Quote for 9-30-10

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.


--Henry Ellis

Today I got a check in the mail from Vanderbilt. I love unexpected cash.

The other day I got a letter from them saying that I could keep my insurance through COBRA.
THAT is wonderful. I have to pay the full amount, but the peace of mind is worth it.

El Paso, Tejas -- otra vez

Had to go back to El Paso. Again, not good with scheduling time. Hauling A** down the interstate 'cause I had to teach at 12 noon and I was on Lee Trevino at 11. Back on campus parked where I shouldn't have, grabbed my book with the room code ['cause we were in the computer lab and it's locked so people don't walk off with computers] and I Ran! Got my class journaling and then I went back in search of a parking space. Too close.

Anyway passed by my old house and the Mervyns (now closed) where I used to spend my time and my old boyfriend's money. Had I more time, I would have gone to the zoo [I used to looooooooooooove going there], but I had to get to my class.

Going to do that drive one more time-- go to Office Depot and get my writing room furniture and I'll go early morning, on the weekend. Miss all that traffic and construction.

Quote for 9-29-10

If I fail, if I succeed,
At least I live as I believe

--from the song "The Greatest Love Of All"

moving and not

Have moved most links over to the writing blog. At least they're gone from here.

The realtor handling the house I'm in love with has been sick. I had left my deposit with someone in the office and she called to say she got it, now getting the paperwork done is phone tag and then some. So Friday will not be a moving day. And that's okay. Would be actually better if I can move in on the 15th 'cause that means I can use tomorrow's check for more things for the house. And some heels. And some bills. And more books. I didn't join/rejoin Book of the Month Club, Literary Guild, Doubleday, Black Expressions and One Spirit for nothing!

We'll just have to see.

Truly not much going on in my life. Ended up buying two cars-- curious how that happened. A Nissan Altima and a Nissan Sentra. I'll explain and post some pics later.

I am really, really tired. So much, so fast. I need a rest. A three-day weekend? Right around the corner. Nope. I've got orientation for the tutoring position Saturday.

I have to decide how much tutoring I want to do and with how many children before then. And I need to go down to the school district office and get fingerprinted/arrange for a background check.

I had to go to work a few Saturdays ago. 7:30 in the morning but there was a hot breakfast and I was bad and had several pieces of bacon which isn't good for my blood pressure but I justified it 'cause I was up so early for this workshop which is where I met this man who I mentioned before who told me something, gave me a tool to use and it's made a difference in how I see things, approach things. I know something's changed 'cause some things in my physical world are changing.

Life is fast right now. But it's good. I still need a nap though.

Quote for 9-28-10

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.


--H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Quote for 9-27-10

If you're not enjoying the journey, you probably won't enjoy the destination.

--Joe Tye

Whew! What a day!

I had to go to El Paso, got a late start and then spent much more time than I expected there. Had the appt. for the tutoring position so I was driving like a madwoman down the interstate. It has been a really long time, maybe 8 years, that I've driven on the interstate and I wasn't missing a thing! Still I got done what I needed to get done and that's all that matters.

Made the interview though I forgot to take a second piece of writing. No matter, the coordinator was highly impressed with my publication record. Had to do a creative exercise with her and I momentarily froze 'cause sometimes I'm not good at spontaneity. But whatever, she hired me. Much of the interview was spent talking Civil Rights Movement-- she was surprised/impressed to find that I knew something about Rosa Parks that isn't generally known that she also knew. She said something about that information needing to be known and something inside me said, 'Get on it, Gwen" 'cause I think I'm supposed to set the record straight or just inform people about some things I've learned-- the way things really happened.

Found out that my pay is still wrong and I'll see another 100 bucks/month in pay and after this semester, I'll hit the next level of pay and I've been asked if I want to teach in the spring (which doesn't mean I will; generally adjunct faculty don't even think about teachng 'cause the full-time faculty get all the classes but just being asked means something).

Crazy day but a good one.

Quote for 9-26-10

Unless one decorates one's house for oneself alone, best leave it bare, for other people are walleyed.

--D.H. Lawrence

out and about

picking up stuff for the house. I'm in love with some furniture in a store in Nashville. I'm going to look to see if I can find some things similar here, but if not then I'm going back to Nashville and buying the living room set and dining room set there. I will pay ABF to bring it here 'cause I can.

That is such a wonderful feeling, knowing you can get what you want-- and evenmoreso, GETTING IT. The second time in my life (the first was when, yes, I was an instructor before) that money is a non-issue.

Quote for 9-24-10

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.


--George Bernard Shaw

zoom zoom redux

Today I should have a car.

Taking care of insurance, faxing proof to dealer and collecting those keys.

Finally.

Quote for 9-22-10

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.


--Susan B. Anthony

ETA - -today

According to the tracking system, I should get packages of books in the afternoon's mail.

Mom, look what I did!

My kids are ordering class rings and technology is such that they can design/personalize them. I remember when I was a senior, it seemed either you got a boy's ring or a girl's ring and the only option was if your entire name was engraved inside or if it was just your initials.

Anyway my son was on his laptop, designing his ring and when he was done, he called me to look at it. It was a gorgeous ring, reflecting his interests and person.

How much is it, I asked.

Five-hundred, he said.

American dollars?????????????????????????

Like I said previously, cha ching cha ching cha ching. . . at least the cap and gown are free. . .

The Power of Forgiveness

Mr. Vick-- starting QB

Quote for 9-21-10

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.


--Walt Disney

Moving Day

is set for next Friday. It will be an all day thing.

Not looking forward to hauling those thousand + books I've got-- my kids have caught on as to what's been in all those boxes we move-- but I'm looking forward to getting back to my reading.

Don't tell my daughters but I bought two plants the other day. Keeping them out of sight like stash. HA!

Do I need help? Why sure! I've got bookscases to assemble and a glass cabinet that needs the same. Bring an allen wrench, some lunch and your muscles!

My granddaughter slept over so I did nothing last night but be awed by her charm. Up early 'cause I've got things to do! But it was worth it.

She's an absolute doll.

And speaking of grandchildren

awaiting the birth of one within weeks and another in the new year. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when you think it can't get any better

I got the house I wanted!! Time to buy more bookshelves!!!

I have an interview for possibly doing afterschool tutoring and the pay starts around 30 bucks an hour, and you tutuor for 1 and 1/2, as many days as you want.

My pay has been straightened out-- the tax withoholding, my pay scale, the hours I've taught (I am almost an asst. prof.) I should see about $300 more a month in my bank acct. YES!!!!!

I met a man this weekend who was obviously sent to give me a message and I received it and well, Life is taking on a whole new glow for that and all other besides.

Quote for 9-20-10

Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

-- Mary Oliver

I'd talk but

I've got grandchildren coming over!

Quote for 9-17-10

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.

--Angela Monet

3-day weekend

yup, every week. but I have lots to do. I'm making a giant bear for the "Tough Enough To Wear Pink" campaign and I've got papers to grade. I've got to start looking for a flight to Puerto Rico 'cause my sister lives there and I'm going to go visit in December and research the slave trade, visit some historic sites there and go to the beach 'cause I've never been to one outside of Long Beach and I'm not sure that one counts. And I need to find a flight to NY 'cause I'm reading there in November. Laundry. A painting class starts. I've got to go to the post office TODAY. Go to B&N site and order those short story collections on my wish list (posthumous Vonnegut, new and selected Tobias Wolff, Joyce Carol Oates and some others). The list goes on. . . so I will be in absentia 'til Monday 'cause well, you can see I've got lots to do. . .

Have a fabulous one.

Quote for 9-16-10

If you have enthusiasm, you have a very dynamic, effective companion to travel with you on the road to Somewhere.


--Loretta Young

Quote for 9-14-10

By having a reverence for life, we enter into a spiritual relation with the world By practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.


--Albert Schweitzer

no no no no no

I found my floppy disks the other day so I took them to the computer lab to see what was on them.
Interesting to see my beginnings.

I wrote a lot when I first started. That was because I was able to set and adhere to boundaries. I used to try and help out anyone I could but then I started saying no.

No.
No.
NO.

'cause that gave me time to do what I wanted. I'm going back to that position. Not just so I can get some writing done, but so that my time, my life, is spent where I want. It's much too costlier the other way.

I saw two houses yesterday.

One was strangely laid out. Additons to the original in an odd manner. The other house was nice -- great master bathroom-- but neither compare to the house (size, configuration, wall space) that I first saw.

It's still available --at least I hope-I didn't turn in my application because I was going to look at another house with the same number of bedrooms but one less bath and it was $200 cheaper which is about 10 books, more if they're trade paperback. Anyway when the landlord called my daughter's cell, she didn't answer it 'cause she didn't know the number. When I returned his call, he'd already showed the house to someone else who took it:(

Yesterday I ran into someone I knew when I taught here before. He's a professor now and he suggested, too, that I pursue the asst. professorship for the higher pay. He also told me that I could/should get certified to teach online classes and then I could go whereever I wanted and still get paid.

An internet cafe and a laptop. Welcome to Gwendolyn U. LOL

Quote for 9-13-10

When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.


-- Rabindranath Tagore

I can't have a cat or plants

My daughters had an intervention with me. Said when we move, I can't go all jungle crazy.

And though I've been scouring the thrifty nickel for kittens, I am going to have to bypass pets. I went to dinner on Friday and in discussing my future plans, I realized that I truly do want to just bounce around when my children graduate and (as my friend Joe says) "live interesting lives elsewhere." I can't bring pets and plants into my life now 'cause I'd have to get rid of them later:(

just when you think things can't get any better

I am on the verge of healing the biggest thing in my life. I have been wrestling with this forever and finally I have the breakthrough! I've been working on a story that mirror the issue I'm dealing with, a core issue that totally runs and ruins parts of my experience of life, and for awhile now the story's been writing itself-- words, lines coming to me out of nowhere that kept pushing me to face what I did not want to face.

But I have. Whew. Not as scary as I thought, but I read somewhere that FEAR is an acronym for False Expectations Appearing Real, so what I thought would slay me if I ever chose to look at it face-to-face, didn't.

So I'm all giddy with this knowledge that I don't have to be Sisyphus anymore. That I can let that stone roll away. I plan to finish the story today, finish my healing today:)

------------------------------

The issue of the number of classes I've taught is being researched but the prelimanary info points to this: I am just semesters away from being an assistant professor-- not that I want to be one, but still.


------------------------------

It looks like I may be attending a writing workshop next summer in Paris. Yes, the one in France!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just when you think it can't get any worse

several things in my life have come to a halt-- the house,the car-- 'cause I may not be getting paid this week. I was a late hire and there's a process, and the process for me might have taken too long to get me $$$ on the 15th. If so, I won't get paid until the 30th.

Ouch.

And there was a problem with my w-4 and someone was correcting it, but that was unacceptable so I might have taxes taken out as if I were a single person and not a woman with a gazillion dependents. Ouch.

And if I do get paid this week, there's the chance that I will be getting paid $100+ less than I should 'cause the university switched over to a system that has records from 2004 on and I worked 2003 and back, so my pay rate is based on someone who has never taught and I've taught plenty.

Quote for 9-12-10

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

-- George Bernard Shaw

I have been a bum all weekend

for the most part.

It was great fun.

Quote for 9-10-10

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

--unknown

Quote for 9-09-10

Each day is a new life. Seize it. Live it.


--David Guy Powers

today is my Friday

:)

Quote for 9-08-10

We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.

--Lynn Hall

And so it begins

senior pictures next week. class rings. cap and gown/ announcements.
cha ching

cha ching

cha ching

Quote for 9-06-10

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.

--Chinese Proverb

Quote for 9-3-10

I'm only grouchy and moody on days that end with Y.

--unknown

I think I'm over my grouchiness

Had to get up early (for me)to go to a meeting for work after I was up last night reading through those 800 comments posted.

But I can crawl back into bed now. I don't have to think about work 'til Tuesday.

White People!

I shouldn't do it, you know, read the comments following online stories that have to do with black people. Heidi and Seal. The POTUS.

In Washington, a lady had acid thrown in her face. The story mentioned that the police were looking for a black woman and all the crazies and racists and such came crawling -- no, not crawling, they were a more rabid bunch, so "crawling" is the wrong word--they slithered, closer maybe ('cause well their rhetoric is so much like the original serpent Satan)
anyway some white people are just plain (when I was first typing that, it came out Palin-- ha! Freudian slip?) ignorant.

ESPECIALLY when they say:

Blacks should go back to Africa. Learn some history, stupid. Many did, many tried. Civil War costs ended a program doing such. Had I been there, I certainly would have got my return ticket. But after a certain point, like when white men were raping African women and impregnating them, people could no longer claim to be African. They were part white ( like the POTUS!!!) And like Frederick Douglass, who balked at Lincoln's plan to send all blacks, somewhere anywhere, I think when you're born in America, you're American. And they come in all colors-- get over it.

Blacks are all criminals. Generalizations aren't very arguable. Like "White people are all . . . "

One of my favorite: This is our country. HA! 'Cause you stole it fair and square??????

And another favorite: We built this country. BULLSH*T. We built this country. Most of y'all stood around, oh, I mean "supervised."

I really need to not read those comments. They get me all riled up.

And don't get me wrong. . . 'cause some of my best friends (hey, even my kids, in part) are white. . .

Quote for 9-02-10

Home is a shelter from storms - all sorts of storms.

--William J. Bennett

Oh and lots of wall space

Bookshelves could be everywhere.

That house

oh my!

So so gorgeous. 2 living areas, 3 1/2 bathrooms, a huge kitchen with an island and a pantry. A huge backyard, 2 garden spaces. . . oh I have to have it!

And the owner is willing to drop the rent 100 bucks.

Going to return the application tomorrow.

Lots of hoping and affirming and sending out vibes and praying and begging if I have to, heh heh

Quote for 9-01-10

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love my job

It's been a minute since I've felt that way. Today my students were just plain awesome.

tomorrow

I'm looking at a house. A big house with 3 bathrooms. It's close to the university, which is something I want. Hopeful and excited. Want to unpack my books. Yet again.