He chose to act for what was good and true and just. I was reminded that He does act and for us, that He is loyal, that He does care-- even when I'm screaming that it's unfair-- what He allows in my life. I am humbled by the fact that He understood and that He acted on my behalf.

So this story still isn't completely over, but I've got two essays, two new short stories, a chunk of my novel and the beginnings of a news article that came out of this experience begging now to be written. And I'm gonna go write 'cause I am "free" to do so.

What to wear, what to wear

I think I've decided on what I'll be wearing when I read in Washington, D.C. next month during Gilda's and Lolita's Burlesque Poetry Hour.

And I've decided what I'm gonna take off during Gilda's and Lolita's Burlesque Poetry Hour.

Oh, no, I'm not telling; you'll just have to wait and see;-)

Creative quote for 8-25-06

We know where most of the creativity, the innovation, the stuff that drives productivity lies - in the minds of those closest to the work.

--Jack Welch

Quote for 8-25-06

He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to.


--Harry Emerson Fosdick

Every day I enter the Daily Dividends Sweepstakes from U.S. Airways

and every day, I do not win :(

Kicking Pluto out of the planethood

Clyde Tombaugh is credited with discovering the planet Pluto. But today's headlines say it's no longer considered one.

From an article on msn.com:


"The public is not going to be excited by the fact that Pluto has been kicked out," Brown said. "But it's the right thing to do."

The astronomy building at my alma mater is named after Mr. Tombaugh because he taught there for many years. There's an elementary school named after him!!!!!!!

What do you tell the children?

I am no scientist but really can a planet be downsized??

Creative quote for 8-24-06

What moves men of genius, or rather what inspires their work, is not new ideas, but their obsession with the idea that what has already been said is still not enough.

-- Eugène Delacroix

Quote for 8-24-06

Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege.


--John D. Rockefeller Jr.

Summer's ending and that means

that I've got to get to Walmart and buy up any ice cream mixes, probably now on clearance.

I need them for my snow party.

What's that, you ask.

It's semi-homemade ice cream and hot chocolate and hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks while the snow piles up and then it's snowmen and snow angels and frolicking. . . followed by more ice cream and hot chocolate while you drip dry.

I'm almost back on track; I can see the end of this fork in the road I've been on and I should be in New England just in time for the white stuff coming down!

Will I invite you?

Well, hell, of course. Bring your mittens. I've been living in the desert and I've never had the chance to be in a snowball fight.

DUCK!

Submission #7

"We'll pass but do send something else."

boo hoo

My son punched me in the mouth

We were play-boxing and I was done and had turned away. But I then turned back abruptly to say something and turned my face right into his fist! OUCH!

Now my lip is even bigger!

Maybe I don't know the *&^%$@# I'm talking about

In a post yesterday, I wondered if my writing was "enough." Perhaps it's just old insecurities cropping up. Anyway, today in my box a message from someone who's reading my work posted on the net.

"I've liked about everything; some of it makes me cringe from the truth of it, which I feel is a mark of a great writer."

Wow. That's so cool.

Define amateur

Family Circle is sponsoring a fiction contest but you have to be an amateur to enter. What does that mean? Like Beginnings sponsors a contest but asks that if one has a list of credits and awards to not enter. Well, I have a list of credits but to some, they might not be credits that matter.

Am I an amateur?

Am I a beginning writer? Or am I an emerging one? And what publication credit qualifies me as "arrived"?

Who decides this stuff and who gave them this authority? Why is being published in x magazine more important than being published in y? Why? Why? Why?

Short-short contest

The 1st Robert J. DeMott Short Prose Prize
http://www.quarteraftereight.org/contest/

Deadline extended: Sept. 30, 2006

This year our competition turns a new, small leaf; we will focus on
prose in brief. Submit your prose-poem, short-short fiction, essay in-brief,
etc. of 500 words or fewer. The only criterion (besides length) is that all
submissions present an innovative address to the prose form.
Include a title page with your name, address, phone number, and the
title of your submission(s). Your name must not appear on the manuscript(s). The
reading fee is $15 for three pieces and includes a copy of Vol. 13
(spring 2007).
Please make checks payable to Quarter After Eight.

Previously published material is not eligible. Manuscripts will not be
returned. The contest deadline is Sept. 30, 2006. Include a SASE for
notification of
contest winners. Prize money will be awarded upon publication.

first prize:
$200 and publication in volume 13 of QAE

second and third prize:
$50 and possible publication in volume 13 of QAE

Send manuscripts to:
Prose Contest, Box 3
QAE
Ellis Hall
Ohio University
Athens, OH 45701

When the hell does he write?

Another contest and Robert Olen Butler is the judge. I can't tell you how many contests I have read about and he's the judge or Aimee Bender is. Or Amy Hempel.

So I ask, just when the hell do they get their own work done?

Artistic quote for 8-23-06

If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

--Vincent Van Gogh

Quote for 8-23-06

The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

--Steve Jobs

I suck!

A figurative expression in regards to my writing. (ain't confessing to nothing intimate here)

Finished up the anthology of short shorts and am feeling like my writing is lacking. Kafka, Borges, de Maupassant, Garcia Marquez, et al. incredible works that capture an essence of the human condition in deep ways in a short span.

Now, there are works of my own that I like and I think I've accomplished something but reading this particular collection has me wondering if I need to go deeper in my writing and I'm also left wondering what that means and how it might be accomplished.

I wonder too if what I'm feeling is because I live in America. I am more intrigued most often by the work of writers from other countries, as I find much of the works in the U.S.--as evidenced in the New Yorker and the BASS and O.Henry series (though recently less frequently) and this is just my opinion--is about neurotic white people. Updike is championed but what I've read of his (and it may not be enough to venture froth an accurate opinion) bores me. zzzzzzzzzzz

I think what we are granted in the United States makes us collectively (and again this is my own opinion which could be way off and even down right wrong) unchallenging in our approach to art, what it truly is and/or could be.

Forgot about Bianca

In my post about the Rolling Stones last week, I mentioned the nationalities of the three women Mick had kids by but this weekend I realized that I'd forgotten about Bianca. Don't know where she originates from but as long as she's not Brazilian, then Mick's got yet another couuntry/ethnic group covered.

Two Russians, an Irishman and a Japanese guy

I'm continuing to read "Short Shorts;" this weekend two stories by Tolstoy, one by Chekhov, Joyce and one by a famed Japanese writer named Yukio Mishima.

"The Three Hermits" by Tolstoy is wonderful and should be required for anyone who claims him/herself as a religious leader. Tolstoy's " Alyosha the Pot" is sad but I found it less interesting the "The Three Hermits."

When I was much younger and quite insecure, I took an independent writing course and refused to read anything the professor proposed. I think I was afraid to see that my writing was truly lacking. One of the works I refused to read was "Dubliners," but I later had to read some works from it for another class. What an idiot I was. Fell in love with the stories I read. So I fully expected to love Joyce's "Eveline." I did. Another emotional beauty. Very, very evocative in such a short span.

Yukio Mishima's "Swaddling Clothes" was remarkable. A head spinner. Foreshadowing but when the climax comes, this reader was totally taken by surprise. Wow wow wow.

Think something was lost in the translation of Chekhov's "After The Theatre." Huh??????????

Creative quote for 8-21-06

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.

-- Mary Lou Cook

Quote for 8-21-06

Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for.

--Marian Wright Edelman

An open letter to Paul and writers like him

Dear Paul,


You wrote me to let me know that you had discovered my blog, found it interesting and thought that it might serve as an inspiration to you as you were a “writer not writing.”

In my response, I questioned this since, by virtue of definition, one must write in order to be a writer. I asked why you weren’t.

You responded and cited what you called the usual “excuses.” You have a wife, children, and a job. When I responded, I deliberately meant to trump you. I am a single parent with seven children, 1 ½ jobs and still I make time to write.

I won’t lie and say that I write every day, but I do engage myself in some activity that relates to my work—every day.

There are many excuses, reasons, what-have-you that can keep one from writing. Fears, trauma, one’s living situation; so many factors can affect the process. Perhaps I will have an opportunity to discuss how any of these (because I've experienced much) can keep one from doing one’s work. Right now, though, I want to talk about obligations.

I don’t doubt that you are busy. A marriage takes time, the needs of children, at least 40 hours at a job. Perhaps you have a home and there’s the upkeep there. So much other you have to do, so much other that is more “important” than just sitting there, writing. And you won’t make money from it, so what’s the point?

But I know I don’t have to explain its importance to you, Paul. What I will tell you is that you shouldn’t deny it by denying it the rightful place in your life by not making the time to engage in it.

To accomplish this, what you will have to do is forget. And remember.

Forget that you are a married man. Forget that you are a father. Forget that you have a part to contribute to some organization. Remember only one thing: you are a writer.

For years, due to personal tragedies and struggle, I couldn’t write. I didn’t write. Oh, I got ideas that I jotted down, I imagined works that never made their way onto paper. I wrote for a newspaper, but that was not the writing I wished to do. I did the arts pages and every time there was something involving an author –and Antonya Nelson and Robert Boswell live in my town so you know it was quite frequent---I felt a part of me dying.

I kept telling myself that there would be a point where I would be free to write. One day. One day. Those days became years. Paul.

I was to interview a writer who directs the annual book festival for the newspaper. I had always been jealous of her; she seemed to always be in the news with some new work. During the interview, I confessed my jealousy and she laughed. She told me all of the struggle that she had endured including sporadic teaching jobs and caring for a father with Alzheimer’s. Still she wrote.

She invited me to take part in the festival and standing before an audience, enchanting them with my words was such a thrill, I decided to write.

I had a part-time job lined up as I planned to quit my full-time one to give me the time to follow my dream. As soon as I did, the part-time job fell through and my car engine blew (again). I panicked and spent the money intended to keep me going ‘til Oprah stamped her approval on the novel I was planning to write on a used car that turned out to be a lemon. I needed to find a job.

The world seemed against me. My stresses were suddenly multiplied. But I wrote.

The writer I interviewed had told me I had to commit to my writing. Declare yourself a writer and then commit to that, she said. Committing meant writing no matter what. And what you commit is your time.

My life did not settle down completely, but it became tolerable. For a year, I sat my butt in a chair and worked on a novel. It was a trying, invigorating year. My lights were turned off. I wrote. My children complained that all I cared about was my writing. I asked the point of their comments and continued to write.

I wrote.

I wrote.

I wrote.

Looking back, I will say I was unfair to my children. I needed to learn balance; but I was no longer willing to put what I needed to do –WRITE—aside. I arranged my life so that there was time for what mattered and my writing had to have its part.

And you, like me, need to write. You need to work. You make the time for that. You need to be a husband. You make time for that. You need to father. You make time for that.

A few minutes, Paul. An hour. You must find the time in your schedule and then use it. Ernest Gaines wrote during his lunch hour. Perhaps that’s an option. You don’t need hours on end in order to do your work. There was a time when all 24 hours of a day were available to me to do nothing but write, but I chose to do other things. All that is needed is a place and a commitment to that place.

Carve out the time. Show up. Yes, I guarantee that Life will send something to test you. Be gentle with yourself if you stumble a time or two. But if you will show up, so will the words. Maybe not immediately. You will have to earn the trust of your muse, but once you do, Paul, the words will come.

There are stories you must write. Once you have decided it’s time, so will they.

Show up to that sacred place at the arranged time. Do it time and again until you feel that tug. And when the words start to come, forget all the other and remember only that there are stories coursing through your veins. When the words come, give yourself the permission to play Paul. Just go play.

Done!

Sure I did my share of procrastinating. Checked the e-mails sixty-two point six gazillion times, surfed the web, contemplated computer games, hmmmm block breaker, bookworm, chess. . .

but I kept going back to the story and it's done. And sent out.

Work now. And then sleep. And I guess manana, we'll just do this again. Close my eyes and pick a story to revise. Sure -- why not that one.

But after I post Paul's letter 'cause what I said actually served as inspiration to me!

I don't wanna!

Do anything, especially write this mornng.

Last night, a huge thunderstorm. Electricity went out. It's kind of cold and all I want to do is get back under the covers and zzzzzzzzzzzz but alas, there is a story that must go out.

The magazine I want to submit it to sent out their "call for submissions" yesterday. They called, I must respond. Onward, dear writer.