I don't want a boyfriend

"You're like twenty or something?" this guy asked me yesterday.

I laughed. "Nah, I'm more like 44."

"You're kidding? Damn , girl, you look good!"

I smiled.

"You married?"

"Nope."

"You have a boyfriend?"

"Nope."

"You want a boyfriend?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Don't know," I said. Conversation ended.

A lot of information has been coming my way, articles about intention and manifestation and one thing I have to be clear on is what I want. I thought about that guy's question and I don't know if he meant a boyfriend in general or him in particular, but I know that I don't want a boyfriend, or at least I wouldn't want that to become the status quo.

I want a man I can commit to, a man I will submit to. A man who inspires me to honor, respect and obey (yes, I did say that) him.

I always said I didn't want a husband. (I declined one proposal and with the other guy, well, I found it was easier/quicker/smarter to just return the dress and cancel the appt. for blood tests).

But I'm a different person, a better woman, now, and I do want a husband. I do. I do. I do.